My Poke-Pinions #66-68 The Superpower Line

Machop

Name: Machop is a combination of “macho” and “chop.” Machop is a good name. It’s snappy and fitting while also being kind cute.

In Japan, it’s known as Wanriki, which is a combination of “wan” for “arm” and “riki” for “strength.” This name doesn’t really appeal to me all that much. It’s fine and fitting, but I prefer Machop.

Fun Fact: Machop’s beta name was Kara-tee for karate. I actually think that would’ve been cute.

Design: I’ll admit, I used to find Machop kinda creepy looking, but now I find it pretty cute. Sure, humanoid Pokemon are always a bit weird either way, and Machop’s half-human half-dinosaur/Gumby body is something alright, but it’s got its own cute charm to it…..Not sure why it has a tail, but okay.

Sprite-wise, Gen I is pretty funny. Look at R/G’s doofy-ass face.

R/B looks a lot cuter, but it still looks like someone glued googly eyes to it.

Yellow is better, but those arms…..

Gen II is colored a bit oddly with Machop being more of a dirty bronze color than bluish-gray.

Most of the sprites beyond this point are pretty cute, except when we get to Gen VII where the default sprite looks smushed and weird.

Shiny:

Ah yet another shiny that looks like it’s spent a few hours swimming in pee. Shiny Machop isn’t too terrible compared to the other pee shinies, but I still wish they had chosen a different color.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Machop is strong, and a master of many martial arts. It loves using Graveler as a barbell for some reason. Its muscles never get sore or cramp no matter how much it trains, and it can throw 100 adults. It likes particularly nutritious foods in order to help build more muscle, and it strives to challenge a Makuhita to a fight.

Design-wise, Machop is obviously based on body-builders, but it also has some reptilian features incorporated into it. Why? I have no idea. But it works fine enough.

Machoke

Name: Out of the three, I like Machoke’s name the least. I get that it’s making secondary theming by having each second word also begin with a ‘ch’ word, but “choke” just sounds a bit too much like this Pokemon’s a serial killer not a master martial artist or body builder. I get that chokeholds exist, but it’s not what my mind immediately jumps to when hearing the word “choke.”

In Japan, it’s known as Goriki, which means “herculean strength.” I like it better than Wanriki, but I still don’t care for it all that much.

Fun Fact: Like Machop was going to be known as Kara-tee in the beta version of the English games, Machoke was going to be known as Kung-Foo.

Design: Machoke looks even more human-like than Machop to the point where it now has spawned wrestling trunks. It also now has a championship belt, which is actually a power regulator.

Machoke is purple, so it’s already earning a few points with me. Otherwise, it’s a pretty okay design. Despite losing the tail, it retained some of its reptilian features, and I like that the stripes on its arms look muscle details.

Sprite-wise, R/G is just as doofy as Machop’s R/G sprite.

R/B is hilarious because Machoke looks cross-eyed there. The fact that it looks like its making armpit farts doesn’t help.

What the shit, Yellow? Ew.

Gen II looks alright…..barring the pec wiggle.

Gen III is alright too, but what’s up with the animation for Emerald? It looks like he suddenly decided to take a violent crap on the floor.

Everything else is alright. He’s just posing and flexing his muscles in various ways.

I will ask why Gen VI onward looks so gray. It’s like he now has Machamp’s colors instead of his own purple coloring.

Shiny:

If Machop was swimming in pee to make its shiny, Machoke was swimming in baby poo. The blue on the stripes is a nice touch, but otherwise, ew.

Luckily, they realized how barfy this looked and changed the shade as time went on. Gens IV and V look more like pine green, and it’s a lot nicer.

So of course they made it worse later by having every Gen beyond that point look like Machoke is sick.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Machoke is really strong. It is typically used to help with jobs involving heavy materials, like clearing land and construction. It never gets tired, and needs the aforementioned belt to regulate its power, which is weird because several Dex entries note that it always goes at full power.

Design-wise, Machoke has the same inspiration as Machop, except maybe with slightly more pro wrestler influence.

Machamp

Name: I think Machamp is a perfect name for the final evo of this line. It’s the CHAMPION!

In Japan, it’s known as Kairiki, which translates to “superhuman strength”….not sure if that’s better or worse than “herculean strength” but okay.

Fun Fact: Beta!Machamp was going to be known as Ju-Doh.

Design: Out of the entire trio, Machamp weirds me out the most. I think it’s the four arms combined with the weird huge lips. Something about that combo is just weird. It doesn’t look terrible, but it kinda weirds me out, is all.

