SSBS – Medabots Episode 6: The Gimme Ghost Review

Plot: Ikki, Erika, Karin, Koji and Henry investigate the rumors of the Gimme Ghost – a ghost in the woods who terrorizes Medafighters until they hand over their medals.

Medabot Debuts:

Mistyghost: A GHT Metabot, Mistyghost’s design is based off of yuurei and have will o’ the wisps for arms. It can also project illusions to trick its opponents.

Robattles:

Ikki vs. Rubber Robo Gang: Winner – Ikki: Mistyghost forfeited its head.

Breakdown: Today’s episode starts with The Phantom Renegade flashily stealing medals from some….place that stores medals. Later, Henry tries to get Ikki and Erika to gush about the Phantom Renegade because he is the Phantom and wants an ego boost, but the two don’t give a crap about him. Instead, Erika relays a story she heard about the Gimme Ghost – a ghost who haunts the woods at night and forces Medafighters into giving it their medals. Ikki is terrified of the ghost, but Erika finds it to be an incredibly exciting article idea.

They’re soon met by Karin and Koji who are coming to ask for help with the Gimme Ghost. Koji was recently a victim of the ghost. His Sumilidon was damaged and his medals were stolen when he was in the woods the previous night.

That evening, the kids, their Medabots and Henry go off into the woods to confront the Gimme Ghost when Henry suddenly vanishes. Koji, for some reason, is acting like it’s ridiculous that it’d be the ghost and that they’re crazy for thinking anything’s in the woods……Uhm, excuse me, Koji, out of everyone in this group, you’re the only one who has had an encounter with the Gimme Ghost. You must have seen and fought it considering it beat Sumilidon and took all your medals. Why are acting as if the thing you seemingly know exists doesn’t exist? I get that it’s a big tough guy thing, but it doesn’t make sense.

Koji gets so agitated that he storms off ahead of everyone, the darkness eventually getting so bad that he gets separated from the others despite them being on a path. They suddenly hear him scream, making the others panic. It’s too dark for them to continue on or look for Koji and Henry.

….So….do none of these Medabots have lights? Out of all the things these Medabots can do, including miracle-healer NeutraNurse, having simple lights isn’t one of them?

Erika and Karin soon start feeling things touching them and weird slime starts dripping on their shoulders. Then little floating lights appear next to them. I have to say, for a show as goofy as Medabots, they’re definitely doing the best they can to make a creepy and mysterious atmosphere here, and I appreciate that.

They’re quickly met with the floating giant glowing yellow ‘eyes’ of the Gimme Ghost, who, as its namesake suggests, starts demanding “Gimme your medals!” Erika, Ikki, Karin, Brass and NeutraNurse run off, leaving Metabee, who wants to fight the ghost, alone. Ikki somehow gets separated from the girls, who are then cornered by the ghost. As Ikki runs off, he trips and falls over the unconscious body of Koji.

The Phantom Renegade shows up, explains who he is to Ikki, and then tells him to go home. Ikki runs off to find Erika and Karin only to find Brass and NeutraNurse who are empty shells because they had their Medals stolen.

I don’t really understand this. When Medabots aren’t in battle, they don’t have their Medals in them, right? Medafighters keep the Medals in their medawatches to allow them to communicate with and teleport their Medabots whenever they’re challenged to a Robattle. Many times, a Medafighter will put the Medal into their Medabot before a match, but otherwise they keep the Medal in their watch. Also, sometimes, when a Robattle is over, the loser will have their Medals pop out of their backs as a sort of sign that they’re definitively defeated.

In none of these circumstances do the Medabots end up being empty powerless shells because their Medal was not in their backs. I know that Medals act as the Medabots’ minds and kinda souls, but I don’t get why removing them would have that effect when it doesn’t any other time. Is it just a matter of the Medal being too far away from either the medawatch or the Medabot which causes this?

Also, that really sucks from a practicality standpoint. Imagine if you spent thousands of dollars on a Medabot for your kid but then it’s rendered useless because they lost the Medal? The Medals are the size of quarters. It wouldn’t be difficult for anyone to accidentally lose it, especially a kid, and especially since you take it out often or it pops out after a Robattle. It should just be like they can still be active and do stuff, but they have no personality and are creepily robotic…..pun not intended.

In a panic, Ikki grabs Koji and bolts through the woods. Koji wakes up while he’s being carried and demands Ikki put him down, but he won’t listen, causing him to accidentally fall backwards. Ikki still won’t stop running and keeps dragging him through the forest, leaving Koji unconscious again when they stop. It’s actually pretty funny.

Ikki stops at a cabin in the middle of the woods that has light coming from the windows. He approaches, believing he can ask for help, when he hears a voice inside counting Medals. He peeks through a crack in the door and spots Karin and Erika tied up and gagged on the floor while the perpetrator spouts exposition about how they started the ghost story to keep people away from their hideout, but it caused so many kids to come looking for the ghost that they were able to take the Medals of what looks like thousands of kids. They’re kinda taking the piss out on this clunky dialogue, though, because the next thing they say is that they’ll run their fingers through the Medals and laugh maniacally.

Why would you need to make up a ghost story to keep people away from your hideout that seems to be miles deep in the woods?

Anyway, it’s the Rubber Robo Gang, just in case you thought it’d be someone interesting.

Ikki gets found out, and, despite the fact that he knows the Gimme Ghost is the Rubber Robo Gang and he can see them doing the tricks to making the Gimme Ghost effects, he’s still going on about the Gimme Ghost and running around like a scared fool.

Ikki finally calls Metabee, who swiftly knocks them on their asses.

The Phantom Renegade shows up again, having saved Karin (Who would rather hug Metabee than Ikki) and Erika, but stole all of the Medals from the Rubber Robo Gang.

Pissed off, the RRG challenges Ikki to a Robattle using Mistyghost, the Metabot they used for their main tricks and illusions involving the Gimme Ghost.

Once the referee shows up, the Robattle starts. Mistyghost lures Metabee into the woods, emerging as several copies. The RRG claims Mistyghost has the power to multiply, but Ikki says a power like that should be impossible. Again, Neutranurse can instantly repair Medabots and heal wounds on living beings. I don’t think anything is outside of the realm of possibility for Medabots.

Ikki tells Metabee that if Mistyghost is multiplying, Metabee has to start subtracting. He has to use his lasers to take them all out until the numbers are down to zero. Then Metabee says;

Metabee: “I got a better idea. I’ll blast them ‘til there’s none left!”

Yeah….that is uh…literally exactly what he just said.

I don’t get that line at all. They were either implying that Metabee was going against Ikki’s orders when he wasn’t or they were trying to do that thing where a character explains something in overly complicated jargon that the other person can’t understand so the joke becomes that the other person repeats what the first person said in a simpler manner without realizing they actually understood and were just parroting what the first person said. But that doesn’t make any sense because what Ikki said wasn’t that complicated at all. How could anyone possibly be confused by “use your lasers to shoot them all until they’re down to zero”?

Metabee shoots them up, but none of his shots are hitting because the copies aren’t real. The copies corner Metabee on a cliffside, which shouldn’t be possible. Metabee, you’re well aware that they’re not solid objects. Just run towards them to get away from the cliff….

The copies are revealed to be projections that the other RRG members are creating. I don’t really get that, though, because the Index screen said that it can create multiple projections. Why would the RRG need to make their own projections?

Their trick is uncovered by the Phantom Renegade, who is shining a light on the copies to make them vanish. Now that they know which Mistyghost is the real one, Metabee punches it out and wins the match. I don’t agree with that ruling. I understand that the RRG were technically cheating, but they weren’t using an ability that Mistyghost isn’t supposed to have. There were about five or six copies. If Mistyghost can’t manage that many on its own, it doesn’t deserve to have its special ability note be MULTIPLE projections.

And, lets say it accounted for at least half of those projections. What the RRG made wouldn’t have impacted much besides making it harder to tell which is which. However, it’s still kinda dumb because you can CLEARLY tell that some of these copies are see-through. You can’t even use darkness as an excuse for not being able to tell them from the real ones because image projections require a good deal of light. You’d probably be able to tell which was which just based on which ones were glowing.

The Phantom Renegade’s interference was cheating on Metabee’s side, technically. No, TPR isn’t aligned with him, but he still only shined that light on those copies to help Metabee and Ikki.

This doesn’t mean I think the RRG should have won either, but I do think the match should have been stopped and reset.

Ikki wins Mistyghost’s head, even though the RRG ran away immediately after losing.

TPR falls out of the tree.

Ikki: “The Phantom Renegade.”

Erika: “He has our Medals.”

Karin: “Stop him.”

Yes, and after we do that, let’s get some espresso for your voice actors because they’re clearly falling asleep in the studio.

The sack of Medals rips, causing the Medals to spill out everywhere. TPR chooses to run away instead of find a way to scoop up the Medals. The kids laugh at him and claim they can now find the owners of all those Medals and return them to their rightful owners.

Holy shit.

How?

There look to be at least hundreds if not thousands of Medals in that bag. How would you be able to find all of the owners of those Medals, let alone ensure that each of them was going to their rightful owners? Did they write their names on them? Because, as far as I know, the Medals don’t contain any private information of the owner of the Medabot in which it belongs.

Koji wakes up, none of them realizing he was even there.

Erika: “Sorry, I think I stepped on your head.”

Koji: “Yeah, that would explain all the grass in my mouth and the loss of my short-term memory.”

Why is Medabots being legitimately funny today?

Henry pops up, pretending like he just got lost, none of them being the wiser that Henry was TPR.

In the end, Erika got to publish her article on the ghost, highlighting Ikki and Metabee’s part, the Medals were all returned, and TPR lived to steal Medals another day.

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I was shocked that I didn’t have all that much to talk about in this episode. In fact, other that the Robattle, it’s a pretty solid Scooby-Doo-esque ghost episode.

I really like Mistyghost’s design, though I’m bummed that it’s owned by the RRG and probably won’t ever show up again. The episode managed to actually have some semblance of a spooky ambiance, which surprised me. And they even had some funny jokes. I was kinda impressed, honestly. After numerous episodes of being mostly sloppy and unfunny, it’s nice to see that they can actually pull off something pretty decent, even if it’s still not all that great. Hope that this trend keeps up at the very least sporadically.

One last thing, this is like the third episode in a row where the plot was “Mysterious (x) is challenging and defeating Medafighters left and right, scaring kids all over. Let’s investigate it to find out what it is!” and the second in a row that is literally a Scooby-Doo plot of “we started this monster/ghost rumor to keep people away!” Is there a reason for that?

