SSBS – Medabots Episode 4: The Legendary Medafighter

SSBS - Medabots Episode 4

Plot: Ikki and Erika head to a fancy school for rich kids in order to find the mysterious undefeated Legendary Medafighter.

Medabot Debuts:

Neutranurse: A NAS Medabot, Neutranurse is based on a nurse. It has massive healing capabilities and a Holy Wall ability that creates an impenetrable shield for a short while.

Sumilidon: An STG Medabot, Sumilidon is based on a saber-toothed tiger. Its right arm holds the flexor sword, which is a series of three long claws extending from its wrist. It can utilize this part to also create an attack called the Shadow Sword. Its left arm has a Straw Hammer attack. Finally, its head part creates traps.

Gloomeg: A GLM Medabot, Gloomeg is based on a stone statue and specializes in missiles.

Robattles:

Koji vs. Eddie: Winner – Koji: No parts are exchanged due to refusal.

Ikki vs. Koji: Interrupted – no winner.

Breakdown: Ikki is on his way to school when he’s suddenly ‘saved’ from an oncoming slow-moving tiny car by a girl named Karin. She goes to Rosewood Academy, a nearby private school for super rich kids. Ikki is initially annoyed by her, but when he gets up close to her, he finds himself smitten. However, she runs off before he can talk to her more.

Two things about this – One, why is that little car allowed on public roads? And two, does this show have cartoon physics or not? Because Ikki was just slammed so hard into that wall that he left a massive crater.

Back at school, Erika is telling the tale of the Legendary Medafighter and his undefeated Medabot. She also, for some reason, has red marks under her eyes. Given the scary story motif, I think they were gunning for shadows, but they’re clearly red. It looks like she’s either blushing too hard or got very specifically placed sunburns.

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Not much is known of this Legendary Medafighter except he supposedly goes to Rosewood Academy. Since Metabee is itching to fight the Legendary Medafighter and Ikki wants to see Karin again, he asks if he can go with Erika while she investigates the place for an expose.

Is Ikki now allowed to bring Metabee to school? Because he’s clearly right there in the open talking to other students. Last episode seemed to imply that Coach Mountain was still being super strict about not allowing Medabots on school grounds.

They arrive at Rosewood, where the gates to the school are massive and made of 24k gold. I get that this place is meant for the super rich, but you don’t have to be super gaudy too.

They see a kid being thrown out of the school for not being rich enough to attend, so they decide to disguise themselves as students to get in.

Oh excuse me, did I say they disguise themselves as students? I meant they dress up Metabee like an idiot and pretend he’s a student while Ikki and Erika try to walk in dressed in their street clothes with only a Rosewood backpack to indicate they’re students.

Where did they get this stuff? Is there a gift shop outside?

Believe it or not THAT. WORKS.

The guy only asks where Ikki and Erika’s uniforms are and they say they spilled caviar on them and the butler had to clean them for later.

Is school even in session right now? Because if it is, Ikki and Erika (as well as the Screws, because they’re following them) are skipping school.

The same trick doesn’t work for the Screws, who didn’t even get Rosewood backpacks (again, where did they get those?) but they do make the scene kinda funny by claiming they spilled caviar on their butler.

Back with Ikki and Erika, who have somehow switched out their backpacks for plain ones (Did they just get stickers or something? I am way too confused about the origins of this Rosewood stuff.)

So the school is actually way the hell away from the main gate. It’s through a dense forest, over numerous mountains and after that there’s a lake and the school is on an island in the middle of that lake.

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Obviously, it’s an insanely long walk for the kids to get to the school and they ask themselves how these hoity-toity rich kids get to school everyday since they can’t imagine they’d walk. A helicopter shows up, which you’d think would be the answer, but a person on a loudspeaker tells them to land because commuting by helicopter is against school rules.

It’s later revealed that they do drive and take horses and stuff to and from school, but then why have they not come across any when they’ve been following the road?

Then…..*sigh* Then they meet Eddie and his Gloomeg Medabot. He and Gloomeg have been trapped on Rosewood’s lands for two years, trying to find the Legendary Medafighter.

And yes.

That is as dumb as it sounds.

Two years?

TWO YEARS!?

How has this guy been lost in Rosewood’s property for two years and not ever have anyone find him? Especially when the property is covered in stuff like a golf course, tennis courts and a friggin’ amusement park? How do they not have cameras set up everywhere? Especially considering, as we learn upon meeting Eddie, that Rosewood’s property is littered in traps to keep intruders out. Do they not regularly check these traps? Because Eddie admits that he keeps getting caught in them. Did the girl from that Pokemon sanctuary Bulbasaur came from grow up to build these traps so she could continue her string of negligent homicide?

Not just that, but his parents have to be worried sick. Do Medabots not have some sort of tracking device or interface for communication?

A horsedrawn carriage arrives on scene because Ikki and Eddie are making a ruckus because Eddie thinks Ikki’s the Legendary Medafighter and wants to fight him. If that’s all it takes to get someone’s attention, there’s even less reason that Eddie is still lost in here. Unless he’s such a stubborn idiot that he’s never looked for a way out, in which case, I’ll just stop watching the episode altogether because he is far too stupid of a human being to waste any of my brain cells caring about what he does in this episode.

In the carriage is Koji and his terrible voice acting. Koji snootily tries to make the boys stop fighting, but Eddie, somehow knowing Koji is a Medafighter, challenges him to a match.

Koji accepts and summons Sumilidon. The match is pretty quick as Sumilidon’s speed and agility allow it to easily dodge Gloomeg’s missiles and get several strikes in. Koji is the winner, but he doesn’t take any parts since he has too many as it is. With a literal twinkle of his not-drawn teeth, Koji leaves. Eddie follows because he wants a rematch, and Erika and Ikki try to follow too, but Karin pushes them out of the way and into a hole.

Erika’s pissed, but she soon realizes why she pushed them.

The ELEMENTARY school grounds aren’t just littered in net traps – they’re also covered in spear gun traps and bear traps.

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Is that a butcher knife?