Sprite-wise, pbbbbbttttthahahahaha R/G again.

R/B just looks weird. It’s almost like it has three arms on its right side.

Yellow, for some reason, gives off 1920s cartoon vibes.

Gen II is very golden for some reason. I love the animation for Crystal.

What is up with the back sprite, though? It’s like it’s asking for a high five.

Everything else, which is mostly just flexing poses, is fine.

Gigantamax Machamp:

Mmmm….I don’t care for it. The face looks weird, I don’t much care for the charcoal gray color, and it’s just a weird shape. What is up with the Popeye-esque muscular structure of the arms? And why do the hands look too small/short? I do like the lava-esque cracks on the forearms, but that’s about it.

Shiny: More green, but I guess they got the memo with Machoke and decided to make most of Machamp’s shinies a pine or lime green….

….Barring Gen II of course, which looks more like overcooked asparagus green….

and Gen III, which looks more like the baby poop shade Machoke had.

Shiny Gigantamax Machamp is also green, but a darker shade.

I think it looks…..eh. The green doesn’t go well with the orange and yellow ‘lava’ cracks anymore. It makes me think Machamp’s turning into a citrus fruit.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Machamp is really, REALLY strong. It can throw punches from all four arms insanely fast, over 1000 in two seconds, and throw its victims over the horizon. One arm alone has the strength to move mountains. However, it has an issue with dexterity due to its four arms. It needs to really think about it before trying to do anything involving careful precision otherwise it may tangle its arms.

Gigantamax Machamp has punches so powerful that they sound like bomb blasts when they hit. It’s so strong that it once lifted a large ship back to port when it experienced trouble at sea.

Design-wise, the only difference between Machamp and the others in the line is that the blue skin and additional arms may be in reference to Hindu gods, Shiva or Vishnu.

And that was the Superhuman line. Honestly, not a whole lot to say, but it’s a pretty cool Fighting Type line, and it’s definitely a classic. Fun fact one last time – Machamp was the first ever holographic card I ever got, and I still have it.

Next time, the Bell Plant line!

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My Poke-Pinions #63-65: Abracadabra, Alakazam!

Abra

Name: I absolutely love this line’s name scheme of Abracadabra Alakazam. While Abra on its own is nothing to really write home about, it’s really clever and cute when connected with at least Kadabra’s name.

In Japan, it’s known as Casey, which is just too normal of a name to English ears for me to think it fits at all. It’s just awkward to call a Pokemon “Casey.” Being fair, it’s based on the famous ‘psychic’, Edgar Cayce, but it doesn’t change how it sounds to me.

Fun Fact: In the English beta, it was known as Hocus, as in Hocus Pocus.

Design: I’ve always found Abra oddly adorable. Sure, it’s a little weird with its big brown shoulder pads and rat tail, but there’s something about Abra’s face and mannerisms are really cute to me. Probably helps that it’s always napping.

Sprite-wise, R/G looks a bit demonic.

Gold looks really cute the way it’s got one eye peeking open.

Crystal’s animation is SUPER adorable the way it’s swaying its feet and twitching its tail.

What is Emerald doing?

What is D/P doing?

What is platinum doing?

What is HG/SS doing?

Love Gen V because it’s constantly floating in midair.

Everything else is fine.

Shiny:

Abra’s shiny is one of many ‘Let’s just turn down the saturation of the Pokemon’s colors and call it a day’ shinies. As expected, it’s blech.

Oddly, the one exception here is FR/LG where the shiny is, for some reason, darker than the base sprite.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Abra sleeps 18 hours a day to store enough energy to recover from the strain of using its psychic powers. If it fails to get 18 hours of sleep, its psychic powers will start to fail.

It usually responds to sensing any form of danger by teleporting. You must clear your mind and not be perceived as a threat if you want to catch one. Sometimes, it will create illusion copies of itself to further distract threats. It hypnotizes itself to allow it to teleport from danger even when it’s asleep and will teleport to another location once every hour to avoid danger.

When it awakens, it is not aware of where it was sent via its teleportation powers while asleep, usually causing it to panic when it wakes up.

Design-wise, Abra is a mixture of foxes, possums and cats with the idea behind its abilities and moveset being inspired by psychics and mediums.

Kadabra

Name: Continuing on with the cool naming scheme, we have Kadabra. I actually like Kadabra’s name the best out of the trio.