Next time, Spyke and Cyandog get kicked out the Screws for losing too much. Are they just that bad or is there another issue with their fighting style?

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SSBS – Cardfight!! Vanguard Episode 23: Fateful Encounter Review

Plot: Aichi, Kamui and Misaki (And Morikawa) head to Card Shop Psy and meet the National Champion of Vanguard, Ren. Aichi experiences odd visions when Ren gets a weird glowing look in his eyes. Kourin challenges Ren to a match using identical decks, allowing the others to spectate. Is Ren really as good as his reputation suggests?

Breakdown: Aichi’s getting visions now? Okie dokie.

To my understanding, Ren is meant to be one of the main antagonists of season one, and I’m just not impressed. He’s a cocky guy in a long black coat. There’s just not a lot to him to make him stand out to me. Even the pirate guys had a gimmick to them, but he’s just very typical and bland. Hopefully that will change later when I actually see him fighting with his own deck.

Otherwise, this episode was….a Cardfight. Maybe I’m grumpy because I’m sick as of this writing, but yeah….it was a Cardfight.

I really feel like this show still has a bit of an issue not being easy enough to follow along if you don’t play the game. I know it’s been a while since I last watched the show, but I was still having a bit of trouble fully understanding why certain things were happening. Most notably, I have difficulty understanding guards and why you sometimes need several of them to block an attack. I get that it has something to do with the power discrepancies between attacker and target, but I haven’t quite grasped it yet. I even watched some videos about it, and it still sounds like gibberish to me.

One of the videos I watched showed the rules on screen, and the guard step section was literally over a page long. If someone can simplify it for my little pea brain, I’d appreciate it.

Next time, the team finds out Misaki has a eidetic memory and decide to apply it to Vanguard.

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SSBS – Beyblade Episode 6: Dragoon Storm Review

Plot: Tyson faces off against Ray in the semi-finals. After getting savagely defeated in the first round, Kenny upgrades Tyson’s blade with a new untested defense ring. Can this newly outfitted Dragoon defeat the brutal slashes of Driger?

Bey-Battles

Segmented Battle

Round 1: Tyson (Dragoon S) vs. Ray (Driger S) – Victor: Ray

Round 2: Tyson (Dragoon S) vs. Ray (Driger S) – Victor: Tyson

Round 3: Forfeited by Ray

Overall Winner: Tyson

Breakdown: It’s finally time for Tyson’s match with Ray, and while Tyson is psyched for the match, Ray is being a conceited bored little prick.

Tyson is waiting for Kenny to show up since he was supposed to help trick out his Beyblade before the match, but Kenny is……somewhere doing research and trying to build a Beyblade for Tyson, I guess not realizing what time it is.

I was really confused by this because they made it sound like Kenny had Tyson’s Dragoon, and I was wondering how he’d be able to compete without it. But I guess Kenny’s just making a copy of Dragoon or something?

Max’s dad offers to modify Tyson’s blade, but then after thinking about for a second he rescinds his offer and tells them to go out anyway. Uh thanks for nothing, Mr. Tate.

Before this match, there are graphics showing the details of each Beyblader, which is also kinda cool and realistic (considering this is a televised sporting event), but once again I’m confused as all hell as to the status of Bit Beasts at this point. They not only know both Tyson and Ray’s Bit Beasts, but they also have graphics for both of them and list their special attacks.

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Also, I’m not quite certain the stats are correct. They’re pretty vague star ratings, but Dragoon has max attack and evasion with minimum defense, which I can buy, but Driger has medium attack and evasion with maximum defense. That just doesn’t sound right to me. I’d think the attack would be maxed and evasion and defense would be two stars, but I dunno.

The match starts, and Dragoon immediately vanishes. It reappears above Driger and slams down on it, smacking it away a bit, but it’s not enough to get it out of the stadium. Driger rushes towards Dragoon, and one of the announcers exclaims that Ray made Driger spin counter-clockwise…..as if he just did that now? I don’t think he did that mostly because that’s impossible.

Without summoning Driger, he uses his Tiger Claw attack to carve up Dragoon and send it flying out of the stadium.

Max: “Dad, how did Ray get his Beyblade to disappear?” He didn’t do that. Tyson made his disappear.

Ray wins the first round, but then he starts to walk away. Ray finds no reason to continue because he doesn’t see Tyson as a challenge. It’s weird. I really don’t remember Ray being such a cocky asshat. I remembered him being pretty humble. Maybe he gets better later?

Just so he’s not seen as forfeiting, he also points out that Tyson’s blade is in no condition to battle. If he can’t fix it, he can’t continue anyway.

Tyson is shocked by this, but dude….why? How else do you think you can compete? There are literal claw marks dug into your blade.

What’s more shocking is Tyson reveals he DIDN’T BRING ANY SPARE PARTS…..like a dumbass. Literally every other Beyblader we’ve seen in this tournament was seen holding a tool box with spare parts in it, but Tyson, the best Beyblader in his town, didn’t think to bring any spare parts to this Beyblade tournament. Good job, Tyson.

Luckily, Kenny shows up with a box of spare parts, saving Tyson’s ass. Kenny reveals that he’s been up all night (has it been a night?) coming up with a new “invention” that Dizzi designed. It’s a new defense ring……….Even though Dragoon S doesn’t have a defense ring. The part that Kenny is holding up is an attack ring, hence why it has the big blades on it. A defense ring is kinda similar to a weight ring, only plastic. It has no blades on it.

Kenny: “So in order to properly defend against his extraordinary assaults, I’m going to accelerate your Beyblade’s attack spin in the frontal area.”

Wow, Kenny, that was a bunch of beautiful gibberish. You’re going to defend against attacks by….spinning? What’s a Beyblade’s attack spin? Is there a defense spin? What the hell is the frontal area of a Beyblade? It’s a circle and it’s constantly spinning.

Kenny: “Unless we increase the Dragoon’s power attack, we might as well quit.” Power attack?

When Kenny introduces his new “defense” ring…..

Kenny: “It’s made from a special indestructible alloy…” ….Adamantium? Also, does this mean Kenny literally made this ring? Does he cut metal? This was before 3D printing.

Before he heads out, Kenny warns Tyson that the new ring hasn’t been field tested yet – it’s only been successfully simulation tested. However, Tyson has faith in Kenny’s skills.

I love when Kenny puts Dragoon back together and holds it up. They clearly forgot to add the rest of the detailing to the Beyblade and put a flesh color in the middle, so it just looks like Kenny is holding up the “defense” ring again.

Mr. Dickinson comes into the….locker room? Waiting room? Whatever this is, to have a talk with Ray. He’s still being super cocky and doesn’t even want to continue the tournament because he thinks every competitor is lame and he could beat everyone with his eyes closed. Dickinson tells him to not write off everyone just yet since they could surprise him.

DJ Jazzman: “So, if you two are ready, let’s get it on! I SAID IS EVERYBODY OUT THERE READY?!” You didn’t say that…….Nitpicky but….he didn’t.

DJ Jazzman: “Wow! Tyson has changed his shooting technique, and his Beyblade is just a blur!” Uh….he didn’t change his shooting technique at all. And his Beyblade literally vanished the last time they battled.

While the instability of the new ring is making Tyson’s Beyblade overheat, Ray’s attacks are less effective than they were before. Tyson goes on the offensive and starts making a tornado with Dragoon, which is something Kenny is surprised by even though he’s seen this before.

The tornado surrounds Driger, but Ray isn’t done quite yet. He unleashes Driger…..Forgive me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t that be pronounced like “tiger” not like “trigger”? I mean, saying it like “trigger” sounds better, but if the tiger motif is what they’re going for, you’d think it’d sound like “tiger.”

Anyway, summoning Driger eliminates the tornado, leaving everyone in shock. Kenny wishes Dizzi were there to witness this……why do you not have Dizzi? You carry Dizzi everywhere, and one of your favorite pastimes is recording and analyzing Beybattles with Dizzi.

Ray and Tyson both go on the offensive and match each other head to head for a little bit before Kenny chimes in.

Kenny: “Tyson, there’s something important I forgot to tell you! The defense ring isn’t built for attacking!”

Jesus tap dancing Christ, Kenny.

So, first of all, what you’re saying is you REPLACED his attack ring with a defense ring – not that this is just a secondary ring? You said this defense ring works by increasing his attack power and spin….but it’s not designed for attacking? What the hell is the point of this defense ring, Kenny? Was the plan to just see if Driger would lose spin before Dragoon?

Tyson’s not giving up either way, and…uh…the stadium starts vibrating?

I think if Beyblades spinning within the arena can cause such violent vibration, maybe you need to tighten something.

Tyson calls out Dragoon, which shocks Ray even though I thought Tyson having a Bit Beast was known information if the graphic at the start was any indication. The two clash, Dragoon once again creating a massive tornado, and to everyone’s shock Driger is ejected from the stadium.

Tyson has won round two, and it’s now a tied game.

This is just so weird. Tyson, with his original attack ring, couldn’t so much as graze Driger. He puts on an unbalanced non-attack oriented “defense” ring that actually causes his Beyblade to overheat, and he pulls out a win. Okie dokie. Even Kenny doesn’t understand how that happened.

Max jumps down from his seat, which is like a 15 foot drop, to run to Tyson even though he didn’t win the full match – just that one battle.

Ray: “Why did….you let me…..lose the battle?” Why is…..your dialogue……….so stilted?

I guess one loss humbles the shit out of Ray because he immediately jumps down, congratulates Tyson and compliments his skills. Now they’re good buddies, I suppose. He also forfeits the final battle because he doesn’t think his skills can match Tyson.

That match was way too close for him to flip so hard. I mean, really, what kind of competitor is he if he trounces Tyson in the first battle, basically brushes him off for how easy he declared the battle, and then he quits after losing narrowly in the second battle?

In all honesty, we’ve only got about a minute of runtime left and they didn’t want this to be a two-parter, so off he goes.

Ray meets Dickinson in the hall to talk about it, and he reveals that he wants to join Tyson’s team.

With Ray out of the running, they immediately head off to the finals where Kai waits to face off against Tyson.

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This was a pretty exciting episode, battle-wise. Everything-else-wise was much clunkier. Kenny made a completely nonsensical upgrade to Tyson’s Beyblade that I can only assume made more sense in the original Japanese version, and it still managed to eek out a win for him despite getting squashed before.

