The Salty Anime Challenge Day 5: What is Something That You Would Change in Your Least Favourite Anime That Would Make You Like It?

Everything.

Come on, have some mercy. I chose Eiken for this. EIKEN. I could write a college thesis for this entry.

Alright, alright.

The main thing that I really think would’ve helped Eiken be better is I wish Eiken had been more self-aware and had been more of a parody of ecchi instead of being one of the worst examples of it. It seems like it’s trying to go there sometimes because the jokes are just so obvious and in your face that you think it has to be a parody, but it’s not. They’re just lazy and making the stupidest and most obvious jokes they can.

They had the foundation for a parody right in the premise. Those ginormous boobs could’ve been a parody in themselves, but nope. They’re just used as really poorly made fanservice.

Truth be told, I can’t even understand how the people with a massive boob fetish get into this. The overall art and animation are terrible (manga included) and the colors are so ugly it’s like someone’s jamming randomly selected crayons into my eye sockets.

Look at these uniforms.

 

Yellow. Lime Green. Red. And Purple. What are the bows even about? They look so awkwardly placed.

I’m going to stop myself now because I’m going off into another Eiken tangent. I just don’t understand anything about this show’s existence.

The Salty Anime Challenge – Day 1: Least Favorite Anime

Not pulling any punches, eh? Questions like this always throw me because I’ll think I have a lock on it, but then I’ll remember another show later that deserves the spot even more.

I have some nominees for this category like 6 Angels, Skelter Heaven, Amnesia, Baldr.exe, Shining Tears x Wind. I felt my criteria should be a show I would never watch ever again. I thought I had backed myself into a corner because nearly every entry is something I could return to again for one reason or another if I absolutely had to….But then I remembered…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bananas.

I mean Eiken.

Fuck. This. Show.

Never have I felt more robbed of an hour of my life. I went into this show obviously knowing it would be bad – you can tell from the cover art that it’s stupid – but not this level of soul-poisoning horribleness.

I’ve seen people defend this show by saying it’s just a goofy stupid ecchi show and it’s so bad it’s funny.

Nononono. Skelter Heaven is so bad it’s kinda funny. 6 Angels is so bad it’s kinda funny. Even Mad Bull 34 has moments where it’s so bad it’s kinda funny. Eiken is so bad I could hear my brain pleading for mercy the entire time I was watching it.

It’s not even that it’s ridiculously overblown ecchi with some of the biggest chest weights you could ever witness – it’s the sheer laziness and repetitiveness of it all. There are three jokes in this OVA.

“Wow, that’s funny because she has big boobs.”

*Slapstick so unrealistic even cartoonists from the 1920’s would ask what you’re smoking resulting in some obvious visual innuendo or groping*

Bananas are funny because they look like dicks.

Yeah, I’m using an old meme. If they’re gonna be lazy, so can I.

It is an hour of anti-humor. I know I mentioned in my review of Eiken episode two that it didn’t seem worse than 6 Angels because I could understand what’s going on, but my views have changed. The non-sensical nature of 6 Angels may actually help it because if I can’t understand what’s going on then I can just laugh at everything ridiculous going on around me. I can understand what’s happening in Eiken, and that means I have to pay attention and be enraged instead.

I humored the idea of giving Eiken the AniManga Clash treatment, but not only would that require me to re-watch the series, but I’d also be obligated to reading the manga.

The manga.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The manga……

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE 18 VOLUME MANGA!

I’m sorry. I’d like to avoid brain aneurysms as much as possible, thanks.

Shameless plug – want to get the full low down on my views of this anime in a beat-by-beat breakdown?

Here are my full reviews to each episode.

Eiken Episode 1

Eiken Episode 2

Runner UpColorful (The Series) Would’ve made it if it actually made me feel any emotions besides the desire to nap.

Eiken Episode 2 Review

rwqtefp

Breakdown: Warning: This review contains screencaps and language that might not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised.