How is Eddie still alive with all of his limbs after spending two years wandering around this death trap? How is this place even still open? Jesus.

Karin: “You’re that boy from yesterday.” Yesterday?….Wasn’t it just this morning? I didn’t see any noticeable passage of time.

Ikki’s name is really a problem when he introduces himself. “I’m icky.”…It’s supposed to be pronounced ‘Eek-ee’ I can understand the former is just a more common English way to say that word, but either pronounce it correctly to stop calling the poor kid ‘icky’ or, and I don’t like suggesting this, just change his name for the dub.

Also, how did Karin get here? At least they show Koji having a horse and buggy. Karin just came out of nowhere in the middle of this mess of land.

Karin leads them to some boats to access the island that the school is on. I refuse to believe that these rich kids only get to the school via row and paddle swan boats. There has to be some motorboats or yachts around here.

Ikki and Karin are in a row boat while Erika and Metabee are in a paddle swan boat. Karin suddenly looks at the water, making the boat creek a little, causing Ikki to rush her, thinking she’s going to fall out. He overshoots, however, and ends up in the water. Turns out, nothing was wrong….

Ikki: “Karin, what was that all about?”

Karin: “I thought I saw a penny at the bottom of the lake. *sigh* A penny. Boy, I could sure use that.”

…….*deep breath*

*sigh*

I don’t have the patience for this right now, so here’s a ranting lightning round.

– The lake is way too deep and you’re all out way too far for you to see anything at the bottom.

– Let alone a penny.

– Ikki looks at her with a -_- face like she did something wrong, but he overreacted over her just looking to the side of the boat. Her reasons were stupid, sure, but she didn’t gasp or freak out or anything.

– No one, not even the dirt poorest person in the world could ‘sure use a penny.’

– Because pennies are useless.

– They never explain why she wanted this penny. No reason would be satisfying, most likely, but still, why did she want a penny?

– You have to be one of the richest people in the country to even go to this ridiculous school – why the fridge do you need a penny?

– Even if you did somehow see a penny, then what? You call a scuba team and pay them a few thousand dollars to retrieve it, never getting the bitter irony of the situation?

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They reach the castle of a school and Erika starts interviewing the students for info on the Legendary Medafighter. As expected, they all just know stuff based on rumors. It starts out normal enough, with some of them arguing over which Medabot he uses. Then it gets weirder with people exclaiming he’s over eight feet tall. Then it’s gets stupid with people saying he’s not eight feet tall – he actually has eight feet growing out of his head, which goes even further and stupider by other kids saying they’re all left feet and he has to buy 16 pairs of shoes when he goes shopping (is it even necessary to buy shoes for feet that are on your head? Also, they’re forgetting his regular feet – so 17 pairs of shoes…)

Ikki notices Karin mopping. She’s made fun of a little by some snotty girls who really only make fun of her by pointing out what she’s doing in one of those snotty bitch voices.

Bitch: “Don’t forget the toilet. I clogged it.” Yes….you’re so intimidating by admitting that you dropped such a massive load that you clogged the toilet. What an effective bully you are.

Ikki asks her why she’s cleaning, and she happily explains that it’s just something she does. Ikki instantly believes she’s super poor. She can’t afford the tuition, which is why she cleans the school and was trying to get the penny out from the lake.

Let me spoil this for you right now. She’s not poor. She’s just a ridiculously overly kind airhead.

Ikki is an idiot for even thinking this for a second. Why would any dirt poor kid go to one of the most expensive schools in existence? Unless they got a free ride for some reason (And I doubt that here because this is just an elementary school), that’s a horribly irresponsible thing to do. Not to mention impossible. If these middle class kids can’t even fathom being able to afford this school, no poor person, no matter how many pennies they pluck out of lakes, would ever be able to.

And I must reiterate, even poor people wouldn’t really care about a single penny no matter how hard up they are for cash.

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Through some more of some of the most painfully bad voice acting I’ve ever heard (please stop it) some boys ‘coerce’ her into giving them her lunch and dessert, which she happily gives away for also no real reason.

Erika shows up claiming that the latest batch of rumors state that the Legendary Medafighter is connected with a ‘maiden’ who is super sweet and has her hair up in pigtails.

They don’t.

Even glance.

At Karin.

They get frustrated because apparently that description could apply to thousands of girls in the school, but I only saw one other girl so far who had pigtails.

Eddie, who is in the vicinity, happens to overhear this and, having a working brain, does instantly connect the dots that it’s Karin.

After a very awkward moment, complete with awkward silence, happens between Karin and Ikki, she picks up a rose and pricks herself on the thorns that the art department couldn’t be bothered to draw.

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Ikki does the laziest job tying the handkerchief Karin gave him earlier onto her supposedly injured hand. Look at how loosely that’s tied. That’s not helping anything. Also, she just poked her finger, she doesn’t need a whole-hand tourniquet.

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Ikki: “Wow, she’s SO pretty.” Deep into the mind of a young boy this piece of wisdom comes.

Koji shows up, wanting to protect Karin from Ikki.

Erika: “Hey look, it’s that rich guy!” Literally every person in this school is rich….

Koji goes on a tangent about knowing Karin since he was in kindergarten and how he won’t let Ikki put his filthy hands on her.

Oh excuse me, I meant to say…

Koji: “I’ve had my eye on Karin since kindergarten. I’m the one who had to grow up with her through those awkward years. You think you can walk in here and lay your unmanicured hands on her?! Think again, groundling!”

So, treating Karin like property, like you had dibs on her, like you’re entitled to her because you ‘had’ to grow up with her, acting like her ‘awkward years’ were a particular burden on you, acting like a condescending twat to a guy based on your financial standing merely because he was trying to help your precious Karin not bleed – Full fledged asshole. Got it.

Mr. Referee comes out dressed in a suit of armor…for…some reason, and Ikki and Koji have a robattle.

Sumilidon is too quick for Metabee and slashes him in the back.

Ikki: “MeTAbee!” I know I can’t convey in text how awkwardly lines are delivered, but he emphasizes the ‘ta’ way too sharply here.