Ray’s heel turn also came out of nowhere. He was literally yawning and being completely disrespectful of Tyson beforehand, but he manages to get a win and he not only humbles himself and compliments Tyson, but he also bows out of the final round. At the very least, I’m pretty sure he’ll be much more tolerable to watch from this point on since, again, I didn’t remember him being such an asshat when I first watched this.

Next time, Tyson and Kai meet in the finals to finally have their rematch.

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SSBS – Yu Yu Hakusho Episode 8: The Three Eyes of Hiei Review

Plot: Yusuke and Botan, who is now posing as a classmate of his, catch up on the roof of the school. Botan has used her healing powers to help Yusuke recover for his next battle, and Kurama has been freed by the Spirit World punishment board on good behavior.

Things aren’t all great though, as Keiko spots Yusuke and Botan hanging out. They act suspicious around her, since Yusuke is trying to keep his Spirit Detective job a secret from her. As a result, she believes there’s something romantic going on between them.

Pressing Spirit World matters come first before Yusuke’s love life, however. Yusuke has one more artifact to retrieve – The Shadow Sword – and it’s in the hands of his toughest enemy yet, Hiei – the fire apparition with a third Jagan eye that grants him great power.

In order to get Yusuke to hand over the other two artifacts willingly, Hiei kidnaps Keiko and holds her hostage. His plot works, and Yusuke hands over the Orb of Baast and the Forlorn Hope to Hiei, but this face-off is far from over.

Hiei reveals that he’s struck Keiko with the Shadow Sword. In moments, when the third eye on her head opens wide, Keiko will become a mindless demon slave. Only the elixir stored in the sword’s hilt can change her back. Botan uses her Spirit Energy to help keep the eye from closing while Yusuke battles Hiei, but the battle is very one-sided.

Hiei is incredibly fast and powerful, especially once he transforms into his full demon state. Botan struggles even more upon this transformation as Keiko’s new demon eye starts feeding on Hiei’s demonic energy. Yusuke is able to get in some good shots, but Hiei quickly regains the upper hand, binding Yusuke with chains of demonic energy.

Just as he’s about to finish off Yusuke for good, Kurama suddenly bursts in and steps in the way of his sword strike. He cuts himself on the blade and throws the blood back in Hiei’s Jagan eye. With the eye blinded, Yusuke becomes unbound. Kurama goes to help Botan keep Keiko from transforming while Yusuke fights Hiei once more.

Hiei realizes that Yusuke becomes much more powerful the more the people he care about are put at risk, so he decides to end the battle once and for all. Yusuke tries to shoot Hiei with his Spirit Gun, but misses due to Hiei’s swift speed. However, Hiei is still struck from behind by the blast. Yusuke had used the Forlorn Hope, which had fallen on the floor in the battle, to bounce the Spirit Gun back and hit Hiei.

The Forlorn Hope was destroyed, but Hiei was vanquished.

Yusuke gives the elixir to Keiko, and her transformation is reversed. The group all delight in his victory, but it seems this was another instance of Yusuke’s dumb luck because he honestly didn’t know if the Spirit Gun could bounce off mirrors – he mostly just guessed.

Back at school the next day, Botan relays that, while they did retrieve the artifacts in time, King Yama still found out that they were stolen since the sword had blood on it and the Forlorn Hope was shattered. As a result, Koenma received 100 spankings.

Keiko spots the two of them hanging out again, and since Yusuke hasn’t been able to tell her about his secret, and she doesn’t remember anything about the events with Hiei, she assumes, again, and they’re romantically involved. Yusuke rushes to correct her, but she’s not very open to listening to him.

Yusuke’s first case is closed, but there is a new challenge right over the horizon.

Breakdown: Hey Keiko, you’re looking a bit distressed.

Damsel in distress.

I don’t know what I was doing with that joke.

Anyway, this episode is pretty good. It’s not the greatest, and I don’t think it’s a fantastic debut of Hiei, but it’s pretty good. I always kinda disliked Hiei’s full demon form. It’s not absolutely horrible, but it’s ugly and doesn’t make a lot of sense. Why is that his full demon form? He’s a fire apparition, and the Jagan eye was surgically implanted, yet his full demon form is green skin and eyes all over his body.

And what was the point of mind-controlling all of those humans? They pretty much disappeared after they handed over Keiko.

Wonder where they went. Hm. Must’ve burned to a pile of white ash considering the sun is basically giving eskimo kisses to the earth right outside.

Seriously, animators, tone the sun and moon sizes down.

That being said, Hiei is still a very significant threat who very nearly did kill Yusuke if Kurama hadn’t bamf’d in and saved him. Have I mentioned how much I love Kurama? Because it’s a lot. Dude took a sword to the stomach for Yusuke and used his own blood to down Hiei while shrugging off the wound like it was nothing. Badass is an understatement.

Plus, Botan even got a moment of badassery. If it weren’t for her, Keiko would be all demonized right now. But, speaking of Botan….she has healing powers? Where were these earlier? And why is this even being brought up? Wasn’t he more or less recovered after his meeting with Kurama? I know he was hobbling around when Kurama called him out, but he was basically fine when he met him at the hospital. Did they just want to ensure no one would ask why Yusuke’s at full power even though he got a whuppin’ by Gouki?

I honestly don’t remember her using healing powers in the future, but maybe I’m forgetting something.

As a whole, this arc was a great start for Yusuke, and it’s allowed him to grow as a fighter and a Spirit Detective quite a bit more. We’ve also learned, in typical shounen fighting hero fashion, that his powers get stronger when the people he cares about are in danger or wounded.

Speaking of shounen fighting anime, get your brackets ready – it’s time for our first tournament arc! The powerful psychic, Genkai, is looking to pass on her abilities before she passes away, so she holds a tournament to determine who is most worthy of her power. To ensure her incredible abilities don’t fall into the wrong hands, Yusuke is tasked with joining the tournament. Can he beat out the rest and become Genkai’s pupil?

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SSBS – Beyblade Episode 5: Draciel of Approval Review

Plot: It’s the semi-finals of the regional tournament, and Max is up against Kai! Max has a brand new Beyblade weighted for balance and defense, but Kai has no intentions of losing to Tyson’s new friend. Can Max manage to win a battle without a Bit Beast or will one manage to find him before it’s too late?

Bey-Battles

Segmented Battle

Round 1: Max (Draciel Metal Ball Defenser) vs Kai (Dranzer S) – Victor: Kai

Round 2: Max (Draciel Metal Ball Defenser) vs Kai (Dranzer S) – Victor: Max

Round 3: Max (Draciel Metal Ball Defenser) vs Kai (Dranzer S) – Victor: Kai

Overall Winner: Kai

Breakdown: There are only four participants left in the tournament – Tyson, Max, Kai and the mysterious specially invited guest, Ray. Max is set to go up against Kai while Tyson’s match with Ray will come right after. Before Max’s bout, his father gives him a pendant that was Max’s grandmother’s.

They introduce a new BeyStadium, the first trick BeyStadium we’ve seen in the series – the Saucer Bowl. In this stadium, it’s not the Beyblade that stays spinning the longest that wins – it’s whichever manages to get in the top of the centerpiece and stay there for ten seconds. In this battle, it’s a best of three matchup.

I know I said I’d stop talking about this, and I promise I’m trying, but this is one of those situations where it’s insanely hard to ignore how little the mechanics of this series makes sense. The announcers are all “It takes great skill and concentration to get up there!” but like….from who? They’re literally just standing there watching their Beyblades do stuff.

Anyway, Max reveals his newly altered Beyblade has ball bearings in it to make it heavier and more balanced.

Max manages to get to the center for a while, but Dranzer slams down on his blade, causing it fly out of the arena. Dranzer stays in the center for ten seconds, giving Kai the first round win.

Encouraged by Tyson to face him in the finals, Max trudges on and plots a new strategy for defeating Kai. As they enter round two, Max launches his blade with a reverse pull and immediately shoots up into the center. No one can figure out what Max’s plan is with the reverse launch until Kai does the exact same attack move he did before, landing on Max’s blade with a deafening thud. This time, Max’s blade stays standing, though stops spinning, while Dranzer spins on top of it.

Max launched his blade with a reverse pull to send it spinning in the opposite direction, which would absorb Kai’s attack and leave his blade spinning…….Which…uh…yeah, that’s…no. First of all, I don’t care how many ball bearings you have in that thing, there’s no way it’s balanced enough to stay standing without spinning, especially if a Beyblade just body slammed into it from 30 feet in the air. Second, this plan relied entirely on Dranzer hitting Draciel smack dab in the middle. If it hit even a little bit on either side, it would easily lose balance and fall over.

Also, Draciel stopped spinning…..Doesn’t that mean it should be out of the match? I wasn’t aware that a blade can technically stay in the game if it’s upright but not spinning.

Kai calls for a final attack before the ten seconds is up, but Max reveals the rest of his plan. Absorbing the energy from Dranzer’s spinning, Draciel is able to spin in the other direction, causing Dranzer to stop spinning and be booted out of the arena while the ten seconds is called.

Uhm…..Uh???

Okay, I should specify something here – that explanation I just gave was my interpretation on what happened. Max just says Draciel will start spinning in the opposite direction now. He doesn’t explain how or why this is happening, he just says that it will, like he can call for it by demand or something. It also doesn’t explain why Dranzer would just stop spinning when he does this. You’d think if Draciel started spinning in the same direction it would actually make Dranzer spin more, not stop. And I checked – Draciel is going counter-clockwise when he starts spinning again, and Dranzer is going counter-clockwise when it stops.

I have no clue what happened. I’m so confused.

Anyway, Max wins round two. Draciel’s cracked bit chip (the top part where a Bit Beast goes – it’s just a generic filler piece if there’s no Bit Beast in there.) suddenly shatters after he’s declared winner. This causes the blade to bounce out of control and fly off toward Max, hitting him square in his grandmother’s pendant, which also shatters, much to Max’s complete shock.

Announcer: “Where’s all the king’s horses and all the king’s men when you really need them?” Who cares? They didn’t/couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again, so how would they be helpful here?

Apparently, losing just the bit chip is enough for them to start disqualifying Max if he can’t fix it. Uhm, every single person here has a little case with them that I assume is filled with replacement parts and tools and such. Max’s dad also owns a Beyblade store. How is it possible Max doesn’t have the means of repairing that piece right now? It’s not even an important piece. As I said, without a Bit Beast in it, the bit chip is entirely for aesthetics.