To give myself a short break from this series, I decided to go over the English voice actor list. The acting thus far has been pretty damn bad. Not some of the worst I’ve heard, but you can clearly tell that practically no one except maybe Kirika’s VA really gives a crap….and I can’t say I blame them. If there was ever a voice acting project outside of hentai that screamed ‘I really needed a paycheck’ it’s Eiken.

Chiharu’s VA is credited as Becky Chiang, but it’s really Stephanie Steh. She has a very long list of acting credits including Mamimi from FLCL, Orihime from Bleach, Hinata Hyuuga from Naruto, Usagi from Viz’s Sailor Moon dub, and Penny from Zatch Bell. So she’s really comfortable playing crybabies and shy girls.

Densuke is played by Bryce Papenbrook. I really only recognize him as young Vash from Trigun, Shugo from .Hack//Twilight, Ikko from Ah my Buddah!, and Eren from the dub of Attack on Titan, but I’ve never really watched the dubbed version of AoT. Though, considering I know him best as Shugo and none of these roles seem to display much range, I feel like that would be an awful voice for Eren, but I’m not one to judge.

Kirika’s VA is Cindy Robinson who, despite having a decent lengthy resume, I can’t really recognize from anything. The only ones that stick out are Tsunami from Naruto and Queen Beryl from Viz’s dub of Sailor Moon.

Komoe and Kyoko’s VA (And them sharing a VA is basically proof that these two are supposed to be mirror loli fodder just with different chest sizes) is Rebecca Forstadt, who has a similar issue in her roles. I really only recognize her as Pai from 3×3 Eyes in the Streamline dub, even though I’ve never watched the dub. I should mention, however, that Komoe’s voice is one of the worst out of the bunch.

Here’s where it starts to hurt because Grace is voiced by Mona Marshall…….Mona….freakin’…Marshall. Kite from .Hack, Toboe from Wolf’s Rain, and, yes, Izzy from Digimon. I weep for you, Mona Marshall. I weep…

Yuriko is voiced by Jessica Gee, who really only seems to do video game work now, but I noticed that she also had a part in De:Vadasy…..that’s a whole other can of worms I don’t even want to think about right now.

Finally, Teacher is voiced by Kathy Keller. I find her resume to be the funniest because, outside of Eiken, she has had zero roles in anything else for voice acting. Think about it, she’s voicing Teacher, who feels like she’s ignored and forgotten. She only has this one role to her name and otherwise completely vanished from the VA world. What a coincidence.

Alright, enough lollygagging (Am I doing it again or is my mind becoming so messed up by this show that I ruined that word forever for me?), let’s get to to second half of Eiken so we can finally be done forever.

———————

Our first shot is of a banana peel…….We get narration from our main character, Densuke, as he explains facts about his school, Zashono Academy. The building of which is also a big ol’ phallic symbol—Okay, what’s with the Deja vu?

Actually, we see the school and the city around it covered in decorations for the games and we hear Densuke explaining that a lot has happened in….the past day…..this was included over a shot of his first meeting with Chiharu…..Implying….that he’s only been there a day….

Shima talks with Chiharu for a bit and she says she needs to go back to the others to participate in the games because she has a responsibility to the Eiken club. Then Shima wipes off some of the yogurt from Chiharu’s face with his index finger because it’s a stand-in for man-milk………………Chiharu’s braids are way shorter than her actual hair length is……..Hm……Oh what was I saying?

Cut back to Densuke who wants to find Chiharu but not before Kirika plops her punching bags on Densuke’s head again while eating a banana. Komoe does that stupid floppy dance thing again while trying to hold onto a really long white and seemingly dripping phallic symbol I can’t even identify. I would say it’s a peeled banana, but it’s way too long and they never say what it is.

Komoe slips on a banana peel – for the love of god, how many times am I going to need to repeat that? She beats the crap out of Densuke’s face with her can-cans, and afterward they somehow end up with Komoe’s face in Densuke’s crotch.

Time for theme song! Yay! I get a break again!

Boo, why’s it over?