Ikki says Koji is really advanced and that he’s never battled anyone like him just because he thought to attack from behind….how novel.

After some grappling and quick shots, Koji becomes equally impressed by Ikki, stating no one’s ever lasted this long against him, especially with an outdated Medabot.

Suddenly, Karin is kidnapped by Eddie who is using her as bait to lure out the Legendary Medafighter. He doesn’t really intend on hurting her, he’s just desperate to fight the Legendary Medafighter or else he’ll have to admit the last two years of his life have been a waste.

Koji and Ikki, again, both deny that they’re the Legendary Medafighter (And if it was Koji, he’s already lost to him once, sooo…) However, once he starts yelling out his demands over a bullhorn, literally every (poorly drawn) guy in the school comes to Karin’s aid.

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Seriously, look at the guy directly behind Ikki. He looks like he was carved out of a potato.

They all summon their Medabots and kick Eddie’s ass. Karin comes in to defend Eddie, somehow untying herself I think? She summons her Medabot, Neutranurse, to the scene to heal the damaged Gloomeg, which never made an ounce of sense to me. These are robots with dents and scratches and broken parts. You shouldn’t be able to heal physical damage with some magical light.

What makes even less sense is that it seemingly also heals Eddie of his wounds! What the hell!?

Ikki’s shocked that she’s a Medafighter, which at least makes a little sense because she didn’t have her watch on, but that just makes me question why she didn’t have her watch on this whole time. Koji exclaims that no one can defeat Karin, and her Wiki backs this up. She’s undefeated because, no lie, she’s so sweet and kind that no one has the heart to attack her, which just makes me physically ill. I don’t remember hating Karin in the past, but I think it’s inevitable.

Erika deduces that Karin is actually the Legendary Medafighter, and, yeah, she’s right. I have no clue how this rumor got started, though. Was someone just so ashamed of ‘losing’ to Karin that they came up with some silly story of a mysterious powerful guy?

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As Ikki, Erika and Metabee leave, they’re stopped by Karin’s massively long pink, because of course it’s pink, limo, (She was with Ikki and Erika on the regular grounds before but there was no limo – why didn’t she have it then?), and offers them a ride.

Karin: “There’s plenty of room as long as you don’t mind sitting in the Jacuzzi.” That limo is ridiculously long even for a limo. No one else is in the limo. There’s no way there aren’t more actual seats in there – you just wanted to mention that you have a Jacuzzi in your limo.

Ikki: “Karin, you’re rich!?” Oh for god’s sake, Ikki…Even if you held that stupid belief for that long, surely realizing that she owns a Medabot should be enough to prove she’s not poor. Even you couldn’t afford your own Medabot, Ikki.

Koji: “Come on, Karin. Let the commoners walk. They like the exercise.” He legit called them commoners….Ya know what’s even worse, though?

Karin: “Oh really? I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to interrupt.” She. Believes. Him. Are ‘commoners’ so foreign to you that you can’t even work your brain past a statement like that?

Also, you know what I hate? Super kind cutesy characters who don’t point out when other characters are insulting each other because apparently they’re so kind that they’re also oblivious. From Koji calling Ikki a groundling to a commoner, Karin doesn’t ding Koji for it or defend Ikki – she just goes about her day with that big ol’ smile.

Anyway, all of them have to walk the rest of the way because Koji’s an ass and Karin’s an idiot. Meanwhile, the Screws are damned to walking the grounds of the school for all eternity.

The end.

————————————-

I really want to reach a point where I can end a Medabots review without feeling the need to say ‘This episode is bad.’ At a certain point, it just makes me feel like I’m being a jerk, but…yeah, this episode is bad.

The concept of a mysterious undefeated Medafighter is alright, and so is the episode baseline of trying to find him, but every step along the way was really infuriating.

The school was way too over the top to the point where it didn’t even make logical sense for rich kids (Even traveling by carriage or car, there are mountains to traverse on their property to get to the lake’s edge, and you still need to seemingly take a row or paddle boat to get to the actual school. It would take way too long to get to school. You’d have to wake up at 4AM to be there on time. And let’s not even talk about the lethal traps they lay everywhere.)

Eddie’s story was terrible. He really couldn’t reach the school in over two years? Why didn’t he just follow the road? How is he not dead with all of those traps around? How did no one on security detail ever find him? In addition, it’s pretty sad (read: pathetic) that his two year trek to find and challenge the Legendary Medafighter amounted to him finding a girl who is literally unbeatable because, gosh darn it, she’s just so swell.

I am really interested to see a scene with him reuniting with his parents. They’ll be bawling and hugging him and then they finally ask the million dollar question – where have you been? And then he’ll explain he was stupidly chasing after a Legendary Medafighter in the woods of some snob school for two years, wouldn’t find his way back home….and then they put him up for adoption.

Seriously, imagine being that kid’s parents while hearing that explanation and try not to see a white flash of rage.

Then there’s Koji and Karin….ugh. Koji is a stuck up prick and Karin’s an overly saccharine perfect (to the point where her Medabot is basically a literal angel – look at that last screencap, come on) idiot who I can definitely see making my blood pressure go up in future episodes. It doesn’t help that she’s the typical oblivious center to a love triangle – IE two of the main characters constantly fighting over her.

Even the robattles in this episode weren’t that good. The first was completely one-sided and the second ended prematurely. I did like the sudden flood of Medabots in the end (Didn’t realize so many of them could fly/hover), but they were so briefly shown that I couldn’t really see them too well. Then there’s the logistics of how Neutranurse even works, and I don’t want to bother trying to do the mental gymnastics for that one.

Pile on all the other little nonsensical details I’ve listed here, and it’s just a largely unpleasant episode. I will say that they got me with the twist. I didn’t expect Karin to be the Legendary Medafighter, but that positive is put into question because the reasons behind her undefeated record are irritating.

Sumilidon is pretty cool, and that’s pretty much all I have left in the positives department.

Next episode, beach…stuff…I guess.

