Yu-Gi-Oh Episode 11: Friendship Power! Barbarian #1 & #2 Sub/Dub Comparison

Plot: Mai has lost her passion for dueling after losing to Jonouchi, so she concocts a plan to have Ryuzaki beat Jonouchi for her. The catch? Yugi isn’t allowed to give him any advice. Being entirely on his own in the tournament for the first time, can Jonouchi beat Ryuzaki or will his dinosaurs make him extinct? …..Dammit, 4Kids, stop infiltrating my mind!

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They edit out Anzu’s inner monologue in the dub, which makes it awkward when you suddenly see her before Mai introduces the condition of the duel.

The punch sound is edited out of the dub, and Tristan says he was shoved when it’s obvious he was punched in the face….Don’t worry. We’ll have even funnier punch/shove moments than this.

In the original, Mai tells Ryuzaki that he’ll get his reward after he wins. Jonouchi doesn’t know what she means by that, so he cheekily asks what the reward is, very subtly implying that he thinks it’s something romantic or naughty. In the dub, this is omitted, obviously. They also edit the part where Jonouchi implies he wouldn’t mind being Mai’s slave. Jonouchi’s kinda a perv….

One of the aspects of this season that bugged me was the status of the Flame Swordsman, which changes a couple of times over the course of the first season.

First off, Flame Swordsman is a fusion monster, not a regular monster. However, apparently a regular version of the card was made later on. Jonouchi flip flops back and forth between using a regular version and fusion version yet he regularly summons both instead of performing a fusion.

Secondly, it has no effect; it’s a plain monster, even in this version as shown by the color of the card.

Third, since when is fire strong against dinosaurs and why? Eventually, the card stays as a regular monster card, but, for this episode, 4Kids changes it to its purple fusion appearance when it’s regular yellow in the original. Since I believe the fusion version is the ‘right’ version, at least at this point in time, I’ll give 4Kids some props.

In the original, Jonouchi doesn’t announce that the card he’s placing in the trap field is a Time Wizard. Mai and Ryuzaki guess that it is, but what idiot would declare what FACE DOWN card he just played? Even if it can’t be sprung as a trap, that’s just stupid.

Overall, I liked this episode. It’s nice to see Jonouchi dueling on his own two feet, and Ryuzaki’s a pretty interesting opponent.

Next episode, Jonouchi’s duel with Ryuzaki concludes. Can he face down the fearsome Red-Eyes Black Dragon?

…..Previous Episode

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Yu-Gi-Oh Episode 3 Sub/Dub Comparison

This is the face of someone trustworthy.

Plot: Yugi accepts Pegasus’ invitation to Duelist Kingdom in order to recover his grandfather’s soul. Yugi helps Jonouchi get aboard the ship heading for the tournament by giving him one of his star chips, while Anzu and Honda sneak onboard.

While aboard, they meet some of their future opponents; Insect Haga, Dinosaur Ryuzaki and Mai Kujaku. Haga gets his hands on the Exodia cards and throws them overboard to ensure that they can never be used against him. Jonouchi jumps into the waters below to recover the cards but can only retrieve two before needing rescue. After being rescued by Anzu, Honda and Yugi, Jonouchi tells them of his sister’s medical troubles, which is why he desperately needs the prize money from the tournament.

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In the original, as Yugi’s on the school roof, he sees Pegasus’s face overlaid on the sunset as he thinks about his Millennium Eye and how he could see his cards. In the dub, Pegasus has been replaced by Yugi’s grandpa and he’s worrying about his grandpa instead.

Subbed:

 

Dubbed:

Entire Show Edit: All flashbacks now have fuzzy white borders, common of all 4Kids productions.

A running ‘proverb’ so to speak throughout the show is ‘that which can be seen, yet not seen,’ the true shape of the Millennium Puzzle before finishing it, friendship etc. The dub completely omits this.

In the original, a bigger bully named Ushio sorta hired himself as Yugi’s bodyguard to take care of Jonouchi and Honda for him, since they were bullying him, for a lump sum. In the dub version, he’s unnamed, and Ushio makes no mention of any bodyguard deal. Also they add that they got Ushio expelled.

Mai in the original version basically ignores Jonouchi entirely upon their first meeting. In the dub she’s very mean to him for no reason. I guess this is to prod the JoeyxMai relationship in a weird way?

Directly after that scene, Anzu is upset that Yugi and Jonouchi are lusting after Mai and calls them perverts. In the dub, T’ea is upset because Mai’s so arrogant and keeps babbling that Yugi’s the best duelist. I guess this is to prod YugixT’ea?

Name Change: Mai Kujaku is changed to Mai Valentine.

Am I the only one who finds it incredibly arrogant that Joey/Jonouchi barely makes it onto to boat only through Yugi’s kindness and he has the nerve to bitch that he doesn’t get a private room? He does this in both versions, by the way.

When Anzu gets up, she’s looking for a toilet and Honda tells her to go pee off the side of the ship. This was probably seen as crass humor by 4Kids, so they changed it to T’ea being cold (so warm yourself up by getting closer to the freezing cold ocean in the freezing cold open air.) and then Tristan tells her the sun will rise in another few hours and she gets pissed. (I know it’s stupid, but he probably meant the sunlight will warm her up in a few hours.) Afterward, before the transition, Anzu actually says she’s cold and shivers, but 4Kids cut this….WHY? That scene actually lends credence to your edit, you morons!

Mai in the original version says she’ll do anything (wink wink) if Ryuzaki wins. 4Kids has their head in the gutter, so they changed it to simply a kiss.

I don’t entirely understand Mai’s perfume trick. First of all, Rex/Ryuzaki can’t smell that her cards are drenched in perfume? He’s almost as close to them as she is. Second, all of those smells would meld together when on top of each other in a deck. How could she tell them apart enough to know which is where?

Obviously the card “Cyber Bondage” with the giant needle nipples needed to be censored to ‘Cyber Shield’ and the needle nipples went poof. See your doctor if the same happens to you.