Anyway, the next event is up and the game is to get a ball across a pool without using your hands…..Oh gee…I wonder what this will lead to.

Eiken part 2 screen 2.png

We see Kirika eating another banana….can you please just give it a rest? I actually thought Kirika would be entertaining given her entrance, but, outside of that, all she does is stand there with products from Phallic-Food Co. in her mouth, never actually taking a bite, and putting her bam bams on Densuke’s head.

Yuriko is rubbing what I think is suntan lotion all over Densuke to get him to admit that he likes her awoogas better than Chiharu’s when the same orange double balloon blimp that has been flying around for the entire series starts to land. It’s the arrival of the winners from the previous games….Have they been floating around in the sky for no reason this entire time?

Oh now Kirika’s cutting the BS and is purposely moving the banana back and forth in her mouth for no reason. Comedy gold.

The winner from last year is, SHOCK BEYOND SHOCKS, Shima who is now wearing a speedo and is surrounded by a harem of six literally identical girls in maid outfits and glasses. Oh good, I was worried we wouldn’t get the maid outfit trope in there.

Eiken part 2 screen 3

Wait…if this is a series of events and the cumulative wins determine the winner….why is Shima just showing up now? Two events have already gone by and there can’t be that many left. Is he that…..*sigh*….Is he that cocky that he’d come in so late believing he’d win the rest of the remaining games in hopes that might be enough to win? Why is he even allowed to enter now? I know this is pointless to talk about, but it allows me to hit the pause button. Floobedy doobedee.

We also learn that Shima specifically came back from studying in America just to compete in these games…wow. Hope you’re getting your airfare’s worth, buddy.

Densuke is now in a girl’s swimsuit because I don’t know. I guess the Eiken team may only have girl swimsuits and Densuke doesn’t own one of his own, but that doesn’t explain why he has a pink beaded elastic in his hair now. And, no, it’s not to keep his hair out of his eyes in the pool because it doesn’t affect his bangs at all and is just a small side pony.

Get ready for a twist – Shima’s not doing the event with one of his clone maid girls, he’s doing the event with Chiharu!

rainbow-dash-dun-dun-dunn-o

I have no idea why I keep getting irritated by these moronic plot developments, but really? She was so mad at Densuke for something I don’t even think he did, had any control over or was properly established at all that she abandoned her friends on the Eiken team to join Shima? You’re a dumbass bimbo, Chiharu.

It’s Shima and Chiharu’s turn to, for lack of a better term, position the ball between them. He decides to, for lack of a better term, put the ball in her mouth and then pretend to kiss her when they’re holding the ball between their mouths.

The event starts, and Shima and Chiharu take an early lead while Densuke’s too freaked out by Yuriko’s bowling balls to move faster than them.

Shima embraces Chiharu further and puts the ball between their cheeks instead to move faster.

Shima: “Let’s pick up the pace by moving faster.”…..That….is typically….how you pick up….pace…I….what?

Oh and by the way….this entire scene is now full of rape-ish implications because Shima keeps going further with his advances, putting the ball between her goal posts and keeping his nose on it, all the while she’s screaming that she doesn’t like it and she’s embarrassed and scared and also while she’s moaning……

In addition, all of the teams are stopped for no reason while this happens seemingly just to get more fanservice in.

Eiken part 2 screen 4

Chiharu remembers Densuke’s promise that he’d protect her again, only this time making the promise that he’d protect her from Shima, so she reaches out for Densuke, but he’s preoccupied. I guess Yuriko worked the ball down to his crotch and is now rubbing his crotch with her face and the ball while she uses her hands to rub his ass. What else do you expect, really?

We cut away to after the race because no one bothered to write anymore of that scene. Shima apologizes to Chiharu for pushing her too hard, but he claims he just wanted to cheer her up. Yes, cheer her up by forcing her to do stuff she doesn’t want to do and by using the event as an excuse to molest her.