Okay, we had to jump through some hoops to accept the manner in which Tyson got Dragoon. But why did Max’s grandma just randomly have a Bit Beast? And why did she keep it in a pendant?

“Grandma must have meant for me to find this!” You never would have discovered that if your blade didn’t randomly shatter the pendant off your neck. And why wouldn’t she just give it to you instead of hiding it in a pendant?

The final round starts, and both Dranzer and Draciel stay in the center for ten seconds at the same time. As a result, they have to go into overtime, which is just a typical BeyBattle until one or the other falls. Kai actually gives a compliment to Max, telling him he performed well, but he’s ready to end it now. As the blades clash, Max’s Beyblade glows purple and unleashes the power of Draciel.

Draciel manages to knock Dranzer up and away, and it seems like he’s got the win in the bag, but Kai unleashes his own Bit Beast and sends Dranzer after him. With one swift attack, Draciel is knocked out of the arena. At a score of one to two, Kai wins and moves onto the finals while Max concedes defeat.

Backstage, Max congratulates Kai for his victory, which he hesitantly accepts before leaving. Max is bummed about losing, but he has high hopes for next time, and he absolutely adores his new Bit Beast. Tyson and Kenny meet him backstage to raise his spirits after his defeat, declaring him the true champion since he put up such a good fight.

That night, the boys relax in some hot springs when they hear the sounds of a Beyblade over the dividing wall. Peeking over, they see Ray in a cloud of smoke, surrounded by deep cuts in the ground left from practicing with his Beyblade. His and Tyson’s match is up next, and Tyson couldn’t be more excited.

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This was a pretty good episode. I thought the new BeyStadium was simplistic but cool. I like creative BeyStadiums that could actually exist and be used in real life. I thought Max’s strategy, while not really making much sense out of universe, was interesting in the second round. He didn’t really have any strategy for round three outside of using Draciel, and he didn’t even know how to activate him.

I appreciate Kai actually being fairly respectful towards Max during this entire episode. For a guy who thrives on trash talk and has a massive ego, he didn’t really sling any shit towards Max. He even complimented him verbally once and internally a few times.

It was fairly clear that Max was going to lose this bout. Just like it’s pretty clear Tyson is going to win his match with Ray so they can have the finals be the big rematch between Tyson and Kai. However, he did give Kai a pretty good run for his money. He even won one round, which is pretty good. He takes everything in stride, so, while you feel bad for him, you don’t feel too bad. He had fun, so that’s all that matters.

If there’s one big complaint I have about this episode, it’s that it sucks as a debut episode for Draciel. It’s hard to think much of Draciel when it lost in one shot and didn’t even actually do anything on its first time out. Max managed to win one round without Draciel installed, and he loses in one hit with him installed. If anything, it actually makes Max’s blade seem worse now.

Next time, it’s Tyson vs. Ray and the debut of Driger!

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SSBS – Bakugan: Battle Brawlers | Episode 5: Runo Rules Review

Plot: Dan learns that Runo lives in his town after bumping into her while running an errand. After accidentally leaving his BakuPod behind after their meeting, Runo intercepts a challenge message from Masquerade to Dan. Having lost Bakugan to Masquerade, she takes the challenge on herself. Dan rushes to the scene to get his BakuPod back, and they both learn that Masquerade isn’t there. In his place is the local bully, Tatsuya, who is working for Masquerade and was meant to challenge Dan.

Runo asks to take Dan’s place, however, itching for revenge against Masquerade. Dan agrees, and Runo and Tatsuya brawl. With some patience and strategy, Runo is able to defeat the hot-headed Tatsuya.

Breakdown: Alright, Bakugan…..Let’s just dispense with the niceties. Please don’t suck today.

We start with Dan talking with his friends online about him patching things up with Drago until his mom comes upstairs to get him to do an errand.

Dan: “WHAT?! Yeah, but can’t you see I’m busy with my boys right now, mom?”……Three of the four people you’re talking with right now are girls…..

His mom convinces him to do it by explaining she needs him to go to the supermarket since there’s a big sale on loin tips – his favorite dinner.

Meanwhile, at the park, enter asshole kid number, what are we on, six now? Anyway, his name’s Tatsuya. He’s bullying some other Bakugan players, and apparently this little twerp’s so scary that him merely yelling is enough to get all three of these kids to haul ass out of there screaming.

They’re doing some weird distortion thing to Masquerade’s voice this time around. I don’t know why. He challenges Tatsuya to a brawl. I’m not going to bother recapping it because it doesn’t matter.

The point is, Tatsuya….well, I would say ‘loses’ but he only lost two Bakugan, so I guess he conceded.

Meanwhile, Runo’s whining about her job waitressing at her parents’ restaurant, even though there’s literally no one there.

Her mom sends her out on an errand to get some meat for the restaurant. If she goes, she’ll make her favorite dinner – liver kabobs….ew.

Hey, wait. What are the odds that there’s a huge meat sale not going on in the exact place Dan is right now? I smell a mighty big coinky dink.

Runo assumes she’ll bump into Dan at the store. We see that they’re similar doofs because they get excited about their respective meatstuffs and even sing about it incessantly as they head to the store.

Runo: *to Dan* “Do you live around here?!” Why would you assume you’d bump into Dan at the store if you didn’t think he lived around where you live?

Runo challenges Dan to a Bakugan Brawl later in the park, he accepts and they part. Runo discovers that he dropped his watch thing, which we now learn, five friggin’ episodes in, that it’s called a BakuPod. Also, judging from your empty bags, neither of you have been to the store yet, so why are you guys separating right now?

Dan gets a message over it, and Runo, being ever so respectful of the privacy of others, opens it. It’s a challenge from Masquerade, and Runo’s going to take it.

Meanwhile, Dan realizes his BakuPod is gone. I love how they flashback to Dan losing his BakuPod when he bumped into Runo because you can only barely tell it happened. I watched the shot three times – you can only just barely see it on the edge of the screen.

He goes back to where he bumped into Runo, but finds nothing. He rightfully assumes Runo must’ve taken it.

Meanwhile, Runo meets with Tatsuya, who has taken Masquerade’s place in the challenge. I just learned that apparently you can enter the Bakugan dimension, or whatever this is, if you run fast enough to avoid being halted in time. Okie dokie.

Runo complains as she gives Dan’s BakuPod back to him even though she both read/watched his messages and stole his challenge. So when do I get likable characters? Sometime soon, I hope?

I guess, at the very least, Dan’s understanding about the situation, given that Runo has lost Bakugan to Masquerade (but….this isn’t Masquerade, so….) He even cheers her on.

They both throw out their gate cards, and Runo sends out Juggernoid first. Tatsuya sends out a Gargonoid. Being stronger than Juggernoid, Gargonoid attacks. Runo counters with the ability card, Lightning Shield, which lowers Juggernoid’s attack by 100. Despite being only 10gs stronger than Juggernoid, it still gets sent to the Doom Dimension….Still not sure why some attacks are strong enough to destroy other Bakugan but others are only strong enough to….send them back to ball form or whatever. Sure would be helpful if the show told us basically anything about the rules of this game the show is centered on. But I suppose that’s just asking too much.

Help me out – is Bakugan plural on its own? From the way the characters have been talking this whole series, I thought it was Bakugan singular and plural not Bakugans. I looked online, but all I found was an obviously incorrect answer on Answers.com that said it’s Bakugans like how Pokemon plural is Pokemons (it is not)…..I’m 99.99% certain it’s Bakugan, but Runo just said ‘Bakugans.’

I find it funny that Runo said several lines about how everything was riding on Gargonoid at the start, but it’s gone now and she is still brawling.

Runo throws out a Saurus, Tatsuya continues to be annoying and then sends Gargonoid out again. He uses the ability card, Fire Judge (really just adoring this never ending cascade of creative names) which increases its power to 430g.

Runo: “I’m down to my last chance to win!” You’ve been saying that since literally before the match started. You still have one more Bakugan to go and a trump card in Tigrerra. Chill out.

Using an Ability Counter card, she neutralizes Fire Judge’s effects, bringing it back down to 330g, which is still higher than Saurus’ 290g.

Dan: “He’s right, Runo. That wasn’t much of a move. His Gargonoid’s got power. Loads of it.” Not much of a move? She got rid of 100g of his advantage. Now he only has 40g over her. I know I don’t understand this game very well (I wonder why) but that’s not THAT much more powerful. If it was, Tatsuya wouldn’t have felt the need to use Fire Judge in the first place.

Tatsuya attacks, but Runo uses her Gate Card to switch the attack of her Saurus with that of her strongest Bakugan, which is her Tigrerra. At 340g, he beats Gargonoid (I guess? The Wiki counts it as a win, but Gargonoid wasn’t destroyed because it didn’t get sent to the Doom Dimension, and they’re seemingly acting as if a 10g advantage shouldn’t be enough to destroy Bakugan….I dunno. Is it just three victories overall? Because that’s even more confusing.)

Runo sends Saurus back out and Tatsuya calls on a Griffon. He uses Fire Wall to lower Saurus’ attack by 50g, making it 360g vs. 240g. He attacks, but Runo uses her latest Gate Card, Pyrus, which swaps the attacks of each combating creature, giving Saurus the win.

Dan: “That was awesome! How did you figure out that counter move?” Using a card specifically meant to counter attacks by stronger opponents as you’re being attacked by a stronger opponent? Yeah, Runo, how did you come up with that one?

Runo sends out another Gate Card and Saurus again. Tatsuya sends out his last Bakugan, Fear Ripper, and calls for an attack. This guy’s whole strategy is nothing but blindly attacking. He uses ability cards, sure, but he doesn’t counter anything. Meanwhile, Runo’s whole strategy has been built on just waiting for him to attack because she keeps laying traps, which he always falls into because he’s an idiot. He’s terribly boring as an opponent.

Not like we should have expected much of him anyway if he surrendered to Masquerade after losing two Bakugan.

Runo uses some sort of wall card that stops Fear Ripper’s attack. Now she calls upon Tigrerra after she’s been spending the whole match begging to be put in the fight.

Runo: “I figure with your power, we can finish off his Gargonoid and walk away with a win!” Yeah……except you beat Gargonoid two rounds ago and are currently fighting Fear Ripper…..

The wall goes down, and Tatsuya attacks Saurus with Fear Ripper….but it doesn’t defeat it? Then Tigrerra attacks, Fear Ripper counter attacks, but that also doesn’t defeat anyone? Saurus then grapples Fear Ripper, Tigrerra jumps on his back, Runo activates the ability card…or gate card Crystal Fang that….makes Tigrerra’s claws grow?……Fear Ripper is defeated, okay?