…Previous Episode


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SSBS – Medabots Episode 3: Running Scared

SSBS - Medabots episode 3 screen 1

Plot: Coach Mountain is bringing the hammer down hard on Ikki and the Screws. It seems like every time they accidentally get in his way, he makes them all run and exercise until they’re exhausted. Coach Mountain seemingly hates Medabots and is especially strict about having Medabots and robattles on school grounds. When Erika shows them video footage of Coach Mountain training a Medabot, they all become livid. Why is Coach Mountain training a Medabot and why is he acting so peculiar?

Medabot Debuts:

Megaphant: An ELF Medabot, Megaphant’s design is based on an elephant. It has an iron ball on a chain on its trunk, which it uses to flail its enemies, thick armor, and two strong shields for hands.

Digmole: A MOG Medabot, Digmole’s design is a combination of a bulldozer and a mole. Digmole’s only specialty is digging and doesn’t have much in the way of offensive capabilities.

Robattles:

Coach Mountain vs. Gangsters: Winner – Gangsters: Coach Mountain lost his right to buy the land.

Ikki vs. Gangsters: Winner – Ikki: Megaphant loses arm shield to Metabee and the gangster loses the right to buy the land.

Breakdown: The Screws are out training when they’re caught by Coach Mountain. He’s incredibly strict when it comes to robattles or Medabots on school grounds. If he catches you, he chastises you for wasting time with Medabots and forces you to exercise until you’re pouring sweat.

Ikki: “I mean, bringing their Medabots to school? How stupid can you get?” Nearly every character has been doing that since episode one, including you.

Metabee drops by, nearly getting Ikki the same workout treatment the Screws are getting.

Ikki: “And I heard he stopped an erupting volcano by plugging it with his butt!” The dialogue in this show is so stupid sometimes.

After discussing the legendary harshness of Coach Mountain with Metabee, Ikki tells him to never come back to school again, which Metabee begrudgingly agrees.

The next day at school, Ikki is doomed to Coach Mountain’s exercise regimen after he, along with the Screws, got less than a 30 on their latest tests.

After a rigorous exercise stint, the Screws spot Coach Mountain talking to some shady guys about cash that Coach Mountain seemingly owes them.

Throughout the week, Coach Mountain continuously rides Ikki and the Screws for a bunch of honest mistakes, running them ragged until they’re unable to walk anymore…..I’m really surprised no one’s cited Coach Mountain yet. Making kids run laps because they do something bad, fine, but he’s making them so exhausted they can barely stand or keep their eyes open – and this is all because of accidents and mistakes.

This time, Ikki and Metabee spot Coach Mountain doing something suspicious. He’s dressed in dark clothing with a big wad of cash muttering that the money he has currently isn’t enough.

Ikki and the Screws try to hide out at the store to get some rest. I actually like when the Screws and Ikki hang out with each other. It’s an interesting dynamic.

Erika shows up to give them the latest scoop – a video of Coach Mountain training a Medabot. Everyone’s shocked, but they believe this is the missing piece to the puzzle of Coach Mountain’s harsh behavior. The shady characters, the wad of cash, the Medabot – the only logical conclusion, apparently, is….Coach Mountain is using his Medabot to collect their sweat and sell it to mad scientists.

…..*sigh* Okay, not only is that really dumb, but if the Medabot was the one collecting the sweat, wouldn’t they have seen it by now?

In order to get back at Coach Mountain for all of the exercising (And to get a great news story, on Erika’s end) Ikki, the Screws and Erika join forces to expose Coach Mountain.

That night, they start following Coach Mountain around town, eventually leading them to a very seedy part of the city that Sam claims is haunted. I have no way to prove this, but given that Sam is blushing here and the part of town they’re in, I’ll assume she’s actually talking about something more….adult….than ghosts.

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My concerns are basically validated in the next couple of scenes because they’re then lead into a alleyway where….I assume a prostitute tells them they have to be 21 to get into…wherever this is, then they run into some grabby drunk guys who try to invite them to karaoke. Those obstacles are pretty realistic, but then they come across a guy who won’t let them pass on the street unless they solve some ridiculous math riddle.

Through the commotion, Ikki and Erika are separated from the Screws, but they stumble upon a backalley robattle. Coach Mountain is battling some shady characters. I’d give their names, but even the show doesn’t bother. Even in the Medabot Index screen, Megaphant’s owner is just ‘Gangster.’…..Unless….that’s his name. In which case, your mom screwed your future over big time.

Even though they’re not, at least as far as I can see, Megaphant’s hands look so terrible that I could swear they’re digitally painted over.

He’s defeated pretty handily by Megaphant and tells the kids to run away. The gangsters state that Coach Mountain is a terrible robattler since his Medabot is garbage and he doesn’t even know how to use it properly. They also reveal that the reason he keeps robattling them is because he has a dream to turn this area into a park for the local children.

The little children from the area run to Coach Mountain’s aid, and I guess we’re meant to assume that they’ve been there the whole time but are only just now running to him because the park thing as revealed?

Little Girl: “We don’t need a park, we can play in the alley.” And *cough cough* little Timmy doesn’t need his medicine this month. *cough cough* He can hold on until you pay the mortgage on the shed we live in. *cough cough* What? If they’re going to be melodramatic, I can.

Little Boy 1: “We live around here, but there’s no park. So whenever we play outside, we get road rash.”….You…You get road rash? Is someone throwing you out of a moving vehicle during play time? What?

Little Boy 2: “And then this angel man fell from the heavens and said he’d build us a park.” PbbbbbbbbbbtttttttttttHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! This dialogue is killing me.

Anyway, the gangsters want the land and this robattle is to determine once and for all who gets the right to buy it. This doesn’t really add up with the earlier dialogue between Coach Mountain and these guys about not having the money and them demanding money, but whatever. Also, apparently Coach Mountain has been saving up so fiercely for this park that he wasn’t able to buy good Medabot parts and has even been starving himself.