Subbed: 

Dubbed:

It’s pointless, really, but at the end of the Japanese version, before the preview, they overlay a rather intimidating picture of Yami for some reason. In the dub, his face has been removed and the shot only focuses on the sun rising.

This episode was decent, but nothing really happened outside of Yugi losing Exodia. Not like it matters that much, I doubt it’d be allowed in the tournament since its use is banned most everywhere, but he did need to lose it technically to avoid getting more instant wins. Other than that, it was a neat little intro to a few of the tournament competitors and not much else.

Next episode, Yugi challenges Insect Haga to a duel as revenge for Exodia. Can he beat the master of insects?

…Previous Episode

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Christmas Special Review: Itsudatte My Santa! Review Part 2

Plot: Santa and Mai are now living together and have been for the past six months. They’re enjoying their summer at the beach when an old friend of Mai’s, Shally, arrives to tell her that she’s taking over the area. Mai has to leave and go back to school. Her teacher, Noel, says that she’ll grant her until Christmas Eve at midnight to say goodbye to Santa.

Breakdown: Time to tackle the second half of the stale Christmas fruitcake…at the beach!

Episode 2: “Christmas Once More”: We start out with recycled footage from the first episode’s opening, segueing into a short sepia-toned flashback clipshow of Mai and Santa throughout episode one. Mai narrates about meetings and farewells before we transition to the beach where Mai asks if Santa would like her to rub suntan oil on his back.

The crowd overhears and think she means something dirty by that, and, amidst their clamoring, she slaps Santa again for thinking dirty thoughts.

Oh goody, a complete beat for beat and nearly line for line rip off of the joke from episode one, except this is actually stupid because of the crowd. She specifically said ‘suntan oil’ and they’re at the friggin’ beach where ‘suntan oil’ has to be a pretty commonly uttered phrase. Did they honestly think they were going to get oiled up and do the nasty right there in front of everyone? What perverts.

And Mai is still being a little bitch because she, again, slaps Santa for thinking dirty thoughts when he’s not even blushing or looking shocked in this scene. The crowd makes their assumptions and Mai smacks him again. Because when other people are pervs, it means everyone is.

Mai makes her big declaration, again, that she’s Santa Claus and thinking such thoughts about her is just awful.

Mai gets hauled off by the cops….again—Can I just copy/paste the first episode review and preface it with ‘In summer’? Because that’s what this is basically amounting to.

I don’t get why she’s being hauled away this time. She wasn’t seeming like she was propositioning Santa – they just misinterpreted what she said about suntan oil. And even if she did mean oil for sex or something, that’s still not grounds to be arrested. She has to actually do something first.

Mai pops up sans police escort again and berates Santa for not helping her, but they’re interrupted by the first non-first episode scene which is a little girl with pink hair saying ”she’s’ coming’ over and over. It’s Mai’s little sister…..Maimai……….from the ‘country of Santa Claus’.

Guys….you’re being insanely lazy right now….Like…mind-bogglingly lazy. A little effort? Please?

We see that the ‘she’ Maimai is referring to is another Santa coming up from a geyser in the water….So….Santas are waterbenders now? Or is it that they can control the sea because it begins with S?

The girl, named Shally, the Santa who briefly spoke to Mai while out on her sleigh on Christmas in episode one, bursts towards Mai saying she really wants to catch up, but first Mai has to leave because two Santa Clauses cannot handle the same area. Mai says her grandpa designated this area to be hers, but Shally says she’s more deserving of being Santa Claus of the area because all Mai has done for the past half year is screw around with Santa instead of training or studying.

…Yeah, that’s actually very logical. How has a half year gone by without Mai gaining enough magical power to go home anyway? Surely someone would’ve come for her. It just seems like she’s 1) Not making an effort to get home and 2) She’s not making an effort to work at being a Santa.

Mai defends Santa after Shally calls him worthless by yelling in a similar manner as Santa did in the beginning of episode one saying he’s a precious person who still believes in Santa (Well, yeah, anyone would believe in Santa if they met him and went on a Christmas sleigh ride delivering presents with magic. Faith isn’t faith if you have extensive proof of the thing you have faith in.) She blurts out that he was born on Christmas Eve and was named Santa because of it, further connecting it with the scene this is mirroring.

And of course Shally, like Mai did in that scene, laughs her ass off at this even though, again, they’re all Santa Clauses thus it can’t be THAT funny that a guy is named Santa. Is it seriously the fact that he was born on Christmas eve that’s the kicker?

After the laughter, both Mai and Santa run off comically while crying EXACTLY LIKE THE FIRST EPISODE. Can someone please do something original?

Shally grants my wish by challenging Mai to a contest to see who’s more deserving of being the Santa of that region. The contest is merely making S word items appear. Shally keeps one-upping her by making ‘gorgeous’ versions, really just giant versions, of all of the items that Mai is making.

How the hell does she…or Pedro have enough magic to keep doing the S item magic yet not enough to get them back home?

Santa tells her to stop, but Mai says she can’t because she doesn’t want to leave and give up being with Santa. Somehow she gets around to summoning a giant frog because she said ‘Snake and friends’ If that’s not cheating I don’t know what is. The giant frog is about to crush her, but Santa saves her.

Shally has a bit of a hissy fit about not being the villain, just doing what she’s told because she’s such a good Santa. Then Mai summons a sun room, or at least she says she does, one never appears for her, and Shally reflexively makes a gorgeous version, causing a huge sun room to fall on her.

It’s way too hot and sunny to be in there, especially for someone from a snowy region, so Mai summons (again, merely verbally) a coral reef…oh excuse me, a SEA coral reef. As opposed to all those land coral reefs. Shally, again, makes it gorgeous, breaking the sun room into a million pieces and crushing her.

The match is over after Maimai pops the reef with a needle…..?? and they go eat some watermelon while we get our backstory on Shally. She and Mai were classmates in Santa school and they were neighbors growing up, but while Mai is still a trainee, Shally passed her tests as a Santa Claus and was even placed in advanced classes.