We’re robbed of seeing Tatsuya post-loss and instead immediately jump to Dan and Runo talking about it while lying in a field.

Dan: (About Tigrerra reacting to Runo calling her cute) “Hey look, she’s blushing!”

*they all laugh for a few seconds*

Runo: “I’m so funny, ya know?”……….You….didn’t make the joke…..Dan barely made a joke. What are you talking about?

The episode ends with Runo, Dan and their parents having a cookout so they can argue about meat.

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Well, that certainly was a thing I watched. What an utterly pointless episode. Granted, it’s a breath of fresh air to watch someone besides Dan brawl, and Runo’s a pretty good player, even if she, as a character, is annoying as hell. Her relationship with Tigrerra is also much more interesting to watch than Dan and Drago’s.

However, Tatsuya is a really boring and irritating opponent. He’s every little snot-nosed bully brat you’ve ever seen in shounen gaming anime. He laughs at every Bakugan the protagonist throws out and talks so much shit you’d think their mouth was a septic tank.

He’s focused purely on attack power with absolutely no strategy. Even though Runo wins time and again with traps, he just keeps attacking like an idiot.

Plus, it’s not the best writing choice in the world to have the big antagonist of the day get handily defeated in the first five minutes of the episode.

The only thing this episode really served to do was show that Dan and Runo can now hang out in real life, and we got to see Runo actually do things. She’s too annoying for me to really care, however.

Next time, more Runo. Dan and Runo enter the first team up match we’ve seen in the series, so that should at least be interesting.

…..Previous Episode

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SSBS – Yu Yu Hakusho Episode 7: Gouki and Kurama Review

Plot: Yusuke is going toe to toe with the demon, Gouki, who is using the Orb of Baast to steal souls, particularly those of small children, and eating them. However, it seems like Yusuke has bitten off more than he can chew with the hulking Gouki towering over him and easily taking every blow Yusuke doles out. The same cannot be said of Yusuke, however, who is being pounded into dust.

He’s suddenly saved by a familiar voice acting as a group of people posing a threat to Gouki. The demon decides to spare Yusuke for now and flee before the group shows up. A tattered Yusuke then quickly passes out.

Three days later, he awakens at home to a tearful mother who had been worried her son’s life might have been in danger. Turns out, the familiar voice he heard was Botan. She had taken on a human form to help assist him as he performs his duties as a Spirit Detective.

News reports are pouring in about kids around the city falling into comas, and Botan and Yusuke know Gouki is the one behind it all. Yusuke expresses a deep desire to save the kids, especially since a soul cannot pass on to the afterlife if it’s consumed by a demon. Yusuke must face Gouki once more, but this time he has his fully powered Spirit Gun. Problem is, Gouki’s skin is like armor and the Spirit Gun will likely not be enough to pierce it.

Round two starts, and Gouki starts whupping Yusuke once more. He’s being beaten to a pulp when Botan shows up with a large piece of wood to help stave him off, but it’s obviously not enough to do any real damage. However, it does give Yusuke the opening he needs to shove a piece of the wood into Gouki’s mouth, forcing his jaws open. His skin may be armored and protected against his Spirit Gun, but his insides aren’t so lucky. With one good shot to the mouth, Gouki is defeated.

Yusuke has successfully retrieved one of the demon artifacts, but he still has two more to go.

As Yusuke hobbles through town wondering how he’ll be able to handle another demon challenge, the holder of the Forlorn Hope, Kurama, approaches Yusuke. He claims he doesn’t want to fight and will even give Yusuke the item willingly if he meets him in three days. While Yusuke is actually trusting of Kurama, Botan is suspicious. The Forlorn Hope’s power is to grant the user any wish in exchange for ‘something’ and it only works on full moon nights, which is three days from now, meaning the only reason he’ll seemingly give over the item is because he’ll have used it by then.

Still, Yusuke waits and meets up with Kurama at the hospital. Turns out, Kurama lives a rather human life with a human mother that he cares for deeply. However, she’s deathly ill. Kurama was originally a spirit fox who slowly developed demon powers as he lived throughout the centuries. He eventually used his keen intellect to become a thief who most enjoyed solving puzzles and codes to open locks to sacred items.

One day, he was badly wounded by a pursuer during one of his jobs. In spirit form, Kurama sought out an unborn child within a woman and merged with it, becoming the ‘human’ Shuichi. He decided to lay low for a while as his spirit energy recovered, but human life and human feelings eventually got in the way.

His father died when he was young, and his mother fell very ill. Even though Kurama was at full strength and could leave whenever he pleased, he found that he was too attached to his mother to abandon her like that, especially after all the hardships she went through raising him as a child.

As he said before, he is willing to give up the Forlorn Hope immediately once his greatest desire – his mother’s life being saved – has been granted.

However, there’s a hitch. The Forlorn Hope’s price is the user’s life. Kurama is more than willing to give up his life for his mother, especially once she takes a massive turn for the worst.

Under the light of the full moon, Kurama calls upon the Forlorn Hope’s powers, but Yusuke suddenly intervenes – not to stop him, but to sacrifice his life in Kurama’s stead. He’s already seen one mother grieve the loss of her son and he doesn’t want to see that happen to another. In a brilliant light, the Forlorn Hope grants the wish.

Kurama gets up and rushes to his mother, who is miraculously in much better condition and on the road to recovery. Yusuke is collapsed on the ground, much to a tearful Botan’s dismay, but Yusuke soon gets up, realizing he was being a little silly considering his mother would have been grieving again if he died then.

The Forlorn Hope reveals that it granted the wish without taking a life since Yusuke made such selfless sacrifice.

Yusuke now has the Forlorn Hope and the Orb of Baast, but time’s running out. One last artifact to go – the Shadow Sword, and the three-eyed fire apparition, Hiei, won’t be giving it up so easily.

Breakdown: Since this is another episode that might as well be in two parts, let’s separate them again, shall we?

Side A (Gouki):

The conclusion to Yusuke’s first actual battle against a demon is very well done. He realistically gets his ass whupped only to be saved in the nick of time by Botan. Granted, I think it was a little unrealistic for Gouki to get scared away by Botan’s trick, but it’s not a big issue.

Round two was also well done. Considering Yusuke starts off the fight getting his ass handed to him again and not even the Spirit Gun seems to be a worthwhile effort makes the entire fight very tense. I liked that, again, Botan’s help allowed him to get the opening he needed to win the match. Botan becomes less active as time goes on, but she really doesn’t get enough credit.

Something else I appreciated about this episode was repeatedly showing Yusuke with his mom. I may have a lot of problems with Atsuko, but this episode really showed her better side. She was crying and worried sick when Yusuke was brought home unconscious and beaten again, and she was extremely nice to both him and Botan, even making them tea and snacks. That’s quite the changeup from the mom we saw in the first episode who basically acted like she didn’t care at all about Yusuke.

Not only is this genuinely nice to see, but it fits in perfectly in the second part of the episode where Yusuke remembers his mom’s grief and sacrifices his life for a complete stranger just so that same thing won’t happen to someone else….even if he does realize way too late that his own mother would’ve suffered a second time if Yusuke died right then.

All in all, a great team effort with some awesome moments, even if Gouki was, ultimately, a very forgettable enemy.

Side B (Kurama):

…….KURAMA’S HERE!!

Ku-ra-ma! Ku-ra-ma! Ku-ra-ma! Ku-ra-ma! Ku-ra-ma! Ku-ra-ma!

Kurama has a very interesting backstory, and his conversation with Yusuke on the roof in the red light of the sunset has always been very memorable to me. He barely knows Yusuke, and vice versa, yet both of them trust each other enough to have this meeting in the first place and have such a deep conversation. Likewise, as I mentioned, Yusuke is willing to sacrifice his life for Kurama’s even though he’s basically a stranger and a demon because he didn’t want to see his mother suffer and knew he was being genuine and selfless. Say what you will about Yusuke’s general demeanor, he can be a prince sometimes.

The fact that Kurama’s mom happened to be on death’s door that very night was insanely conveniently dramatic, but it’s not as bad as Yusuke’s resurrection.

I also thought it was sweet that Botan started crying a little when she thought Yusuke was dead again. Although I still have to ding Koenma for his shitty management practices. All Botan knew about the Forlorn Hope was that it grants the user’s deepest desire for a price that no one seems to know, but Koenma knew and he didn’t bother telling Botan, his most trusted advisor, until Yusuke was already meeting with the demon that had it. I’m not going to give him major points off since the item itself makes the price clear (which is probably why most people don’t know of the price – if you use it, you die.) but still, Koenma, give your employees all the vital information they need to fix your stupid mistake.

Not that any of it matters anyway. That moon is so insanely massive that we’re all certain to die in mere minutes from the catastrophe it will wreak for being so close to earth.

I will say that the Forlorn Hope is a very confusing and seemingly useless DEMON artifact, because it appears like it’s only useful in situations where you have a completely selfless wish.

If the user has to give their life to get their deepest desire, then there is literally no point in using it unless their wish is selfless. If you want to rule the world, find love, be ungodly rich, etc. one of the common desires of humans or demons, then you literally won’t live to enjoy your wish being granted. It’s especially funny to think about if your wish is immortality because it’s clear the price is paid and then your wish is granted.

To anyone suggesting that normal demons might just use the good ol’ fashioned human sacrifice method, it really seems like they can’t. The Forlorn Hope straight up asks the user if THEY’LL sacrifice THEIR life for their wish. Even if a sacrifice could be used, it seems that the person needs to agree to the terms in order for the deal to be complete, and I sincerely doubt anyone would do that.

I guess their could be some cases where the user would want something so badly that, even with death as the price, they’d still want it to happen. For instance, they might want to avenge a loved one or destroy the universe or something, but in the vast majority of cases I can guarantee that it’d be passed over.

This brings us to the other point about the Forlorn Hope….why was it impressed by Yusuke’s sacrifice so much that it made the wish free of charge? Yes, Yusuke’s sacrifice was indeed noble, albeit a little stupid given his reasoning, but if the Forlorn Hope only logically works in the case of selfless desires, for the most part, then why is Yusuke’s sacrifice so impressive to it? Is it just because he was being even more selfless for sacrificing himself for someone else’s deepest desires and life?

The Forlorn Hope is so accommodating and reasonable that it really doesn’t fit as an “Artifact of Darkness” among an orb that steals souls and the sword that can turn humans into demons.