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Okay, calm the drama down, guys. Pretty soon he’s going to say he’s been selling his blood and crawling on the streets for loose change. And if he’s so dedicated to this cause, why has he been wasting so much time dicking around with Ikki and the Screws, being a complete hypocrite about Medabot usage, when he could’ve been out earning more money with a second job, training with his Medabot or even asking for donations?

Erika: “Wow…that’s the sappiest story I’ve ever heard.” At least they’re self-aware, but the fact remains that this is the truth, so mocking it in-story is kinda mean. It’d be different if they were obviously hamming up a lie.

Digmole obviously loses.

Coach Mountain: “A pink hippo slide….little horsies on springs….A swing made out of an old tractor tire….My dream is slipping away!” I honestly can’t tell if you’re trying to be funny or are going way overboard with the sympathy angle that you don’t get how corny this dialogue sounds. Either way, this is just goofy.

Angered at the gangsters for stealing Coach Mountain’s dream, Ikki and Metabee step up to challenge them instead…..Although….I don’t really get what the gangsters get should they win, besides a piece of Metabee.

Why wasn’t Mr. Referee already here for Coach Mountain’s robattle?

Also, the gangster’s voice is just terrible. I mean, pretty much all of the voices in this show are terrible, but this guy is something else. He’s just chewing up the gangster angle so much I’m surprised he’s not going ‘Nyah, see?!’

Metabee tries shooting up Megaphant, but his shields keep blocking his tracks, his only weak spot, and he has thick armor everywhere else. No only that, but they’re on very sandy terrain, which is great for Megaphant but terrible for Metabee. Ikki commands him to run over the back of a nearby gravel mound. Flying off of the mound to attack Metabee, Megaphant’s tracks are finally exposed from underneath, giving Metabee a chance to attack. He destroys his tracks and bombards him with missiles. The victor is Metabee.

The gangster falls in defeat and Ikki and Coach Mountain have an awkwardly pseudo-romantic tearful embrace.

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The next day, Coach Mountain is back to being a dickwad. He’s punishing the kids for something they did outside of school, which is ‘playing outside at night.’ So you don’t give a shit that they saved your precious park? Nice.

Metabee: “I’d help, but Medabots don’t sweat.” Shut up, Metabee.

—————————————–

This episode is bad, but for different reasons than the previous two episodes. For starters, Ikki and the Screws are actually in the right this time. The Screws were only in the wrong for practicing their robattling on school grounds. Everything else was an accident, yet they kept getting run ragged Coach Mountain of Shit.

I was especially angry that Ikki saved his park for him and he STILL acts like an unfair twat and punishes them all again.

Not to mention his utter hypocrisy for seemingly hating all Medabots yet secretly having one of his own. I wouldn’t be SO bothered, if not for the fact that he was chastising the Screws for training their Medabots, too, when, again, he was doing the same. We don’t even get an explanation as to where he got this Medabot or why he doesn’t hate this one when he seemingly hates all others.

The first half is really repetitive, boring and irritating, while the second half is just confusing. I get that this is supposed to be some redemption for the guy, but the tone is really screwed up. They acknowledge that this park stuff is cheesy, but we’re supposed to be taking it seriously. They ham up the sob story dialogue like crazy, but the stakes for Ikki’s robattle are supposed to be high.

It’s hard to take any of this seriously anyway with such a cartoonish over-the-top 1950’s-esque gangster character, who doesn’t even have a name, being the enemy. His Medabot is pretty cool and powerful, but that’s about it.

The only thing I liked about this episode was Ikki teaming up with the Screws, just because I find that to be a neat dynamic. Everything else was terrible.

Next episode, Ikki and Erika investigate rumors of a Legendary Medafighter at the local private school.

…..Previous Episode

SSBS – Medabots Episode 2: Return of the Screws

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Plot: Ikki is a psuedo-celebrity in school after his robattle victory over the bandits. However, he cannot gain the respect of or authority over Metabee. After a lot of fighting, Ikki decides he’s had enough with his ‘defective’ Medabot, but requires his assistance when the student council calls on him to help them beat the Screws and get their meeting room back.

Medabot Debuts:

Totalizer: A TOT type Medabot, Totalizer’s design is based off a turtle. However, not much is known about it’s battle capability since it’s never seen fighting in the anime. However, its technical specs claim that it has speedy firing capability. One can assume, like the turtle its based on, that Totalizer has great defense.

Banisher: A BAN type, Banisher’s design is based heavily on bancho, like its Medafighter, but it’s extremely fragile. Banisher’s model is unique in that it has no ability to attack first. It must be a counterattack. Not that it ever gets a chance to do such a thing.

Battles:

Ikki vs. Samantha: Winner – Ikki: Peppercat loses right arm to Metabee.

Ikki vs. Baron von Banish: Winner – Ikki: Banisher loses legs to Metabee.

Breakdown: Today’s episode starts with Ikki being egotistical and a complete asshole. Swell. Ikki is high off of his victory from the last episode and becomes full of himself. However, Metabee is refusing to take orders from him, and well he should.

I may not be Metabee’s biggest fan, but Ikki is acting like a complete asswad to Metabee. He’s furious that Metabee is sitting at the table reading the paper because he shouldn’t be doing anything that he doesn’t command. And when he takes out the trash, possibly freeing Ikki from the chore, he’s outraged that Metabee will follow his mother’s directive without issue but not his. Metabee even gives a good argument as to why he’s obeying Ikki’s mom – because she’s providing him with free room and board and he believes he owes it to her.

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To make his rage even more apparent, he tells Metabee to throw himself out in the trash when he’s done. How nice. Don’t talk with him or try to understand why he’s not obeying you – Just keep insulting and yelling at him for doing innocent things and helping out. Keep in mind, Metabee is disobeying him in the most polite way possible. I know he’s been disobeying him since the start, but even that was due to Ikki screaming at him and insulting him.

You’re really going to make me do something I usually don’t do – Praise Ash Ketchum. When Ash was first starting out as a Pokemon Trainer, his origins were much like that of Ikki’s. He really wanted a Pokemon but hadn’t been able to acquire one until the first episode. His partner (Also yellow, coincidentally) completely disobeyed him as well. However, whereas Metabee disobeys Ikki because Ikki’s a twat, Pikachu disobeyed Ash because he thought he was an idiot and didn’t want to follow a human’s command.