Shima hugs her and thinks to himself that all he wants is to make Chiharu smile. Then we get an odd and out of place pause for like four seconds where absolutely nothing is happening or is being said. I actually thought the video didn’t buffer enough when this scene came up.

Densuke pops up out of the bushes, and Shima congratulates him on winning second place, which I guess means they won first. It’s called ‘Show, don’t tell’, Eiken. It’s one of the most basic concepts in visual storytelling.

The next event is starting and I can’t wait to see what fresh slice of hell is waiting….Oh it’s….just a running race from one island to another since the tides are out enough to show the land beneath it….Huh….this might not be so bad. Oh it’s an obstacle course!……getting slightly more worried now.

The first obstacle involves crossing a pool..…

bqgmaik

…..where a bunch of chocolate covered bananas–

d638zix

*sigh* Urgggh, where a bunch of chocolate covered bananas are waiting for them, and they have to keep the bananas in their mouths until they reach the next obstacle.

Meanwhile, Shima talks to Densuke about liking Chiharu and states that he wants to go out with her. Kirika shows up WITHOUT A PHALLIC SHAPED FOOD!? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! D: She says that the final event will decide which one of them gets Chiharu.

In case you’re just tuning in, the series just basically stated full out that Chiharu was a prize….property to be won. Chiharu gets no say in the matter. They don’t even ask her opinion while they’re discussing this. They just agree to those terms and prepare for the game.

Back at the games, the racers are running to the bananas and clone maid #227 from Shima’s team can’t get this bafflingly large chocolate covered banana into her throat enough to get a good grasp on it and says she can ‘usually handle this size’…..I didn’t really think they could get lazier, but there they go. Grace pops up for the first time in ever to show her how its done and slowly gets a good chunk of it down smoothly. I still weep for you, Mona Marshall. Learn from your mistakes, please.

By the way, is there any reason they can’t carry the bananas sideways like any normal person would? Oh right, then it wouldn’t look like a BJ.…

Eiken part 2 screen 5

Back with the others, Kirika says that, in addition to Densuke getting Chiharu as a prize for winning (urgh), Shima has to ‘back off’ of the Eiken club……………………………What? He’s been in one event and like two separate scenes, none of which involved any other Eiken members besides Yuriko, Densuke and Chiharu. This is the first scene we’ve ever seen of him and Kirika together. In addition, he’s been in America for at least a year. What exactly is he doing to the Eiken club that’s so annoying? Is there some homework I wasn’t assigned before watching this?

Densuke’s nervous because he doesn’t think he can win. He wipes the sweat off of his face, and Chiharu points out that he’s wiping off his face with her panties again…….How? Just how? Why does he have those with him? I mean, stupid as it was, at least that joke made sense in the fountain because her panties came off in the fountain, but why does he have them now? Did he keep them on him for….gross and wrong reasons? If so-

Densuke gains another lead in the Ecchi Creepiness Olympics! It’s still anyone’s game, especially with a new contender in our possible sexual predator, Shima, but it’s looking good for Densuke. I haven’t seen a creepiness competition this intense since the battle of Kimura from Azumanga Daioh vs. the teacher from DearS! That reminds me, I could actually be watching anything but this right now. Back to you in the studio!

Komoe’s up in the obstacle course, mostly just doing her shtick of bouncing bob-ombs. When we cut back to Densuke who is feeling down in the dumps about his odds in the competition, feeling that he has no chance against Shima because he’s so super hot and stuff. He tells Yuriko that all he wanted was to win the games to buy Chiharu a present and looks at…..Chiharu’s panties in his hands again. Why did you keep those?! Chiharu didn’t run away that time to my knowledge. When you realized what you had in your hand, did you just stuff them back into your girl swimsuit hoping she wouldn’t notice?

Eiken part 2 screen 6

Wow, it certainly seems like Densuke’s the crowd favorite for the Ecchi Creepiness Olympics now! Things are really heating up, but we still have about fifteen minutes left! Can he hold this lead until the ending theme starts?