Overall, a really great episode. Unlike Yusuke’s Back, I didn’t feel like this episode was just two episodes smushed together. There were two largely different stories and tones, but they melded with each other a lot better than Yusuke’s Back, and other than some weirdness involving the logic of the Forlorn Hope, which is really more nitpicking and speculation, I didn’t really have any complaints.

It sure is terrible that no one will read this post due to the deadly natural disasters caused by the moon not practicing social distancing with the earth, though.

Next time, Yusuke faces his biggest challenge yet – fighting everyone’s favorite three-eyed not-Vegeta, Hiei!

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SSBS – Saint Seiya Episode 4: Dragon! The Invincible Fist and Shield Review

Plot: Seiya’s next match is against the owner of the Dragon Cloth – Shiryu. With the power of the strongest shield and fist, he’s certainly a fierce opponent, but no matter how badly he gets beaten, Seiya keeps getting back up. Shiryu gets news in the middle of his fight that his beloved master is terribly ill. Shiryu wants to see him as soon as possible, but he can’t forfeit the match and face his master in shame. Neither will Seiya give in and give up his only chance to find his sister. But how can one beat a warrior who boasts having both the strongest attack and the strongest shield?

Breakdown: This episode was very intense from start to finish. Before we’re even five minutes in, Seiya is laid out flat on the canvas and is bleeding heavily from his mouth. It really looks as if he’s been defeated, but Seiya just won’t stay down, which really makes me question how long exactly a fighter is allowed to stay down without being counted out. There are about three times in this episode where Seiya is laid out motionless on the floor of the ring for extended periods of time, and yet no one calls the match. One instance even really seemed like Seiya was dead. He was completely unconscious in a pool of his own blood, but no one was calling it. Is there some main character clause in the tournament rules?

Shiryu’s backstory is short but sweet. He loves his smurf/elf fusion-esque master as a father. His master taught him everything he knows and gave him the courage and strength to reverse the flow of a waterfall with his power to prove himself worthy of the Dragon Cloth. He’s currently very ill, however, and Shiryu is desperate to go see him. However, Seiya won’t stay down, and no one will call the damn match, so he can’t leave.

Shiryu really proves to be an impressive powerhouse. He was always one of my favorite characters in the show. He has an extremely strong defense in his, admittedly small, shield, and an extremely powerful offense in his fist. His punch is so strong, in fact, that it manages to shatter the armor on Seiya’s left arm in just one hit, badly wounding his forearm and getting him in the face at the same time.

I will say, if there’s one thing I was disappointed in, it was how Seiya managed to break the shield and stop Seiryu’s fist. His strategy was based on the Spear-Shield Paradox – a Chinese story of a man who tried to sell the world’s strongest shield, that could stop any spear, and the world’s strongest spear, that could pierce any shield. When a customer asked what would happen should the shield and spear collide, the seller gave no answer. Instead of this being a paradox, however, the solution given in the show is that they destroy each other. That is one of the theories, but they act like that’s the definitive answer when it’s not. Hence why it’s a very famous paradox. Seiya basically risked his life on a complete gamble.

And when I say he risked his life, I mean this crazy bastard literally went at Shiryu face first. His plan was to go at him face first so Shiryu would guard with his shield, punch with his fist and wind up missing Seiya and hitting the shield, which would destroy both. His plan relied on 1) The shield and fist both breaking instead of just canceling each other out or something. 2) Shiryu not preparing for such an attack, which he did, delivering what would have been a fatal blow to Seiya’s head with his shield if not for Seiya’s helmet, 3) Shiryu trying to also punch him after delivering this terrible blow, which, honestly, would be overkill in that moment (It really looked like’s Seiya’s head was crushed after that. It was very bad). And 4) Shiryu missing Seiya’s head and hitting his shield/Shiryu not putting his shield down after hitting Seiya.

So many dominoes had to be fall in such a precise manner that it’s insane the events actually unfolded as they did.

What’s even more frustrating is that Seiya was horrifically injured after this. Like I said, he was lying in a pool of his own blood unconscious on the ground, clearly suffering from a terrible head injury, and yet they were almost acting as if the match might end in a stalemate because Shiryu’s shield was broken and his fist was injured. But he was standing and was completely uninjured besides that. Count out the half-dead horse.

But of course they don’t. He somehow manages to get back up, both of them shed their armor and they prepare to take each other on bare-fisted. Seiya’s resilience is one thing, but he really doesn’t seem all that wounded when they restart their fight in the end. He had a bad stomach/chest wound that nearly knocked him out at the start. He had an arm injury, hit in the head a couple times and then that skull-shattering blow he just took. And yet he looks relatively fine.

I get it, it’s willpower, that’s great, and I’m not rooting for Seiya to lose or die, but I’m just saying that my suspension of disbelief is being spread awful thin here, to the point where I really feel like he’s just milking his main character status. If he didn’t absolutely need to win this tournament and wasn’t the main character, he’d totally be out by now, if not by knockout surely by just dying.

I worry that, should Shiryu lose in the next episode, it might be by more BS. I don’t doubt the match will be great, but I figure Seiya has to win, and I can’t see how he’d win without pulling something out of his ass.

All in all, this was a fantastic episode just with one glaring point of BS with him breaking the shield and fist, and a little less glaring with him not being counted out. He had to have spent well over an accumulative five minutes on the floor, most of them unconscious, and yet no one called it.

Next time, Seiya’s match with Shiryu concludes. Can the pegasus find a way to beat the dragon?

…..Previous Episode

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SSBS – Megaman NT Warrior | Episode 5: Robotic Fish Gone Wild Review

Plot: Lan, Yai, Maylu and Dex are recruited by the tech-hating/fish-lovin’ Maysa to get out and do physical activities instead of staying inside playing with their NetNavis all day. When WWW causes more havoc in the city by unleashing all of the fish from a robotic aquarium, the kids will have to utilize what they’ve learned about fish by Maysa to fight them.

Breakdown: Today’s episode starts with Maysa, the fish salesman, bursting into the kids’ fancy treehouse base as they fight their NetNavis. Maysa hates technology and NetNavis, so he demands that the kids do as he did as a kid and go out and play.

Now you may be wondering why they’re listening to a man none of them are related to and has no actual authority over them.

Well…

Dex: “Tell me. Why are we doing this, Lan?”

Lan: “Don’t make Maysa mad. Otherwise, he’ll throw fish at me again.”

Pretty sure you can have him arrested for that. Or just….go home?

Maysa makes them all run, even though they all cheat by using rollerblades, skateboards and scooters. Then he makes them do push-ups, climb a tree 100 times, swim 100 laps, then he hits tons of baseballs at the kids, demanding they try to catch them, which is beyond unsafe. They’re literally weathering a hail of baseballs being shot at them at like 40mph.

I’m sorry. I thought you just wanted them to go outside and play. Why are you training them like they’re soldiers heading off to war tomorrow?

As this all goes on, WWW gathers for their next big chaotic plan – letting all of the robotic fish at a local robo-fish aquarium out and cause chaos in the streets. I actually think the idea of a robo-fish aquarium is pretty cool. Designing fish that look and move exactly like the fish they’re emulating while also avoiding capturing and potentially harming real fish is awesome, although I can imagine it’s not the same thing as actually seeing the real fish. Robots are really cool, I love them a lot, but I don’t think robots would be able to adequately replace the experience of seeing the real thing.

WWW creates a bunch of jellyfish virus things, which turn the floor of a virtual space all wavy and watery, and they let out all of the fish.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Letting all of these robo-fish out would probably do nothing, right? Because they’re…ya know….fish? That can’t travel on land.

Well, these robo-fish can FLY……….for some reason. They just float around in the air like it’s water somehow. They were in water in the aquarium so I have no idea why these robo-fish are all designed to float in the air. There’s no need for such a function.

As the kids finally rest after being run like dogs, Maysa takes the opportunity to teach the kids some ‘fun fish facts’ which means the info being conveyed here is bound to be brought back up when they fight the robo-fish.

The first fish fact is that red sea bream have different colors depending on if they’re wild or farm-raised. Wild sea bream will be lighter/brighter red, and farm-raised sea bream will be darker because they’re raised in more shallow water, causing them to get sun burned.

Now, believe it or not, in some conditions, including being in shallow clear water, fish can get sun burned. However, this is not the cause of the farm-raised red sea bream’s darker color (the reason for that is unknown) and sunburning actually causes the skin of fish to turn whitish in color, not red. In fact, when fish get so much sun exposure that they end up sun burned, it’s a pretty horrific deal.

Most fish have a naturally occurring substance in their body called gadusol, which gives them great protection from UV rays, but it’s not foolproof. Just like with regular sunscreen, if the exposure is extreme enough and long enough, they’ll wind up getting burned.

The sunburns of fish involve the development of terrible sores which leave muscle tissue and cartilage exposed. Fish can suffer from kidney damage and even die if their sunburns get severe enough.

Dex: “No kidding! That’s pretty cool!” A fish having a perpetual sunburn is cool, Dex?

Maylu: “Yeah, I never knew that!” I’m sure your knowledge pool of red sea bream was so deep, too, Maylu….

Next, he explains that longfin tuna or albacore are called as such because of their long pectoral fins. This is correct.

Lan complains about how boring all of this is and asks Megaman if he can get him out of this, but Megaman refuses and says the fish facts might prove helpful. In any other situation, no….none of this information would be helpful or necessary in the slightest, but because of the obvious set up, we know they’ll reincorporate these “facts” in the final battle.

Maysa then states that jellyfish are 90% water, which is also a little inaccurate. They’re more like 95% water.

The robo-fish arrive, and Lan and Yai jack in Megaman and Glide to the location to figure out what’s going on before running away from the attacking fish.

Maysa slices a goddamn robo-bluefin tuna right down the middle with a normal filet knife, which…yeah okay.

Maysa: “That bluefin tuna weighed 350 pounds!” First of all, it was a robot not a real bluefin tuna. Second, even if it was a real bluefin, how can you tell the weight by merely looking at it? Finally, adult bluefin tuna weigh between 500-550 pounds, so why are you acting like this one, if it is the weight you claim, is some giant? As a robot, it should actually weigh more than a natural one would.

Megaman and Glide reach the aquarium’s server and discover the new watery area inhabited by Sharkman.

Under the water lies the viral jellyfish. Megaman’s outnumbered and can’t do much without a BattleChip, but Lan is too busy running from the robo-fish, specifically a shark, to upload one. Suddenly, Maysa has an idea. He tells everyone to stop running and stand really still. They do so, and the shark just floats on by.