Ash tried to talk with Pikachu and gave in to some of Pikachu’s more demanding quirks like not getting into his Pokeball and shocking people with little provocation. Despite it being the only way to keep him under decent control, he also quickly conceded on using rubber gloves and leading Pikachu by a rope since it was more respectful of Pikachu. He did try to be a commanding Trainer a bit, but it was smoke and mirrors and he wasn’t being an ass about it.

Ash did eventually get fed up with the situation and started trying to do things on his own that would require a Pokemon’s assistance, like trying to capture a Pidgey. However, while he was being a bit silly and misguided, it was at least understandable that he was brought to this point.

People don’t like to acknowledge it, but early Pikachu was an ass. Dealing with such a Pokemon on your first time out is plenty to get frustrated over. And he did need to get his journey up and running. If his Pokemon won’t cooperate for the time being, he has to do something to try and further himself, even if it is silly.

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Now imagine if Pikachu was cooperative and pretty chill. It had some issues in battle, but nothing it couldn’t get around. It was helpful and liked to just hang out. Would Ash’s frustration and subsequent reactions make sense in that scenario?

Now imagine if Pikachu acted that way and instead of just getting fed up and trying to do things himself, he constantly yelled at Pikachu and called him a rat who deserved to be thrown in the garbage. You’d probably think Ash was a huge bag of dicks.

Another thing to keep in mind here is that Ikki is lucky he even has a Medabot at all, like Ash was lucky he even got Pikachu since he slept in and all of the main starters were taken.

This was also a theme in another shounen anime, Megaman NT Warrior. Kid without super cool cyber being gets cool cyber being and ends up being completely ungrateful for a time, even saying he wanted to send it back, because it wasn’t quite the way he wanted it, even though Megaman was completely cool and powerful.

Ikki, however, is by far the worst example here since he’s an amalgamation of all of the examples and amplified.

Ikki heads to school and tells Metabee to stop following him since Medabots aren’t allowed in school….say what? The very first scene of the first episode was a Medabot battle taking place in school – and with the student council president no less. Since when are Medabots not allowed in school at all?

After some more bitching and moaning, he runs into Henry and bitches and moans that the Medabot he sold him was defective. Henry explains that he’s not at fault for the issues he’s having with Metabee by explaining again how Medabots work. Medabots are comprised of a skeleton, a body and a medal. Henry sold him the skeleton and body, but Ikki found the medal. Since the medal is a Medabot’s equivalent to a brain, if anyone is to blame for his behavior, it’s Ikki.

When Ikki arrives at school he finds that Erika has posted a clearly digitally painted article (complete with typos: “I’m sre” is meant to be “I’m sure,” and “juibilant” is meant to be “jubilant”) posted on the wall, essentially glorifying Ikki’s victory over the bandits from the last episode, making him a school-wide sensation.

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Ikki relishes in the spotlight for a minute before Metabee shows up and starts trying to sign autographs. His adoring fans are quickly brought down when they see that Metabee won’t obey its MedaFighter. Metabee, getting irritated, starts shooting up the school….I’m not kidding. He did it earlier in the scene with Henry and Ikki too.

He gets a little mad then starts shooting off his guns everywhere. And I don’t care if the sounds effects are more ‘pew pew’ than ‘pow pow’ that’s still obviously a machine gun.

After the shooting, which hardly anyone seems to be batting an eyelash at, Samantha orders Sloan to battle Ikki and take out their rising threat. Sloan calls out his Medabot, Totalizer, and they try to start the match when Coach Mountain puts Totalizer in a headlock and stops the match since it’s against school rules. Just because we haven’t had a lot of pointless scenes in this episode. Or I guess they wanted to establish Sloan’s Medabot since it will never be in the show ever again.

I love how Ikki’s more concerned over possibly getting expelled due to him almost having a robattle in school when his Medabot just performed a school shooting that he was mostly unconcerned about.

Metabee then says the only reason he was in school anyway was because he went home before, like Ikki said, and his mother sent him back with his notebook. Just when you think the two might start getting along a little better, Metabee reveals that he ran the notebook through the dishwasher before he left because it was dirty. Since it’s an electronic notebook, it’s completely ruined (I don’t know why I pointed out that it was ruined due to being electric since even if it was a paper notebook it would still get ruined) I’m not really clear on whether Metabee did that on purpose.

Ikki tells Metabee to leave and that he never wants to see him again. He does and the series ends.

The end

Nah, that’s too easy.

Later, Ikki finds a love letter in his locker from a secret admirer telling him to meet her behind the school. However, it was really a trick by the student council. They want to contract him out to robattle the Screws and get them the student council office that they lost access to in the start of the previous episode. After giving his ego a few strokes and promising him the title of student council vice president if he wins, Ikki agrees to take down the Screws.

Henry captures Metabee by baiting a net with a watermelon…..Yeah, the logic is that, since Metabee is a beetle type Medabot, he can’t resist the allure of watermelon…..Because that’s a reasonable feature to put into a Medabot medal – realistic instincts of the animal the medal is based on. Look out, Peppercat, you’ll be foiled by that ball of yarn!

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Ikki and Samantha face off. Samantha brings forth Peppercat and Ikki tries to call Metabee, but realizes his medal is not in his Medawatch. Medals need to be installed in the Medawatches in order to call forth the Medabot.

Once the Medabot emerges, the Medafighter installs the medal in the Medabot. (Can we please tone down the words that have the word ‘meda’ in them? I’m going to go nuts.) However, Ikki realized in an earlier scene that Metabee’s medal cannot be ejected remotely due to errors, and Henry couldn’t do it manually since Metabee wouldn’t let him (which spurred the aforementioned first shooting).