Cut back to the obstacle course where it’s now Teacher’s turn to go at it, and her challenge is to sit in an inner tube and float down a pool. Okay, an excuse to show lots of asses and crotches……I’ll bite, what’s the catch?

I tell you the catch….eels. Or to put it in more common terms, tentacle hentai. Yes, there are eels in the pool and their only function in the obstacle course is to swim up into the contenders’ bikini bottoms. Again, I’m pretty sure Teacher’s doing this one because the more hardcore ecchi stuff is possibly relegated to older characters.

Back with Densuke, he’s still moping and, instead of offering actual support, Yuriko strips down naked, hugs Densuke and keeps hitting on him. What a slut. Actually, she’s a slut and a bitch because she realizes Densuke feels like crap right now and likes Chiharu and she realizes Chiharu likes Densuke back yet she still does this crap.

It’s Kyoko’s turn, IE, the only character who is not entirely annoying to watch’s turn, but surprisingly she doesn’t do anything but win with her big mech which should totally be cheating, but no one says a thing about it.

Eiken part 2 screen 7

Back with Densuke, Yuriko gives Densuke her bra and tells him to win the competition to win her heart forever. Bitch, please. You’re such a horny whore bag you’d probably go through the Kama Sutra with him if he breathed in your general direction. Also, this is the second time it’s been implied that Yuriko keeps molesting him to the point where he actually ‘finishes’.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

Eiken Episode 1 Review

gbolp6t

Plot: Boing, boing, boing, banana, boing.

Breakdown: Warning – This review contains screencaps and language that is not suitable for younger audiences. Reader discretion is advised.

I’ve been wanting to review this series for some time now mostly because I see this as the pinnacle of pandering in terms of fetish anime…….except maybe Seikon no Qwazer, but one brain aneurysm at a time.

There are a lot of ecchi shows out there that bank on fanservice alone, but this is basically Fanservice: The Series. It’s not even like regular fanservice – it’s specifically nothing but fanservice aimed at people who have a thing for ridiculously huge breasts. Not just anime ridiculous breasts, but like ‘How are they not dead by now?’ breasts.

Because I think it would be redundant and/or short to just write off this series based on that, I decided I would be kind enough to walk you through both episodes of Eiken. Ready your bras.

Episode 1: The first shot of the first episode is of a banana peel on the floor. See, bananas are phallic symbols…..That’s all I got.

We get narration from our main character, Densuke, as he explains facts about his school, Zashono Academy – the building of which is also a big ol’ phallic symbol.

EIKEN 1.png

Also, it’s Den-Skay. Little to no emphasis on the ‘su’ part. Not Den-Su-kay, dub. He’s basically every male protagonist in every harem ever. Modest, bland character design, practically no personality and he’s completely forgettable.

As we see our first shot of Densuke, we also see a good chunk of the female student body, and not one of them has a cup size below DD.

EIKEN 2.png

Also, what the crap is up with those uniforms? This is like Kaichou wa Maid-sama levels of ugly. The boys have normal dark clothing yet the girls get fugly yellow, green and purple garbage. At least it doesn’t involve plaid, but that sweater vest isn’t helping any.

A girl runs into him, and they both fall over due to the banana peel from earlier (Damn kids and their banana peels. Haven’t they ever seen a comedy sketch!?) And somehow someway this causes her to fall on her back and him to fall on top of her. Physics, what’s that? They even show the fall in slow motion, because we really needed to see her teddy bear panties, and he’s clearly falling backwards on his back and she’s falling forward on her front, making the mistake even more obvious.

Apparently he’s a kid that a lot of people are gossiping about because he scored highest on the entrance exams to this supposedly prestigious academy because that’s what they yell when they see him fall over. That will never matter, but enjoy that information.

He realizes that he’s not just on top of the girl, he’s squeezing her shirt balloons. Her tatas are also so big and squishy that his hands are practically melting into them. I don’t have a chest quite so comically large, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t happen.

EIKEN 3

The others are getting on his case for groping the girl, Chiharu, and, even though it was an accident, I actually find it justified because even after he realizes what he’s touching he still squeezes them twice.