According to Maysa, sharks are attracted by activity, so if you stop moving they’ll just avoid you.

No….that’s not right.

It’s true that movement has been known to prompt some shark attacks, but for the most part people typically get attacked by sharks for looking too similar to seals (in silhouette) and hanging around bait fish, which is why a lot of shark attacks happen while people are sitting on surfboards or lying on boogie boards. Attacks commonly do happen when a person is basically still, just hanging out in the water.

However, most importantly, sharks don’t hunt humans. There are instances where sharks will attack completely unprovoked, but they almost always try to avoid people. The odds of a shark chasing down a group of people like this is slim.

Not to mention that he’s acting as if movement is either the trigger for the predatory sense and removing it will make them docile or that they have some sort of t-rex-esque ‘their vision is based on movement’ thing, which is also very wrong both for sharks and t-rexes.

The most damning thing about this whole scene is, even if what he said was true, he’s assuming the robo-shark will work exactly like a real shark and not pursue them anymore when they stand still. That might make some sense, but still be very risky, considering they do seem to be designed to emulate the fish as much as possible….except, ya know…..the flying thing. If they were truly designed with as much tech as possible to emulate their respective fish perfectly, there’s no way they’d be floating in the air right now. In fact, there’s no way they’d be functional because they wouldn’t be able to breathe outside of water.

Lan: “And here I thought fish facts were stupid!” His fish “facts” are kinda stupid, Lan, so…yeah.

Maysa: “Having a PhD in fishology finally paid off!” This is likely a joke, I think anyway, but the study of fish is ichthyology.

The shark comes back and chases them all again because Maysa was being so loud. I thought it was movement, not sound, that attracts them, Maysa.

Back in the virtual space, Megaman continues to have difficulties fighting off the jellyfish because the water is slowing down his response systems. Megaman jumps out of the water and back to land again to escape the jellyfish. However, he’s not safe. The jellyfish all merge to create one giant jellyfish virus and float out of the water.

In the real world, Lan and the others are cornered in an alleyway by the shark, and despite the loud yelling being what attracted the shark before, supposedly, Lan and Dex keep yelling because Lan is frustrated that he needs to leave to jack in and help Megaman but he’s trapped.

Seeing how much Lan cares for Megaman, Maysa offers to be a decoy for the shark so Lan can escape and help Megaman. Ya know, if the shark really does act like a shark, maybe try punching it in the gills or nose a few times and poke its eyes.

Despite their concerns, Maysa runs off, the shark follows and the kids head to the robot aquarium to make a direct link to the server. When they arrive, they’re confronted by a kickass robo-squid. The squid actually looks bigger than the aquarium so where the heck was this thing stored?

Lan knows he doesn’t have time to hesitate, though, so he just maneuvers his way under the squid’s tentacles and enters the robot aquarium.

He connects to the mainframe and uses his Cyber Sword BattleChip. Megaman slashes up the jellyfish, but it quickly repairs the damage and even grows larger.

So, uh, Glide….you wanna, uh,…..do anything at some point? Glide has literally just stood in one spot this entire time. Why is he even here?

The jellyfish creates a tidal wave that crashes over Megaman and Glide. Lan only has two BattleChips left – neither of which can help him in this situation. Suddenly, something whizzes by Lan’s face. On the wall next to him, he sees a metal fish skeleton embedded in the wall with a new BattleChip hanging from it – the Electro Sword. Points to whomever saw electricity being the key to beating the 95% water jellyfish virus the instant they mentioned that fact. Fewer points if you knew that mostly because of Pokemon.

Maysa totally threw that, by the way. There’s no one else it could possibly be.

Also, this isn’t technically Lan learning any lesson. If he saw a new BattleChip being gifted to him specifically and none of his other BattleChips were useful, of course he’d use it to try and beat the jellyfish.

Despite being able to easily hit the jellyfish before, it’s too fast for the electrified Megaman to hit now….for some reason. Sharkman comes up and attacks the jellyfish…..oh….Sharkman is Maysa’s NetNavi isn’t he? I bet you anything he is.

This feels a lot like Coach Mountain from Medabots who acted like he vehemently hated Medabots and wanted his students to stop spending time with them, but then it’s revealed that he has his own Medabot and actually participates in robattles and he’s a big hypocrite.

Megaman has his opening to strike, so he does, electrifying the jellyfish and deleting it.

Glide: “Well done, Megaman! Excellently executed!” Yes, and you did a great job being a useless tin can, Glide. Seriously, why was Glide even here? I swear he never moved a muscle.

Sharkman introduces himself to Megaman, claiming he wanted to do this on his own but Megaman’s help was welcome. Despite acting like an enemy, he asserts himself as an ally before taking his leave.

Megaman: “Sharkman? I thought he was just a legend.” Really? What’s so special about him?

Lan reunites with the others, giving full credit on his win to Maysa for teaching him about jellyfish. He looks at the fish skeleton thing in his hands and wonders where it came from. I wonder that too because Maysa is nowhere near Lan. Even if Maysa had someone else give Lan that BattleChip, who could it have been and how? Lan was in a tiny cramped control room and no one else was around.

Cut to Maysa who is standing on top of a tower with the robo-shark impaled on the top pole. What the frick? What happened there? I want to see that battle not Pikachu vs. Tentacruel.

Also, despite them not fully revealing it in this episode, I totally called it, Sharkman was Maysa’s NetNavi. Reading up a bit more on him, I guess he’s not the same hypocrite that Coach Mountain was and his seemingly anti-NetNavi ways are more of a cover, but if that’s true why did he get so worked up about physically training Lan and the others? Shouldn’t he be happy that they’re spending so much time battling their NetNavis?

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Even though it was kinda cool to see the robot fish, particularly the squid, and Sharkman’s really cool-looking, the episode as a whole was just dumb and pointless. The fish “facts” they learned weren’t actual facts most of the time, the ones that were facts were inaccurate on the details, and the aspect of robo-fish escaping an aquarium and flying all over town tormenting people is just silly. Not as silly as having the main conflict of an episode being getting a little girl to the potty so she can go tinkle in time, but still.

If I seemed nitpicky about the fish facts it’s only because the episode as a whole relied on them. If you’re going to center an episode about fish facts, then maybe check to see if the fish facts are actual facts. It annoys me so much when kids shows act like they’re being educational but they’re really being half-assed about actually teaching anything. Granted, it’s not like this information would ever be useful in real life, but you should still give an effort to actually teach kids something. Teaching is pointless if the information isn’t accurate.

The stuff about the shark might actually be kinda dangerous. The odds of a kid coming into contact with a shark are extremely low, but if they learned from this show they’d think their best course of action during an attack would be to keep very still and quiet, which may very well get them killed.

I still don’t understand why we dedicated so much time to having the kids do all of that physical training. It never benefited them. It was a huge waste of time. The episode should have been Maysa pestering them to learn about fish for whatever reason the entire time. It is good to teach kids that they should put their devices down every once in a while and go out to get some sunshine and exercise, but if you’re going to make that seem like hellish work with no payoff then you’re giving off mixed signals.

Next time, apparently the next episode is one they skipped and instead we’re getting one about hypnosis and MagicMan.

….Previous Episode

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SSBS – Medabots Episode 5: The Old Man and the Sea Monster Review

Plot: On a trip to the beach, Ikki and Metabee face off against a bunch of jerks who want them off their beach. Meanwhile, there’s a sea monster looming in the shadows.

Medabot Debuts:

Sharkkan: A SAK Medabot, Sharkkan’s design is based off of a shark. Sharkkan is an aquatic Medabot that can move very swiftly in the water. It also has arms in the shape of shark jaws.

Tentaclam: A CLA type, Tentaclam is based off of an octopus. Like Sharkkan, it is an aquatic Medabot that can move easily in the water. Tentaclam has two pincers on the ends of its arms that can be detached, shot off and latched onto nearby objects before being pulled in by cables.

Robattles:

Ryan vs. Ikki: Winner – Ryan (Metabee surrendered his legs.)

Ryan vs. Ikki (Rematch): Winner – Ikki (Metabee earned his legs back.)

Breakdown: Ikki, Metabee, Erika and…..I’m gonna be honest – I don’t know who the frick this guy is. It has been a hot minute since I last picked up Medabots, but I legitimately can’t remember who this person is, they never say his name in this episode, and, for the life of me, I can’t find a way to Google who this is. No one seems to match his description in the Wiki’s character list. He’s an adult, I guess, and that’s all you need to know.

Anyway, they’re all taking a quaint trip to the beach. The adult dude falls asleep while the kids head off to swim. Metabee has a scuba mask on for some inexplicable reason.

Metabee: “Swan dive!” That was not, in any way, a swan dive. You might as well have just stepped off the ledge.

When Metabee dives in, he freaks out when he realizes the water is salt water, which will make him rust. How’d he know the water was salt water? Why did Ikki take his Medabot to the beach when he can neither swim nor tolerate salt water?

By the way, does anyone want to tell him that all water makes metal rust? Salt just speeds up the process.

Ikki: “Oh come on. Medabots don’t rust that fast.” Still a shitty way to care for your Medabot. Ya know, the one you couldn’t afford in the first place.

Metabee sulks on the beach after Ikki tells him to just leave the water if he’s going to be crabby.

Metabee: “Ugh, I can’t believe Ikki let me go into the water. Me plus water equals rust. Rust plus me equals me getting ripped up the gill, ya know what I’m sayin’? GegegegegeGEKOW!”

No, Metabee, I don’t know what you’re saying. But I am about to research whether robots can have strokes.

First of all, now you’re just saying it was the water, not salt water, that you’re averse to. And you’re also mad at Ikki for “letting” you go into the water because water makes you rust…..Kinda makes you seem like an idiot if you knew water makes you rust but you went in the water anyway. At least when the salt was the reason you could make the argument that you didn’t know ocean water was salt water and Ikki should have told you.

Additionally, it’s a bit ironic that you’re mad about him ‘letting’ you do that when you were just adamant a minute ago about not being his to control.

Second of all, what in the glitchy matrix just happened to you near the end there? I can’t even tell if I accurately transcribed the last words before the gibberish correctly, but then you go off and spout random noises like someone was electrocuting your ass.