Mai tries to defend herself, but Shally scoffs and says, if she really were any good, she wouldn’t have a toddler-like figure (again, a rehash from episode one….and why does Santa need to be a busty Playboy model in the first place?) and she’d be able to do more than just create S named items. Shally also mentions that, despite the fact that she did so last Christmas, Mai’s apparently not allowed to deliver presents.

Wait, how does she have an area designated to her at all if she’s not allowed to deliver gifts?

They have a small fight and Shally stomps off while Maimai says that she’s still hungry. Oh and haha, she eats a huge boatload of food and is still hungry. That’s not an overused joke or anything.

Mai goes off to buy her more food while Santa babysits.

Back with Shally, she’s so distracted by stewing over Mai that she accidentally bumps into someone, causing their watermelon…to fall….and smash into….pieces…..This better not be the gang lead—YUP. The same gang leader from episode one and his gang…*sigh*

The gang leader yells at Shally, but in a slight twist on episode one, Shally starts yelling and beating up the gang leader…though still in the exact same manner that the gang leader was beating up on Santa in episode one.

The gang yells at Shally in much the same manner as ep-you get the idea, but Shally changes it up a bit while still doing the same spin move that Mai did in that scene. She kicks the watermelon pieces, makes them ‘gorgeous’ and drops them on their heads….which is still nearly the same as the truckload of saury from episode one…..

While Mai is out shopping for food, she bumps into another person from ‘the country of Santa Claus’ named Noel who seems to be a higher up and a bit of a motherly figure to Mai. She says she has no choice but to obey the board of directors (There’s a board of directors for Santas?) and leave, but she’ll give her until…..Midnight on Christmas eve to say goodbye….Midnight on Christmas eve—That’s six months to say goodbye. You’re quite lenient.

Shally is eavesdropping on their conversation and says she’ll do Mai a solid and help her say goodbye to Santa. She yells this proclamation and does a ‘ho ho ho’ laugh over and over….while both Mai and Noel are mere feet away….Seriously, do they have the power of inaudibility and invisibility or is this just poor planning?

Shally tries to give Santa and Mai time to talk…while they’re playing volleyball…against each other no less, but Maimai keeps ruining it by smacking the ball into Santa’s head….Why would they talk about that or anything while playing volleyball? Especially if it’s supposed to be a personal goodbye.

Cut to later that night where Santa, Mai and Maimai are watching fireworks. Shally sneaks over and asks if Mai’s talked to Santa yet. She says no, and Shally takes Maimai away thinking she’s the cause again, which makes Maimai bite Shally.

Basically the exact same thing happens over and over at a hot spring, another hot spring, a bench, and out on the street. This cycle goes on for months….

It’s now December again because we had to get to Christmas somehow, and Shally starts freaking out that Mai won’t be able to say a proper goodbye to Santa and learn his true feelings before she’s forced to go away….

Okay, I have some questions. 1) Why is Maimai here? Has she been here since the end of episode one or did she really just pop up from nowhere at the start of this one?

2) If Mai admitted to Santa that she fell in love with him and they kissed twice in episode one, and they’ve been living together ever since, I find it seriously doubtful that his feelings were never brought up.

3) In another six month time period, Santa and Mai have REALLY never been given a moment alone? Maimai is constantly with them? I know she’s Mai’s little sister, but if she really did pop up from nowhere in this episode, why doesn’t she just go home? It probably would’ve been better to just start this episode in December to not make it so unbelievable, but I guess they really wanted to get those girls in bathing suits…

It’s now Christmas eve. Time really flies during repetitive montages. Shally’s getting increasingly stressed because the deadline’s fast approaching and no progress has been made, so she makes up a nice planned date for the two of them. Shally calls Santa up to discuss the plans and he’s actually super happy about this Christmas now since he has Mai, Maimai and even Shally to celebrate with.

Once Shally gets off the phone, she talks to Maimai about behaving for a change since this is her final chance to give the two of them the time that they need to sat their goodbyes. She starts lecturing her and getting really emotional when Mai walks in and hears what they’re saying.

She’s surprised….even though she knew about this, besides the whole Shally plan thing, and says she simply can’t say goodbye to him, because saying goodbye will mean that she’ll definitely be leaving for sure.

Shally and Maimai try to convince her that it’s for the best that she give him a proper goodbye, and we somehow segue into Shally talking about being Mai’s friend. She insists that, despite their differences in power and skill, she’s still Mai’s friend.

They flashback to when they were kids and apparently Shally was always teased for some reason, but Mai always stayed by her side no matter what. They were separated by the Santa school because Shally, having great grades, was sent to advanced classes while Mai lagged behind. However Mai said that they would still remain friends no matter what, even if she can’t stop time.

Santa Clauses give hopes and dreams to children….except the ones who are becoming Santas. We rip them away from their friends for the rest of their lives merely based on their grades…..HO HO HO!

Mai then realizes that she has to say ‘thank you’ to Santa instead of goodbye and also thanks Shally for being her friend.

…Did…Did I enter into a completely different show? I was ranting off the rails a second ago and now it’s all emotional and actually making an iota of sense.

Mai arrives at the Christmas tree where she and Santa first met and breaks the news to him. He takes it incredibly well and just tells her to go on and come back as soon as she can. He’ll wait for her even if takes a year or two. He wants to see her as a full-fledged Santa, and he knows his feelings won’t change no matter how long she’s gone.

Shally shows up, happy that Mai finally got the chance to say goodbye, but sadly it’s a mere five minutes until midnight….wait, really? How long were they talking back home? She made the reservations, had a short conversation with Santa, had a short lecture to Maimai, talked a bit with Mai, Mai arrives at the tree has a short conversation with Santa and suddenly hours have passed? Eh?

Anyway, the point is that now Santa and Mai have no time to do all the stuff Shally planned for their date, so as a special Christmas present to Mai, Shally and Maimai transform (sans nakedness) and stop time to give them the time they need to have a nice date.

They fly off on Pedro and the sleigh even though Mai doesn’t transform and they go off to have their date.