A mech comes flying out of nowhere with a girl, Kirika, riding on the side with a shot of her bra weights literally flapping in the wind. She has ridiculously long purple hair and seems to have the biggest bazongas thusfar.

EIKEN 4

You’ll also note that they had to get Phallic Symbol High in a better shot in the background with her too.

She tells Densuke that he’s been selected to join their club, the Eiken club, or as the dub likes to call it the Ai-ken club. Because why learn proper Japanese pronunciation when dubbing a Japanese show? That’s just silly.

She kidnaps him and tries to force him to sign up I guess because he literally is the perfect description of a Gary Stu character, and most importantly, not joking, because he touched another club member, Chiharu’s, ‘extra F-cup boobies’. I’ve been trying to avoid that word for comedic effect and moderate censoring (because I really don’t want the SEO of this blog post to be 80% keyword – boobies) but that is a direct quote from the show.

She eventually forces him to sign with his thumb print by forcing him down on the paper and sitting on his head. And she wears no underwear. You can’t see anything, but you can plainly tell.

As the deal is sealed we get our opening theme song. The song itself is completely generic and forgettable. The background animation is blah, but the main character runs through a generic background as he bumps into the various members of Eiken. Oh, they’re giant versions of the members and he always bumps into their hot air balloons.

EIKEN 5

After that, we see Chiharu standing behind the same background as the wind gently blows both her hair and her chimmichangas around. Okay, look, I gave a pass to the whole Kirika thing on the mech because the wind was likely really intense as she flew around and I would suppose something like that might be possible with winds that strong (I sincerely doubt it, but I don’t think Mythbusters would tackle this one), but come on. There’s not understanding milk balloon physics and being concerned that the people behind this have never seen or felt real ones before. They’re not made of the same material as flags!

Blah blah panty shots, blah blah random girl crotching Densuke to the face, blah blah random hula hoop session for all the characters to make their watermelons bounce around some more while simultaneously giving us plenty of panty shots. Also, Densuke looks ridiculous during this whole thing.

EIKEN 6

Blah blah making the credits bounce on one of the girl’s oingo boingos. Can we end now? Thank you.

Densuke’s alone in some building with some woman, and the dialogue is making it seem like like they’re about to do the bedroom tango. What they’re really doing is some insanely dumb form of fortune telling where they crawl around on the floor and try to pass a rose between their lips. If it falls or something, she can then tell his fortune. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Anyway, he doesn’t put the rose in her mouth and she says from the way the rose fell that he’s going to suffer misfortune, be beaten up and some opposing character will cause him grief.

Cut to later, oh and there’s a double balloon blimp in the sky. Guess why. Because they look like boo–

Densuke gets called over by his friends to look in a window and we see the female student body having their physicals with all of them being topless and/or braless talking about how big Chiharu’s chichis are.

He gets caught. and Kirika’s practically impressed that he’s a peeping tom….Kirika’s weird.

I’m gonna take a time out here to say the art is awful. I won’t go so far as to say it’s some of the worst I’ve seen but ew. If you’re going to get into the business of ecchi, at least be skilled enough in art to make things visually appealing. Between the stupid designs only blown up to ludicrous due to their chest sizes and the gross color schemes, no wonder even people who like even the stupidest of ecchi hate this show.

BATBBMWSCREEN6

Now’s as good a time as any to get the intros to the other club members out of the way.

The person behind the mech and a lot of other weird tech things around, like what looks like a nuke and a….giant bear thing…Don’t ask questions, just move on – is a girl named Kyoko who is actually flatchested (Alert the media.) I would say that this is due to her age as she’s the second youngest of the group, but there’s another girl named Komoe who is actually younger than Kyoko and she has the same case of ‘parachuteforabra-itis’ that the other girls have. I guess we needed two loli characters – one for the ones with a chest fetish, the other for those who don’t.

I will also mention that the Wiki page was kind enough to actually provide the worryingly precise chest measurements of all of the girls in the series…..Just in case you needed to know that vital information.