Since he cannot teleport Metabee to the match, he has to go looking for him. He finds Metabee being hauled off by Henry and demands for his release. Henry says that Metabee is clearly defective like Ikki said and seems willing to take out his medal and replace it with a ‘properly working’ one. Ikki considers the arrangement, but backs down. Not because he’s grown to care about Metabee – But because he’s all he’s got at the moment and really needs to go battle.

What nice character development. We’ve gone from ‘I hate you, you’re garbage, I never want to see you again’ to ‘he is defective and I’d like to take his brain out and replace it with a better one, but right now I have to protect my fragile ego in front of a bunch of people I don’t give a shit about for a position I’m not qualified for nor do I want. He’s all I got, so gimme.’

It’s just so touching.

Somehow his pathetic half-hearted begging is enough to get Metabee to agree to battle for him. The music indicates that I’m supposed to feel feelings now.

Feelings have failed to load. Please contact the administrator.

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Metabee and Ikki go off to battle and Henry says this annoying sentence:

Henry: “They’re two of a kind. Arrogant, hot-headed and destined for greatness.” Yay, these two annoying egotistical jack-offs are destined for greatness. I can’t wait to sit through 91 episodes to see it come to fruition.

They go back to the park and start the robattle. Metabee has a lot of difficulty dealing with Peppercat’s electric attacks, but Ikki gets the bright idea to shoot the fountain, causing water to spray all over Peppercat, shorting her out. You’d think a Medabot whose main attack is electricity would have more preventative measures against water, but I’m not expecting much in the realms of intelligence from the Screws.

Also, Ikki, I’m sure the owners of the park really appreciate you shooting and destroying their fountain that would probably cost thousands of dollars to replace.

With one rocket launch, Peppercat is defeated. Samantha falls to the ground in horror since ‘The Big Cheese’ that they mentioned before Sloan was sent to battle Ikki will not be happy that they lost. The Big Cheese is named Baron von Banish, a supposedly powerful being who leads the Screws and runs the entire school from behind closed doors. Everyone shudders and whispers at his name, believing him to be merely a rumor and claiming no one’s ever seen him before.

A huge imposing figure in bancho attire approaches and challenges Ikki. He brings forth his Medabot, Banisher, and they start the mat—you know what. I was going to go all the way with a big buildup to get to the punchline of this whole minor-ish-not-really-it’s-actually-total-filler-this-guy-has-no-point-sub-plot, but they basically spoil what will happen right here.

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See, when they do the Index screen for Banisher, they say its special ability….is a strong appearance.

If you can put two and two together, you can instantly surmise that he just looks tough but is actually a pushover. And lo and behold, he is. He takes literally one shot from Metabee and loses.

Baron himself collapses and starts coughing, revealing he’s also a sickly pushover, and he just walks away without even breaking his tough guy character. And despite his sickly nature and the fact that his Metabot was just defeated depressingly easily, the Screws still worship the ground he walks on. I don’t get it. The Screws are stupid, but I wouldn’t think they’d be quite that stupid.

That sure was a thing that happened. What a fun two minutes that was.

Metabee and Ikki bask in their victory for a moment before the student council president gives Ikki the title of vice president. Believing Ikki just used him for the sake of a title, with Erika so helpfully giving photo proof to support this, Metabee starts shooting at Ikki because gun violence against children is hilarious according to this episode.

————————————-

This episode was terrible. The plot was just scraps leftover from the first episode, both battles were disappointingly short and easy, especially for Ikki considering this is his second robattle ever, there was the stupid and utterly pointless ‘big cheese’ filler, and when you can make cheese filling bad, you’re doing something very wrong.

What’s worse is that Ikki doesn’t learn a damn thing. He treats his Medabot like crap even though it’s not doing anything to deserve it (until the shootings anyway) and he gets high on himself for something he didn’t even really do only to come out on top twice in the end.

He gets the vice president position, everyone’s either crushed over being trounced by him or singing his praises, only to serve more ego stroking, and he gets Metabee to listen to him even though he did nothing to earn it outside of saying ‘Yeah, you suck Metabee, but you’re all I got so will you battle for me?’

The only form of comeuppance for him is Metabee shooting at him, and that’s both over the top and something that won’t impact him at all anyway. And he’s trying to weasel out of Metabee getting mad over it, saying they’re lying about him wanting to get Metabee back for the sake of trying to win the student council position, but that’s a damn lie. Maybe he didn’t care about the position, but he cared about looking like a badass in front of his classmates and he did seem honored to have the title either way.

Next episode, Coach Mountain is acting odd. He’ll need to recruit Ikki and Metabee to help him with a serious problem.

….Previous Episode

SSBS- Medabots Episode 1: Stung by a Metabee

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Plot: The biggest ‘sport’ in town is robattling – pitting two Medabots against each other in combat. Nearly everyone (every kid anyway) has a Medabot, and while some Medabots are meant for mundane tasks, practically everyone with a Medabot robattles.

Ikki is the odd man out in his school. While he loves watching robattles, he doesn’t have a Medabot himself and this leads him to be the subject of ridicule. However, when his friend Erika is cornered by a bunch of Medafighters who have been forcing other Medafighters into submission battles (battles in which the winner gets a part of the loser’s Medabot), Ikki spends every penny he has buying an old model Medabot that he names ‘Metabee’ to save her and her Medabot, Brass.

Medabot Debuts:

Peppercat: A CAT type Medabot, Peppercat has electric abilities and high speed.

Dr. Bokchoy: A BOK Type Medabot, Dr. Bokchoy is good at scanning, making him effective against enemies with cloaking abilities, but he ultimately has no combat capabilities and is mostly used for research.

Brass: An SLR type, Brass is ultimately unimpressive. She has weak weapons and poor aim, but her aim can be increased substantially by her variable hair.

Metabee: A KBT type, Metabee is an older model Medabot with a focus mostly on projectile attacks.

Phoenix: A PHX type, Phoenix mostly employs fire attacks.

Blackram: A DVL type, probably poking at the term ‘devil’, Blackram has powerful physical attacks but virtually no defense.