They go to an oddly empty restaurant to….sit there because the cooks would be frozen in time….They go to the amusement park and ride rides that are motionless because the operators are frozen in time. All the while we get a nice narration from Mai about how lucky she is to have Santa and how her feelings will never change either, even if she’s forced to leave.

The date ends and they both agree to not say goodbye since they will see each other again someday. Mai thanks Santa like she wanted to do and is content in leaving now that she knows she will return one day with Santa waiting for her.

She’s literally beamed up….somewhere and says her farewells to everyone. We get more somewhat touching narration from Mai as she continues to fly up and they just have to ruin it by making her transform. Because nothing says ’emotional moment’ like watching asses and boobs grow in front of your eyes.

She flies off on Pedro back to the school, Santa thanks her for believing in him, and she tells them/us to believe in her and believe in Santa Claus.

Our end credits now include stills of Maimai and Noel, and I did find Maimai’s Santa outfit to be pretty cute.

Hey if they’re gonna rehash stuff, I can too.

Mirroring the end credits scene from episode one, Noel suddenly appears on Santa’s doorstep with Mai. She throws Mai into his house and says it’s not Mai who escaped from preschool, it’s Maimai who needs to be dragged back…..Wait, huh? I thought this was about the higher ups making Shally replace Mai as the Santa for the area and Mai needing to go back to get more training. What is all this about an ‘escape’?….And Santa preschool? This mistook Mai for a preschooler or does Mai suck so much at her job that she’s in preschool for it?

We get a preview for episode three, The Third Christmas, which includes stuff like a giant reindeer mech. This preview is actually a joke….which saddens me deeply because look at that thing.

I demand a Christmas themed Gundam Series.

This needs to be a thing, dammit.

So….does that mean the end credits scene was also a joke? Good, because it completely ruins the ending.

Bottom Line: This was surprisingly much better than episode one. Santa is almost like an entirely different character here. He’s very mature and actually enjoyable to watch. Mai is also much easier to watch even if she does rehash that moment from episode one in an even bitchier fashion.

Maimai, while seemingly being unneeded outside of forcing an intrusion upon Mai and Santa, wasn’t really annoying as she doesn’t speak much. Her mannerisms are cliché and unfunny, but she’s not annoying.

Shally is a decent enough character. It’s made apparent from the getgo that she’s not a bad person and dislikes being seen as such. She just follows orders to a tee and has a bit of an ego. This makes it easier to take her basically changing her attitude entirely to becoming a mostly nice character. Plus, you can really tell that, despite the fact that they push each other’s buttons, they actually do care about each other.

The biggest issue I have is that the first part is WAY too reliant on mirroring the first part of episode one. It’s ridiculous how much they repeat just ‘In summer’.

The fanservicey transformation and end credits scene do create a drastic tone change on what is otherwise a pretty emotional and nice second half. In fact, the second half is so nice it’s really hard to tell that you’re watching the same show. It’s not too bad though if you just muscle through the transformation and believe that the end credits scene is part of the preview joke.

While it is better written than episode one, for the second half anyway, there are still a bunch of issues with the story in terms of plot holes and inconsistencies.

It also takes half the episode to even seem Christmas-y, but what is there is actually pretty sweet.

As a couple, even though they could be more fleshed out, Mai and Santa are pretty cute, barring that one scene I mentioned. You can tell how much they care about each other, and you can believe them more as a pairing because now they’ve spent six months to a year together instead of two or three hours. They also now have some structure to their relationship seeing as how Mai did help Santa finally enjoy Christmas, his birthday and maybe his life again.

Finally, I would’ve liked some sort of update on Santa and his relationship with his parents or friends, but nope. It’s not a huge deal, but it would’ve been nice.

Overall, this was a nice surprise. It’s a decent enough Christmas special if you ignore/glance over a few things. You could probably skip episode one entirely and enjoy this fine as a standalone. It’s nothing fantastic, but it was quite a bit better better sitting through this than episode one.

Merry (late) Christmas everyone! And remember; believe in Santa and you might find that she brings you a special present!…..As long as it begins with S.

Additional Information and Notes: Itsudatte My Santa! was directed by Noriyoshi Nakamura, who also directed numerous episodes of Mister Ajikko, and it was based on a manga by Ken Akamatsu. It was produced by TNK, and is currently licensed in the US by Funimation.

Episodes: 2

Year: 2005

Recommended Audience: Brief boob and ass shot, minute fanservice. 13+

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Christmas Special Review: Itsudatte My Santa! Review

Plot: A boy is left all alone every single Christmas, which makes him hate the holiday and never believe in the magic of Santa. When a girl shows up proclaiming to be Santa Claus, she wishes for nothing more than to make him happy this Christmas.

Breakdown: Let it be known that I went into this wanting to review a good stand-alone Christmas special for the holidays. Anime doesn’t get a whole lot when it comes to Christmas specials, especially stand alone features. I’ve seen the Christmas specials for Cyborg 009, Azumanga Daioh, Ai Yori Aoshi and a few others, but I’ve never really seen a stand-alone anime based on Christmas.

In comes Itsudatte My Santa – an anime special made by the same person who made Love Hina, a harem anime I’ve never seen and have never really wanted to see either.

Reviews that I’ve read about this series are ultimately mixed, but siding on the negative. In fact, the only article-based review I’ve found was completely negative. I did find some pretty positive reviews on it, though. So it seems I’m left at a crossroads. I really want this OVA to be good since it may give me another Christmas special to watch as a holiday tradition.

I made a deal with myself before I wrote this review, and even before I watched the anime, that I would post it before Christmas if I enjoyed it enough, to give people an early Christmas gift, and I would post it between Christmas and New Years if I didn’t like it, to avoid putting a damper on the holiday.

So, yeah, you can not only tell my feelings based on the rating, but also when I released the review. Hooray!