The fortune teller from earlier is named Grace and she also doesn’t have particularly huge human utters.

And then there’s Sensei, who doesn’t have any name beyond ‘Sensei’ or in the dub ‘Teacher’. Her shtick is that she’s a whiny basketcase.

Finally we have the characters we’ve already met, Kirika, the psycho who apparently loves perversion, and Chiharu the shy one.

These characters are so paint-by-numbers that they’re friggin color coded. Not kidding at all. Chiharu has red hair, Kirika has purple, Kyoko has light blue, Grace has blond, Komoe has bright pink and Sensei has green.

Densuke tries to help Komoe get something in a high cabinet (Geez, those cabinets are like 7 feet off the ground, who built this place?) As they try something new, Kirika walks by….sucking on a banana.

BATBBMWSCREEN7

Okay, look, I’m not dumb, I get the joke. Haha. But I always found that joke to be dumb, and my reasoning’s going to be just as stupid…..Who sucks on a banana? It’s not a damn lollipop – it’s a banana! It’s one of the most fragile fruits in existence. Babies can eat them whole before their teeth come in! It’s not like it’s even tempting to try. Bananas aren’t particularly sweet, especially not enough to want to suck on. An apple, maybe. A plum, sure. But not a damned banana.

They get the idea to hold Komoe up to let her reach the cabinet, but, surprise, Densuke is being suffocated by her boom booms. It’s not even like this is an ecchi shot either because despite them being in the shot, they show it from the back so you can’t even see what’s going on.

Teacher walks up to them after that plan fails to suddenly bawl about how she’s been teaching at the school for over 12 years and not one student ever remembers her name. Also, she actually pronounces Eiken correctly…..Well…I guess she IS the teacher.

Densuke tries to cheer her up by saying, as the club’s adviser, only she can can help them out of this problem….Grab a goddamn step stool you lazy sons of bitches…..

She freaks out in delight that one of her students actually respects her and needs her help, so she does the logical thing and hug-humps Densuke….

She says two heads are better than one, and I bring this up because there are THREE of them, so that saying doesn’t work, and we see Kirika walk by….sucking on a hotdog.

BATBBMWSCREEN8

1) Who sucks on a hotdog?!

2) Really? You’re going to do one of the oldest ecchi-esque jokes in existence twice in a minute and a half? Comedy legends you lot are.

3) Who follows up eating a banana by eating a hotdog? Those tastes do not belong together at all.

4) Way to recycle animation.

So what was Teacher’s solution? To have both her AND Komoe climb up on Densuke’s shoulders to reach the cabinet….that they still can’t reach. But don’t worry. This time you can see Teacher’s thong. I have a hard time believing someone as insecure as her would wear a thong but whatever.

Also, uhm, question. How did you guys put the stuff into the cabinet? Use that method to REACH THE CABINETS NOW YOU DUMB SACKS OF DUMB.

They eventually reach what they need and eat lunch. Kirika asks Densuke how it was when he saw Chiharu’s bare flesh pillows. They talk about boring crap involving food for a while until Komoe decides to freak out and dance which makes her sweater meat flop all over the place. While dancing, she falls on another banana peel which leads to an intense discussion about politics.

Pbbthahahaha, just kidding. It’s more slow motion fanservice.

This fall takes forever and they cover practically every angle they can to show Komoe’s flopping bouncy houses, her panties, as well as Densuke reaching for said bouncy houses to catch her, and Teacher’s panties in several angles. Somehow this fall causes them to defy the laws of physics again and fall backwards, making Teacher’s dress go all the way up to her shoulders to display her in her bra and showing that Densuke is grabbing one of both of their orbs of power.

Oh yeah and because Teacher was trying to make more noodles, they got covered in noodles too….Long white wet stringy noodles. I guess I can at least be happy they weren’t eating anything with mayonnaise.…

BATBBMWSCREEN9

I feel like I need to censor almost all of these screencaps.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2