Cyandog: A DOG type Medabot, Cyandog is a mediocre Medabot with a focus in shooting. Cyandog is known along his master as being awful in battling because its medal is a monkey type, meant for hand to hand combat, and his body is meant for shooting. Spyke refuses to get a hand to hand combat model body due to a preference for shooting models and doesn’t want to get a new medal, so he remains in suckage.

Battles:

Samantha Vs. Student Council President: Winner – Samantha

Spyke vs. Rockers: Winner – Rockers

Ikki vs. Rockers: Winner – Ikki

Breakdown: Medabots was a show that I caught while watching Digimon on Fox/ABC Family. I was never really too into it because something about the show never really sat right with me. Maybe it was the aspect of robots over what I was normally used to in these shows, animals or spirits, but I really kinda liked a bunch of the Medabots.

Maybe it was the main character who really has nothing unique to his name. Maybe it just seemed like nothing particularly important was ever happening. I don’t know, but despite this I still watched fairly frequently as it usually came on right after Digimon.

Getting into the first episode, they really waste no time introducing us to robattling as our very first scene is of a robattle. The two contenders, Samantha and the Student Council president, are battling to see if Samantha and her crew should be allowed to use the Student Council room as their own personal meeting room. How odd that so much is concerning the Student Council when I can bet anything that robattles and Medabots aren’t allowed on school grounds. If they are, that’s BS. I couldn’t even bring my Pokemon cards to school.

I would say this battle explores the rules of robattling, but it really doesn’t. It just shows the average structure of robattles, which is the exciting twist of ‘give them commands and watch them fight.’ Submission robattles also involve handing over one of the losing medabot’s parts to the victor, so yay we also have pseudo-gambling.

Mr. Referee’s only job, at least at this point, is to declare a winner and make sure no one gets hurt. But nearly every robattle I remember is merely decided from the medal popping out and I don’t know what Mr. Ref would do if any dangerous situation did arise.

This battle introduces us to Samantha, the screws, Ikki and Erika, and their rather shallow character traits are pretty much laid on a platter. Samantha’s a bully, the screws are mindless followers of her, Ikki’s bland and a bit of a jerk, and Erika’s obsessed with journalism and is also a bit jerkish.

The first battle of the series is at least pretty interesting, but the fact that Ikki points out that there’s no way Dr. Bokchoy can win before the battle even starts is pretty lame, even if he does get off a hit. It also showcased some strategies of these battles such as sacrificing all armor for speed.

Ikki is mocked frequently because of his lack of Medabot, and it pisses me off more than it should. Erika asks why he doesn’t just do what she did and ask his parents to buy him one, but Ikki says his parents think they’re too expensive and want him to save up the money and buy one himself.

Now, we can all relate to some degree. Most of us as children have asked our parents for something expensive and been denied, but his tight-assed shrews of parents won’t shell out probably hundreds of dollars, maybe thousands, for a sophisticated robot that is only destined to be damaged and destroyed 15 minutes after he purchases it. And what’s worse is that they actually want to teach him the meaning of a dollar and make him buy one himself after saving up. Why is no one calling child services?!

Henry, the owner of a local Medabot shop, kindly offers to give him an older model Medabot with the money he can offer, but Ikki and Erika laugh in his face and mock the thing. See what I meant about jerkish? Even an old discontinued Medabot is better than no Medabot, Ikki, and you were lucky to find someone willing to basically give you one with the pittance in your piggy bank.

This episode also introduces us to the Rubber Robo Gang and the Phantom Renegade, neither of which you can really take seriously at this point, but the main thing is that they try to steal a rare beetle medal, but the Phantom loses it in the river only to be found later by Ikki, meaning he has an advantage by default and just so happens to be offered a Medabot that is perfectly compatible with the medal since Metabee’s a rhinoceros beetle, KBT type.

While Ikki bitches some more to his mom about not having a Medabot, they see a news report about a group of thugs forcing people in submission robattles while Spyke, one of Samantha’s crew, loses a new part of his to these thugs called the Rockers.

Erika and Ikki learn of this, follow Samantha and the screws to see them confront the Rockers and end up getting in the middle of it. Since Ikki has no Medabot, they leave him alone, but they try to pressure Erika into battling with Brass.

Ikki runs off to buy the KBT model he was offered earlier and we’re shown the mechanical aspects of Medabots as Ikki puts his together. It’s nothing that complicated, just a skeleton and external parts that are interchangeable. The main aspect, however, is the medal, which is the mind and soul of the Medabot.

By the way, I never realized that Metabee’s name had nothing to do with a bee. It’s metal and beetle combined….In my defense, he IS yellow, and the title doesn’t really help….

Ikki’s return and first battle are pretty predictable. Metabee won’t start up, he starts getting his ass kicked because of it, Ikki yells at him and then Metabee kicks all of their asses. Ikki doesn’t even really do much besides yell at Metabee and change him into attack mode, which I’m fairly certain he was in either way.

Erika is completely ungrateful saying that Ikki merely ran away and him doing so made her lose the chance to get pictures, which is a total lie considering all of her film was used up by the Rockers before Ikki even left.

And the final kicker is when Metabee finally speaks and expresses outrage at his master calling him a piece of junk and starts shooting him. I should mention that I hate Metabee. His voice, mannerisms, catchphrases, all of them. Hate hate hate.

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The art and animation are appalling. The art is not detailed in the least and we’re not even blessed with any shading most of the time. It’s also sometimes hard to tell what’s going on in robattles because of the sloppy art and animation.

The English dub, while not being that bad, is just blech because there are so many moments when you see the characters screaming or yelling something but the actors just refuse to put any emotion or additional volume into their voices. Also, Samantha’s voice is really irritating.

If these Rockers are such douches, why don’t they take all of the Medabot’s parts when they win?

This episode was a fairly formulaic intro. There are some funny, albeit predictable, moments, and I find it strange that the most unique and funny characters are ultimately the bad guys save Mr. Ref.

Rating: 5/10

Next time, Ikki and Erika become popular targets for robattle after Erika runs a story about him beating the Rockers, so Samantha and the screws decide to have a shot at him too.