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We start off with narration and a flashback from our main lead wondering when it is that people stop believing in Santa. The normal rate, he presumes, is when children enter elementary school and start understanding reality more clearly. Or it could be due to accidentally seeing presents hidden around the house before Christmas or catching their parents in the act etc. For him, however, he never believed in Santa. His parents were always away for Christmas, and all of his gifts were mailed to him.

He was always lonely on Christmas, even if he points out that his grandma was there and even baked a Christmas cake for him every year.

Not only did his parents ditch him every Christmas, but they told him that if he was a good boy, not only would Santa come, but THEY WOULD COME BACK HOME. What dicks.

“Oh sorry son, we still can’t make it back for Christmas. Guess you must’ve been a little asshole. Maybe next year.”

He states again that, no matter how good he was, he was still alone on Christmas, even though in this very shot we see him being held back by his Grandma and whom I assume is his Grandpa beside him. I understand missing his parents every Christmas, but you can try to enjoy the holiday with your Grandparents whom seem to care about you greatly.

Thus, he doesn’t believe Santa exists and hates Christmas.

Cut back to present (hehe, puns) day where the first line we hear is a girl asking if the main character wants to spend the night with her. Everyone around them hears her, because obviously the middle of Tokyo is just so quiet, especially in the midst of Christmas, and they start gawking and chattering about what she said. She sees the blush and look of shock on the boy’s face and instantly slaps him for thinking dirty thoughts.

If there’s one thing I do know about the creator of this show, Ken Akamatsu, is that slapstick (literally) is kinda his thing, especially when it comes to males being the abuse victims.

This is completely unwarranted. This strange girl randomly walks up and the first thing out of her mouth, and the second, no less, is ‘Do you want to spend the night with me?’ ANYONE’S first thought, as portrayed by the crowd, would be instantly jumping to sexual insinuations. The main character didn’t even say anything, he just sat there with a shocked face and blushed. Yet, nope, he deserves a huge slap in the face for taking that ridiculous line and thinking it’s something dirty. Bitch.

She proclaims she’s Santa Claus and gives dreams and hopes to children, thus it’s awful to think such a thing about her, even though it was such an easily misconstrued sentence that even the cops are quickly taking her away for prostitution.

Santa got arrested for prostitution……I don’t have a joke, I just wanted to say that.

As the main character is about to leave, the girl pops up out of nowhere sans police escort and says she can detect loneliness and sadness on Christmas with her….hair antennae….Because that’s something Santa has right? She detects this in our main character, and says that, because she’s ‘Santa’ and spreads hope and dreams to children, she wants to spend the night with him to make him happier with her Santa powers—okay, now you’re just trying to sound like bad Christmas themed porn.

He runs away only to be latched onto by ‘Santa’. He keeps proclaiming that he hates Christmas and doesn’t believe in Santa, so she should just leave. She doesn’t understand how such a person could exist, so she pesters him for the reason behind his hate.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t mention the stuff with his parents first. Instead he yells that he was born on Christmas Eve and that his parents named him……Santa.

His parents…..must hate him.

I can’t really give any other explanation. The whole thing about not being there for him on Christmas is dick-ish, but maybe understandable if they had to be away for some reason. Saying they’d come home for Christmas if he was good enough was just awful. Naming him Santa is a ticket to asskicking and mocking throughout his life, let alone Christmas. Ditching him around Christmas when it’s also his birthday on Christmas eve is just terrible. Naming him Santa with all of that crap piled on top is borderline evil.

And, really, his parents named him Santa because he was born on Christmas eve? People have holiday themed names, sure. There are even people literally named ‘Christmas’ but out of all the names associated with Christmas, why choose one you really can’t recover from? One you can’t even really shoo aside with a nickname?

So….’Santa’ (the girl one) starts rolling around on the floor laughing her ass off that he’s a guy named Santa born on Christmas Eve. Yeah, you spread those hopes and dreams you bitch. And who are you to talk when you introduced yourself as freakin’ Santa Claus? Is it the whole ‘born on Christmas eve’ thing that pushed you over the edge into hilarity?

I guess we’re also supposed to take that everyone in the crowd’s laughing too since it sounds that way, but they’re not animated to be laughing.

He runs away, upset because that’s the very reaction that makes him hate Christmas—Dude, pick a lane. Do you hate Christmas and Santa because of your name and birthday or because of your insanely douchey parents?

However, girl Santa stops him, apologizes for laughing, says she’ll do anything to make him happy and begs to allow him to spend the night with her.

Seriously, you’re just doing that on purpose now.

He denies her, however, and runs away yet again.

Later, as he’s getting a drink, girl Santa arrives yet again to pester him and we get this line;

“I’ll bring you something tastier, Santa!”

She actually means, however, that she’ll dump pounds of saury on his head, because apparently another of her powers is to make things that start with ‘S’ appear from nowhere because Santa begins with S.

Airtight logic, that is.

He manages to get away again and we cut to a video arcade. Damn, I miss arcades. He’s playing a fighting game when, surprise, girl Santa pops up and says he should play a real version of that game. He gains the power of sambo, the martial art, because sambo also begins with S.

Later still, he’s gawking at a game world icon when girl Santa pops up saying a real world icon is better. She uses the power of her ‘Sample dressing room’–Okay now you’re just cheating. You can make anything a legit S word if you purposely put an S word in front of it.

“Oh gee, I’d sure love a bicycle for Christmas. But it doesn’t start with S. Hm. I know, I’d love a SUPER COOL bicycle for Christmas! *poof* Yay loopholes!”

She uses her ‘Sample’ dressing room to dress up in various outfits and tells Santa to take pictures of her. However, her outfits (and subsequent light fanservice) turns the pervy crowd’s attention to her instead of the game world icon and they start practically dogpiling on her. From how they’re bunching up on her and making grabby hands, I was expecting some huge grope fest.

They escape from the crowd only to bump into some gang leader, causing him to drop his cake. Santa offers to buy him a new one, but the gang guy says it was such a special cake that you need to order it three months in advance (?!) so he just starts beating the crap out of him.