That being said, it also has my least favorite Japanese name of the trio – Yungerer. It’s based off of Uri Geller, the illusionist who popularized spoon-bending as a ‘psychic’ ability. Yungerer is very awkward to say. It’s like someone was trying to make up a name on the spot and just kinda mumbled near the end.

Fun Fact: Also following beta!Abra, Kadabra would have been named “Pocus.”

Design: Kadabra looks pretty cool. I like the star they added on its forehead. I do not, however, care for the bulbous tail. It’s just a bit too weird for my tastes.

Sprite-wise, Gen I and most of II are perfectly fine with nothing of note, but Crystal is hilarious. The perspective makes it look like Kadabra is trying to feed the viewer. “Open up the tunnel, here comes the train! Choo-choo! Num nums!”

I really don’t have much to say about anything until Gen V where the animation looks really funny again. It’s like it’s trying to wash a window with the spoon.

Kadabra is another Pokemon where the gender difference is only barely noticeable. I honestly wouldn’t have noticed unless I looked it up. The females have slightly shorter mustaches than the males. Why wouldn’t they just get rid of the mustache entirely? Did they think it would look too weird?

Shiny:

Basically same situation as Abra and just as boring.

However, instead of being darker in FR/LG, the sprite in that game has a muted purple where the brown should be, which I like.

Dex Entries and Backstory: There are a lot of weird details about Kadabra.

Kadabra possesses strong spiritual powers via the alpha waves it emits. It becomes even more powerful when it closes its eyes, when it’s in danger or when it gets a headache, which is very Psyduck-esque. Only those with powerful psyches can effectively train this Pokemon. When its getting ready to evolve, it stores psychic energy in the star on its forehead.

People close to Kadabra when its using is psychic powers tend to develop headaches. Likewise, electronic devices malfunction and clocks run backwards in its presence when using powerful psychic moves. Weird shadows also appear on TV screens when Kadabra are nearby. These shadows are said to bring bad luck.

The spoon that it somehow gains upon evolution actually has a purpose – it amplifies its alpha waves by about twice as much. If it happens to lose the spoon, it will lose half of its power. The spoon has to be silver, it cannot be gold, which is a weird thing to note. Who even gave a Kadabra a gold spoon to test that theory? Also, does that mean it doesn’t get a spoon upon evolution – it needs to be given one?

It will levitate in its sleep and uses its tail as a pillow, which is pretty cute.

The weirdest note about Kadabra, however, is that it’s rumored to actually be a psychic boy who couldn’t control his powers, fell asleep and woke up as a Kadabra. But then, what’s an Abra?

In regards to design, the only animal trait it seems to retain from Abra are some fox-like features. But what we really need to discuss is the Uri Geller controversy. I had vaguely remembered reading something about Uri Geller being upset about Kadabra being basically an unauthorized parody of him many years ago, but I never really read much on it. Now that I have, holy shit, I had no idea this situation actually caused Kadabra to be basically banned from Pokemon for nearly 20 years!

Alright, so I mentioned that Kadabra’s Japanese name, Yungerger was based off of Uri Geller. It doesn’t really look that way in English (Romaji) but in katakana it does. Yungerer’s name is written like this ユンゲラー (Yu-n-gu-raa) while Uri Geller’s is written like this ユリゲラー (Yu-ri-gu-raa). Additionally, there’s the fact that Kadabra holds a spoon – spoon-bending being what Uri Geller was most famous for.

It wasn’t just that Kadabra was based off of him that set Geller off. He also claimed that the star and squiggly lines on Kadabra’s body were offensive symbols that were tarnishing his likeness – the star being an ‘occult’ symbol and the squiggly lines being ‘similar’ to the nazi SS lightning bolt symbol.

First of all, that’s a very simple star. Even if Kadabra is a psychic Pokemon, you can’t just say every single star shape is an occult symbol. If so, a lot of drawings and doodles I made as a kid must’ve been subconsciously supporting the occult.

Second, I can see how those lines look kinda similar to the nazi lightning bolt SS, but only if you ignore that there are three lines. With the third line, it looks much more like the universal symbol for steam, as in something hot. I literally have that exact same symbol on top of my microwave.

Apparently no one else was in agreement with Geller about the symbols because if they were indeed considered occult-ish or nazi imagery, they’d censor it just like they’ve censored other cards and Pokemon with similar issues.

Even if you don’t buy those explanations, these symbols do have practical reasoning. They’re based on symbols shown in Zener cards, which are cards that were used to experiment with ESP.