Three beach brats come over and start bullying Metabee, even poking him repeatedly in the head with sticks. Ikki arrives, and he seemingly gets angry with Metabee for some reason? Once they have a little spat, Ikki tells the jerks to go away, but they’re locals so, like a beach movie set in 1954, they tell him to leave their beach because strangers aren’t welcome.

They then reveal that the local sea monster also hates strangers.

Later, at a restaurant, Ikki asks the owner if she knows about the sea monster. She noticeably gets very nervous and tries to avoid the question. Erika says, if there is a monster, they should investigate. The owner tries to warn them to stay away from the rocks of the beach when a bunch of people run by the restaurant screaming. They claim to have seen the monster, but none of them can agree upon what it looked like.

Ikki and Erika head to the beach to investigate only to find that it’s entirely abandoned due to sea monster sightings……Uh, yeah, calling it right now, this is some Scooby-Doo bullshit right here.

Also, the entire beach was cleared out because of sea monster sightings? No skeptics, no people who think they’d be safe on the sand, no people with Medabots who might try to fight it – just a couple of tweenagers and their Medabot?

Erika is psyched about figuring out the scoop behind this sea monster, but Ikki couldn’t care less.

They spot a mysterious old man sitting quietly on a rock playing a shamisen by the water. Metabee tries to talk with him, but he only gets a few words out of the old man.

His Medabot, Tentaclam, arrives and catches a huge net full of fish. They then walk off together.

The three jerks arrive wondering why Ikki, Erika and Metabee haven’t left yet. Blah blah blah, the leader, Ryan, challenges Ikki to a robattle.

Ikki boasts that he and Metabee have never lost a robattle…..so yeah, now that he said that he’s totally going to lose.

Ryan’s Medabot is Sharkkan, and he immediately heads into the water. Metabee tries to follow by boat, but his bullets can’t hit Sharkkan underwater. Suddenly, Metabee gets very dizzy and nauseous. He’s so sea sick that he has to forfeit the match, surrendering his legs to Ryan.

Yes, you read that right. Metabee, the undefeated Medabot, lost his first match…..because he got sea sick.

Metabee, the ROBOT, lost because he got sea sick.

Metabee, the robot without a stomach and balance sensory systems/perception systems that don’t work in any way like a human’s would……got his first loss, via forfeit no less….by getting sea sick.

This is monumentally dumb.

At sunset, Ikki and Metabee lament their loss – Metabee wearing a goofy pair of spare legs that I think he got from Banisher.

Ikki: “He knew Metabee couldn’t swim, so he tricked him into a water robattle. Seems like cheating.” Uhm, shut your stupid lying mouth, Ikki.

Metabee didn’t even try to swim, so you’re already wrong there. Ryan didn’t trick HIM into anything. He and his goons just egged you on a bit, and YOU accepted a challenge for a robattle. Finally, using an aquatic Medabot in the water is just using the Medabot the way it was intended to be used. If anything, it was quite even. If he used his aquatic Medabot on land, he’d have a major disadvantage, but Metabee would have a huge advantage. If you had just said ‘Metabee don’t go in the water.’ then either the robattle would end in a stalemate because neither party would choose to leave their respective areas, or Skarkkan would leave the water because he was sick of waiting.

Basically, both of you are idiots, but Metabee’s less of an idiot because….

Metabee: “Nah, that’s just good strategy. He just won it fair and square.”

Of course, he loses some points with his next line.

Metabee: “Urgh, I’d love a rematch, but where am I going to learn how to swim?” I thought you plus water equaled rust and you didn’t want rust? Now you want to swim?

But again, just DON’T GO IN THE WATER. Even if he learned how to swim, he’d still be at a major advantage because Sharkkan’s a full aquatic Medabot with parts and weaponry designed for water robattles. Why give him that?

Ikki and Metabee have a brain blast, so they head to see the old man. They beg him for help in getting Metabee ready for water robattling. The old man loans him some spare legs from his Tentaclam. And, of course, Ikki and Metabee being the way they are, they bitch about the free shit they’re getting.

Metabee: “They’re so old.”

Ikki: “Do they even still work?” No, Ikki, he gave you non-working garbage because he’s trolling you.

Metabee jumps in the water, but he soon capsizes. Seems like just getting aquatic legs isn’t enough for him to function properly in the water, which makes sense. After all, the rest of him isn’t designed to be in the water.

They beg him to teach them how to deal with sea combat, and yeah whatever – what time is it?

The sun is going down quite a bit. Where is adult dude, and why are you guys not heading home yet? Your parents obviously aren’t here, you took a bus, and I can’t imagine that they approved of you guys staying at the beach overnight.

We then get a training montage of them doing a bunch of Karate Kid-esque chores for the old man. This montage clearly takes place over several days because we see more sunsets and implications of mornings. Again, where is adult dude and why are you guys not home right now? Are you missing school for this?

After the training montage, Ikki and Metabee collapse in the sand begging for water. Why is Metabee, the robot, asking for water?

The dog that’s with them, I forget to whom it belongs, brings them water bottles that look oddly like baby bottles. Ikki chugs his water and Metabee pours his on his head….because the Medabot who hated water at the beginning of this episode has suddenly decided that pouring it all over his head is the best thing ever.

Ikki and Metabee hear Erika screaming in terror of the sea monster. However, the ‘sea monster’ trips, and reveals that it was just the three Medabots owned by the beach jerks covered in seaweed. They made up the stuff about the sea monster to keep tourists off the beach. Yup. Scooby-Doo’d.

Also, I weep for humanity if literally everyone was scared to death of this thing.

Ikki and Ryan start a rematch. Metabee uses his Tentaclam legs, but this time he’s able to stand upright as the legs help him float on the surface. His training was meant to improve his sense of balance so he could stand on water, which…okay, but that solves literally no problems they were having. Metabee already had a boat, which allowed him to float on top of the water, soooooooooooooooooo…..???

Also, I don’t think that simply not being in a boat would prevent you from getting sea sick while floating on water, so what happened to that problem?

Whatever, Metabee still has problems fighting Sharkkan because he can move super quickly in the water and Metabee’s shots can’t hit him. Moreover, Sharkkan is now taking the offensive by hitting Metabee with torpedoes and leaping out of the water to strike at him directly.

Ikki is incredibly frustrated because he has no idea what to do to gain the upperhand. Metabee can now float on the water without issue, but he still can’t swim, giving Sharkkan a huge advantage. The old man reveals that the secret to this fight is in Sharkkan’s shark design. It gives off a warning before it strikes, and Ikki deduces that he means the dorsal fin peaking out over the surface before it strikes.

…Well…uh…duh. How did you not notice that before now? It’s the most signature thing about sharks. You show a dorsal fin sticking out of the water, people instantly think ‘shark.’ How are you this slow, Ikki?

The next time Sharkkan strikes, Ikki notices where he is via the dorsal fin, warns Metabee that Sharkkan’s behind him and Metabee is able to get a direct hit with his guns when Sharkkan comes out of the water.

Sharkkan is defeated, and Metabee gets his legs back.

At sunset, because they’ll apparently never go home, Ryan explains that his dad taught him that tourists are bad because they pollute the beach with their trash and they ruin the environment, so they decided to bully and scare every tourist away from the beach with their makeshift sea monster.

I guess this was supposed to be foreshadowed when Metabee threw his scuba mask on the sand, because that’s when they first met the beach jerks. It was also shown that the beach was filthy when the beachgoers were scared off, but they never draw attention to the littering. I had to go back and rewatch sections just to see if this out-of-nowhere PSA had some build up to it because it was never brought to the audience’s attention through dialogue.

Also, you’re kinda terrifying the locals too, if that restaurant owner was any indication. Unless she’s in on it.

Ryan and Ikki mend bridges, and the old man bids Ikki and Metabee farewell. He allows them to keep the Tentaclam legs as long as they always remember to respect the sea.

Our final shot is of adult guy still asleep on the beach, now horribly sunburned. Uh, can we get an ambulance? Because this guy has clearly been asleep for about a week, and he probably has third degree burns by now.

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It’s at this point in the show when you really have to accept that this series is just plain bad. And it’s not only bad – it’s lazy. It’s probably one of the laziest series I’ve ever watched. Everything about it is just the bare minimum they can do without paying an iota of attention to the question “Does this make sense?”

One of the most basic things you can do when writing a story is establish a conflict, work out a resolution and resolve it. But this show can’t even do that correctly. I am still confused as to what Metabee’s actual problem was. First it was saltwater, then it was just water, then it was that he gets sea sick, then it was that he can’t swim, then it was that he couldn’t work the Tentaclam legs correctly.

The solution to any one of those problems was just to teach Metabee better balance so that he can stay on the water’s surface, but that doesn’t make any sense. He’s a robot. If he has balance issues, it’s either because of his design or his programming. You can’t really teach a robot balance. Not to mention that, while some of the chores the old man had them doing could be considered training in balance, like pulling the old man while they’re on stilts, most of it had nothing to do with balance.

He had them carrying wood, pushing one of those giant wooden crank things, blowing air onto a fire, carrying him on a giant rock up a mountain, giving him a frickin’ massage, which was just plain creepy.

A lot of shows do this, where they reference The Karate Kid’s training sequence of seemingly doing random chores only to show that it actually had practical applications in the student’s journey, but then a lot of them screw it up by not actually coming up with ways these chores applied to their practice. This is one of the worst examples.

It’s even more pointless because Metabee balancing on top of the water didn’t even do much. He could have defeated Sharkkan this way in the boat. All he needed to know was that you can detect Sharkkan via his dorsal fin. And Ikki didn’t even figure that part out on his own – he had to have the old man practically spell it out for him.

I will give this episode this much – there were quite a few funny expressions and even some funny lines. And I will never get tired of Ikki’s voice actor’s complete inability to scream in a believable manner. Just the terrible voice acting as a whole, honestly. I have a feeling this series was mostly a ‘Thank god, a paycheck.’ job for most of the voice actors. I don’t blame them for barely putting in any effort. Why do that when the series itself doesn’t? It makes for some funny moments anyway. That’s why I keep enjoying watching Medabots. It’s lazy, silly and stupid, but it has a lot of fun and ridiculousness to keep me entertained most of the time. Even if I’m just preoccupied trying to do the mental gymnastics around their writing choices, I tend to enjoy myself.

Plus, I do really like the designs of Tentaclam and Sharkkan. I wish we had seen the other jerks’ Medabots. We see them very, very briefly, but we never learn what they are, and the angles on them are so poor I can’t even remember what they looked like.

Next time, might as well keep in with the Scooby Doo-ness with some G-g-g-GHOSTS!

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