Girl Santa won’t stand for this and kicks him in the head. She then says she and Pedro will take him on for getting in the way of her cheering up Santa. The gang believes she’s talking about Pedro San Jose, some giant guy I can’t find information on. But she’s actually talking about a small plush-toy-like Reindeer that sits on her shoulder.

Pedro the reindeer. South Park was right.

Pedro whips up a Three-Sectional Staff, because staff begins with S. I’m annoyed that they keep bringing up that these things are popping up because they start with S. We know our letters, anime. Thanks.

Isn’t this also cheating? I know S for staff, but technically the correct name for her weapon starts with T right?

She also brings up a whole bunch of other stuff that starts with S for really no reason whatsoever like a set square, a salamander, a seafood gourmet set and a samba festival.

The gang leader is sick of girl Santa’s games and starts fighting her again while Santa leaves. However, through the power of sloppy editing, he decides to also join in the fight.

He knocks out the gang leader, but the gang wants revenge. Pedro’s now powered up by the fact that Santa helped them fight, so they dump a truckload of saury on the gang, showing that his power is 30% increased.

They make their escape and we cut back to Santa’s house where girl Santa, now introduced as Mai (get it? Mai and Santa…..My Santa?) is taking a shower. Oh thank god. I was worried we wouldn’t see anyone shower in this Christmas special.

Mai says she’s A Santa Claus, implying there are several, and that she’s currently in training.

Mai tells him not to peek at her, but he says he wouldn’t anyway because of her ‘baby-ish figure’ (IE Small boobs) and that he likes women who are more filled out.

She gets insulted and points out the fact that she is more buxom when she’s transforms, but she can’t transform due to lack of power since fewer and fewer people are believing. Why…why do so many Christmas specials use the ‘Santa’s running out of power because fewer people are believing in him’ plot line? It is the plot of a bulk of Christmas specials involving Santa. It’s ridiculous.

Santa picks up Pedro, which apparently is a big nono since this prompts Mai to open the door to the shower and warn him about it, even if nothing happens. Then she throws everything she can at him for looking at her naked body when he said he wouldn’t. Another thing that is not his fault.

If someone suddenly opened the door while in the shower, it’s kinda hard not to look. But nope, he deserves to get all sorts of crap thrown at him and somehow what I think is a fridge crushing him.

See, even he points out that it’s her fault. Bitch.

Later, Mai says that she was warning him not to pick up Pedro because he tends to bite strangers. Remember that, because it never matters. Mai points out that it’s dark and empty in his apartment, and he whines some more about his birthday and Christmas. He says his parents are always away on work related stuff and never come home all year round. Wow, really? They never even visit? These guys are total asswipes.

He also says he never has anyone to celebrate any holidays with because of this even though, again, his freakin’ Grandparents, at the very least his Grandma, seem to have taken care of him and were there for him on holidays.

Him saying that he’s always alone over and over prompts a flashback to his mother calling him on Christmas apologizing for not being able to make it but saying that she always thinks of him and loves him. I should mention that child-Santa is being held up by his loving grandmother as he’s on the phone and is even holding the phone for him because he’s having a massive attack of uber-drama.

Immediately after that shot we see him with his special Christmas cake while sitting next to his loving Grandmother.

He says a present he received this year was a photo of his parents happily standing with to a bunch of happy children……Are his parents Satan? Is that really why they named him Santa? So they have that big letter shifting plot twist where he discovers what his family really is? Because that is just…..wow. So horrible.

Mai asks if he has any friends to spend the holiday with. He says he has some, but they ask him to take pictures of them, yet no one asks to see his pictures. This is somehow grounds for saying they constantly take advantage of him. Ever think they may not ask to see your Christmas related photos because they know how upset you might get about it? Considering you really have none? Or do you mean photos in general? Maybe they’re not interested in photography.

Mai hugs him and says her Grandpa and others must’ve known about him for years yet never did anything about it….for no reason. Yeah, that’ll make him want to support Santas. However, she says she’ll stay with him through the holidays and even wants to make him a birthday party.

We get our commercial break eyecatch that even includes Ken Akamatsu’s name in the corner. Because he’s really proud of this for some reason.

Cut back to Santa and Mai where she’s actually created a really nice last minute party for him. It’s only the two of them, but it’s still well decorated. And look, she made him all sorts of food. I’m sure it’s delicious, because the whole ‘can’t cook worth a crap’ cliché is way too overdone for Mr. Akamatsu—oh look the food’s horrible.

To be fair, that is the funniest shot of the OVA, but you’d think he’d realize that it would be awful beforehand because the food certainly didn’t look appetizing.

I mean, come on, that plate to the left looks like raw sewage and it has an eyeball in it! Plus, I can’t imagine any of that smells pleasant. What is wrong with him?

I’m even more confused by this because can’t she just magically make food appear? At least food that begins with S? She made human beings appear from nothing, surely she can poof up some GOOD strawberry shortcake….steak….sausages….shellfish….squash. You get the idea.

He says he’ll eat the rest after nearly passing out from one bite and accidentally shoves the food in her mouth, causing a violent spicy reaction. So….what is actually wrong with the food? Is it disgusting, super spicy or both? And why did she say he tricked her into eating it? He didn’t trick her; he accidentally shoved it in her mouth while trying to sit up.

He laughs and seems like he’s having fun. He even says that, despite the fact that Mai has no boobs, at least he’s with a girl. Mai gets understandably mad. She made you a nice party and then you turn around and call her flatchested? Jerk.

Then she starts blathering that she spends all her time training to be a Santa and has no time to even find a boyfriend.

Prompted by absolutely nothing, Mai demands that he show her his sweetheart and snatches his wallet from…his shirt? First off, this is the first mention that he has a sweetheart. I have no clue why she even thought he had one considering he keeps going on about how alone he is. Second, what guy keeps their wallet in their shirt?

He does indeed have a sweetheart, but it’s just a crush on his senpai. He then laments that she probably has a date right now, being Christmas eve. Will you cheer up, there, Charlie Brown?

Mai then asks if he knows what Christmas really is. He says it’s the birthday of Jesus Christ. She says he’s right. Even though others are preoccupied with dates and gifts, they’re celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ….It really bothers me when Christmas specials just flippantly mix Jesus and Santa versions of Christmas. I guess there’s nothing inherently wrong with it…unless you’re that BC special I reviewed last year, but it’s just so weird.

It’s been nothing but Santa talk this whole special and now all of a sudden we’re talkin’ Jesus. It’s even weirder because her power runs on people believing in Santa, yet many Christian/Catholic families don’t like to spread the Santa story to their children because they feel it takes away from the recognition of Jesus’ birthday.

She tells Santa to look out at the lights of the city and realize that someone under those lights cares about him and is thinking of him that very moment. Santa instantly agrees because one pep talk reverses 16-ish years of emotional trauma, and Santa says Mai must be some kind of holy person. She says she is, of course, a holy person since she’s Santa Claus….Santa’s a holy person now? Well, he is based on a saint, I suppose.

Santa basically rolls his eyes and nods along with her while Mai vehemently states that she is a Santa Claus. Dude, how much magic has she done in front of you? Is it really that hard to believe that she’s actually Santa?

She pesters him about believing that she’s Santa Claus. Whether it be to get her off his back or because he actually does believe, he agrees that she’s Santa. Once that’s settled, she tells him to close his eyes and kisses him. She tells him that Santa Clauses are able to transfer happiness to another person through kissing, so he’ll be super happy now….Why didn’t you just do that before then?

Just then, Santa’s crush, Minako, calls him up inviting him to a party. He’s super excited about the invitation and graciously accepts, but Mai hangs up the phone in the middle of his conversation. He’s angered by her actions, but she says that it’s her magic and only his dream….Yeah, his dream….of being happy on Christmas….with his crush….that you just hung up on.

Santa scoffs at the concept of magic and says she’s old enough to distinguish reality from fantasy. Santa’s magic doesn’t exist in this world, and he’ll never believe that it does unless Santa himself stands before him…Dude. She has done tons of magic in front of you. What is your deal? Are you blind? Some of the stuff she did could be magic tricks, but she made fish rain from the sky! What evidence do you need?…..Granted, none of what she’s done so far could really be called ‘Santa magic’ but still.

Mai is incredibly upset at this and says she did everything she’s done for him tonight because she fell in love with him….You’ve known him for no less than two maybe three hours. And all he’s done is yell and mope about his dickhead parents the entire time. You had that one laugh at the party, that’s it. Are you really that hard up for a boyfriend?

She runs off and Santa also runs off saying he’ll never believe in Santa or magic (*sigh*) He runs to the party that his crush is attending, and she reveals that she didn’t call him. Santa realizes it was Mai’s ‘magic’ that…I dunno, fabricated the phone call and conversation to invite Santa down to the party because she knew they really wanted him there? Oh so that’s proof she has magic, but not the other stuff. Yeah okay, Santa.

Also, doesn’t this just raise the question of, if Mai’s the one who made the phone call…why did she hang up?

Anyway, the group proclaims that they’ve invited him to Christmas parties numerous times and he just prefers to be alone so they were surprised he arrived. See? It’s not the other people who are the problem, it’s Santa. He’s so hellbent on wanting his jackass parents around for Christmas that he denies everyone around him who actually want to celebrate with him. He complains about not having anyone to celebrate with when he turns down all offers. He’s not content being a Grinch – he actively pursues it.

And why was he so excited to be invited to the party if Makino and the others invited him to parties several times yet turned them down?

They decide that since he finally decided to join them for a change that they’ll take this opportunity to celebrate Santa’s birthday alongside Christmas eve. Then we get a flashback telling us that Santa has indeed had big parties for his birthday and Christmas every year with huge crowds of kids and his grandmother.

…………………..YOU FRIGGIN’ LIAR! You spent the last 20 minutes telling us how you were all alone for Christmas and your birthday every year and yet we get a flashback to this

and one of his friends saying this happened every year when they were younger.

Oh but Mai’s narration is like ‘You have people who want to want to be with you. You just never noticed.’ Oh yeah he sure looks like he doesn’t notice the huge room of people singing to him and dancing with him celebrating his birthday and Christmas with him. I can see how that’d be hard to miss. I never even had a birthday party like that. What a massive steaming load.

Santa suddenly feels guilty for telling Mai off and excuses himself from the party to apologize to her. As he’s leaving, his friends keep saying they’ll be waiting for him. Yeah, they sure sound like they take advantage of you, you ass.

Back with Mai at the town Christmas tree where they first met, Mai is lamenting over her night….and seriously, they really couldn’t have known each other for more than a few hours considering it’s still the same night and the same people are on the street. She says she gave all of her power to Santa and hopes he’s finally found a little happiness.

Santa arrives on the scene and apologizes to her. He says he’s not deserving of her happiness power and gives it back by giving her a kiss at the strike of midnight. This prompts her magical girl transformation sequence, and it’s probably one of the dumbest I’ve seen.

She’s becoming a true Santa, I guess, and in order to be that, I guess, she needs a bigger ass, bigger boobs (both of which grow before our eyes) and a sexy Santa outfit from Party City. She also seems to grow taller, get blue eyes, blond hair and a deeper voice. Because those are definite staples of every Santa….???

Pedro also transforms into an actual reindeer and a sleigh comes out of nowhere.

Santa apologizes again, even for calling her flatchested….the only reason you’re apologizing for that is because she’s got a huge rack now. Mai takes him out on the sleigh to deliver presents. She kisses all the kids on the head as she leaves their rooms….which just makes this creepier than the actual Santa myth.

♪ He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he breaks into your house and kisses you in your bed. ♪

Mai asks if there’s anything Santa wants for Christmas, and that she can make it happen as long as it begins with S…..Gee I hope all those kids wished for toys that began with S….and if they did, that’s insanely convenient.

He says no……wha—wish to be with your parents you dumb sack of reindeer crap. It should be pretty easy to tag an S onto that. Mai takes him to some…it’s not an orphanage because the kids have parents…Schoo–No, they’re living there……dayca….someplace with a lot of kids from poor families and explains how, despite the fact that they can’t get an education to become their dreams, like doctors, they have *gasp* Santa’s parents there for them to teach them.

They’re….news photographers? How will that help that kid be a doctor? They traveled the world and realized the kids needed their help, so they decided to sacrifice their desire to be with their son because they have to stay in whatever country this is to help the kids.

……But honestly, they can’t visit? Not even once? It’s a nice sentiment but still a major dick move. They basically sacrificed their son’s childhood and every moment they could’ve had with him growing up, just to…do something never adequately explained for these kids.

These kids have parents, they have housing, they have food, what’s keeping Santa’s parents from just visiting their son once in his entire life? Why wouldn’t they ever think to save up for a plane ticket and invite him there to spend the holidays with all the kids?

And I would say ‘don’t tell me that Santa never knew about this’, but either way it’s stupid. If he did never know about this, then that makes his parents out to look even worse because they never bothered to explain how important whatever they’re doing is for these kids, and they just sent him a random Christmas picture of them with happy kids to their unhappy kid back home.

If he did know about it, then he’s incredibly selfish and immature. Sure, it sucks to never see your parents, especially on your birthday or Christmas, but if you know that they’re doing it for the sake of some poor kids, if you know that they still love you and miss you deeply and still try to contact you whenever they can, then eventually you mature and understand.

You talk with them on the phone whenever you can, exchange photos and take the love of those around you as much as possible. You don’t basically become a big fat Shinji-Grinch and claim to hate Christmas and your birthday and then mope about how no one wants to spend those special holidays with you, especially when it’s shown that you do and have celebrated just fine in the past with huge groups of people, friends and family alike!

Just then, Santa’s mom calls him to tell him the same things she always does – she can’t be there for Christmas, she’s sorry but she loves him and misses him dearly. Santa interrupts and says he’s not a baby anymore. He now understands that their work is important and, while he misses them, he roots for them to achieve their goals with the kids.

The call is interrupted because more bad editing (also, how did Santa’s parents not see or hear them? They were right behind them and he was taking the call while he was ten feet away. Does her magic make them invisible and inaudible?) as we cut to the next scene.

Outside with Mai and Santa, she tells him that they sent pictures of them with the kids every year to let him know how much their work means to the kids. They sent him a camera so he could send them pictures of himself and his friends back……So, yeah….all of this is really Santa’s fault.

As a kid, it’s more understandable, even if that screenshot from before is pretty dramatized even for a kid, but he’s in college or something now. He’s held onto a dumb childish grudge just because he wanted to. He was unhappy because he kept purposely looking for reasons to be unhappy.

He thanks Mai for bringing him to the….homeless shelter? For kids? I still don’t know. And he wishes a merry Christmas to his Grandma, his parents and his friends back home…..who, by the way, are still waiting for him to return….and it’s probably been hours….Dick.

They then run into a whole slue of Santas….because….it makes for a cool shot?

Also, I guess multiple Santas at least helps the whole issue of it not being feasible that Santa could visit every single house in the world in one night, but it still raises a lot of other questions.

Santa puts his head in Mai’s lap—Whoa there, bro. She only LOOKS like a prostitute.

He asks if he’ll see her again, and she says she’ll visit next year and bring him a gift if he’s good. Then Santa restates word for word the opening narration about believing in Santa, but he follows it up by saying that people should just keep the faith, because Santa is indeed real. If Santa is real….why do parents pretend to be him? Why don’t parents question where the kids get random gifts on Christmas?

The end.

Our ending credits show still shots of Mai and the other female Santa who flew by them in a couple costumes.

After the credits, we get a short scene with Mai, now back to her regular form, at Santa’s door stating she can’t get back home because she used up all of her magic power the night before. So I guess she has to stay with Santa until she gets enough power again.

http://www.sadtrombone.com/

Here’s where things get….different. Apparently, only this episode was based on the manga. The other was specifically made for the anime. They basically forced continuation on the story for no reason. And…I don’t even see what this next episode has to do with Christmas from the preview because it looks like it takes place in summer and is a beach episode.

Art and Animation: The art is passable. The animation is poor in most spots, and the editing is flat out terrible. It was produced by Three Fat Samurai, who don’t seem to have many series under their belts, and the only other series from them that I recognize is Papa to Kiss in the Dark, another thing I need to tackle, but I don’t know if I’ll be in the mood for that squickiness.

Music: Nothing special.

Voice Acting: Japanese – It was somewhat flat, actually. It didn’t seem like they were really putting much effort into their roles except maybe Mai’s VA, but she was a little annoying.

Bottom Line: This is a stupid, nonsensical mess of a Christmas special. Santa is just a mopey sad sack, and, in the end, most of his so-called problems with Christmas are his own fault. Mai’s pushy and falls in love with Santa way too quickly, not to mention predictably and stupidly. She has a kind heart, but that’s about it. Everything about the story is insanely stupid and directly contradicts itself many times. Not to mention that they don’t even explain what these Santas really are.

Christmas specials have a certain right in being cheesy and even having an unbelievable story, but this doesn’t even seem to capture the feeling of Christmas, despite the fact that ‘Santa’ and ‘Christmas’ are said so many times you’d think it was produced in the North Pole.

It does no real damage in terms of message, it’s just a waste of time. You’d be much better off watching a Christmas special for basically any other anime, even if you’ve never seen the rest of the show. I’m pretty much wishing I had reviewed Tokyo Godfathers this Christmas instead.

Additional Information and Notes: Itsudatte My Santa! was directed by Noriyoshi Nakamura, who also directed numerous episodes of Mister Ajikko, and it was based on a manga by Ken Akamatsu. It was produced by TNK, and is currently licensed in the US by Funimation.

Episodes: 2

Year: 2005

Recommended Audience: A few shots of boobs, one or two bare ass shots, because nudity’s needed in Christmas specials right? Other than that, nothing. 14+

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