He was also angry that the Pokemon was “aggressive” and “in one case, evil.”

Thing is, Uri Geller seems to have been pretty lawsuit-happy back in the day. He has a long and storied track record of suing or threatening to sue people who piss him off. For instance, he sued a watch company, Timex, for showing someone psychically bending forks and other items, but failing to stop a Timex watch. In that instance, he was fined $149,000 for filing a frivolous lawsuit.

He also considered suing IKEA for having a furniture line with bent legs called “Uri,” and filed a complaint (that was rejected) with the Broadcasting Standards Commission of the UK against a show called Secrets of the Super Psychics. The show explained and showed how tricks such as those performed by Geller were done practically. His argument was that it was “unfair treatment” to show how these tricks are done when certain people, such as Geller himself, assert that they’re real powers.

Then there are the other lawsuits that his Wiki page didn’t even mention.

His lawsuit coup de gras was certainly his push against Nintendo for Kadabra’s existence. According to Geller, he was Christmas shopping one day when he discovered an Alakazam card….Yeah, I think there was some mixed signals here at first. He does describe an Alakazam card (Stating the Pokemon used two spoons, not one) but he uses Kadabra’s Japanese name to make the strong connection to himself. He also claimed there were two versions of the Pokemon – one good and one “evil,” which isn’t true for either Kabadra or Alakazam. There IS a “bad” Alakazam card – known as Dark Alakazam in the west – as well as a “bad”/Dark Kadabra card that did exist back then, but the thing is those are Team Rocket cards. Those Alakazam and Kadabra are only “bad” because Team Rocket made them bad.

While it’s certainly understandable to be a little miffed that someone based a character on you without asking your permission, I don’t see how Kadabra is in any way insulting to his image or even really stealing it. Kadabra is a pretty damn good Pokemon. It’s a legitimately Psychic Pokemon, possibly born of a real (game lore-wise anyway) psychic boy, and it doesn’t look anything like Geller. It’s not particularly aggressive as far as I read in the Dex entries. It’s powerful, yes, but not inherently aggressive.

Geller wound up attempting to sue not just Nintendo in Japan, but also in the US, and he was considering suing in other regions across Europe, Latin America and Australasia. The lawsuit for the Japanese office was set for £60m and the lawsuit for the US was going to be $100m. The lawsuit was put forth in 2000, but it was dismissed in 2003. From what reports indicate, while the lawsuit was dismissed, there was a caveat in which Geller only agreed to stop pursuing legal action if they stopped producing Kadabra cards. It’s unclear if Geller demanded this as well, (Doesn’t seem to be the case) but they also stopped showing Kadabra in the anime in 2006 to stave off any possible further litigation from Geller, although they kept Kadabra in the games.

And, yeah, after 2003, there was never another Kadabra card produced, and Kadabra was basically quietly banned from ever appearing in the show or movies either. This kinda screwed up the TCG because Abra no longer had a means of evolving into Alakazam. A special version of Abra had to be printed with the ability “Ultra Evolution” that allowed Abra to skip the Kadabra phase and instantly become an Alakazam.

What I find especially silly about this lawsuit is that Geller took the reference as such an insult, but as far as I know he didn’t get a single lick of negative press or public reaction from Kadabra’s existence. He stated himself that reactions were incredibly positive. A store manager came out bowing to him, and “hundreds of children” begged him to sign their Kababra/Yungerer cards while chanting his name. The only reason he ever got any negative reaction from anything involving Kadabra as far as I saw was because he sued Nintendo over it and banned Kadabra from being a part of 2/3 of the main Pokemon media outlets for nearly 20 years.

Seventeen years later in 2020, Uri Geller had a change of heart. A recent outcry from fans as well as discussions with his granddaughters prompted Geller to realize how silly the whole situation was and see Kadabra as a tribute to him – not an insult. He sent a letter to Nintendo giving the green light to finally start reintroducing Kadabra back into the TCG. Kadabra was confirmed to be getting its first TCG release in 20 years in the Pokemon Card 151 set being released this June. This public and private go ahead also lead Kadabra into being formally reintroduced, albeit briefly, in the anime in 2021’s Pokemon Evolutions.

Good for Kadabra, and good for Mr. Geller. I hope Kadabra gets some cool cards and anime appearances in the future.

Alakazam

Name: In keeping with the theme, I like Alakazam’s name a lot. It’s also great in that it’s truly been built up to as a final evo name because the magic words are just like that. Abracadabra is the buildup, then ALAKAZAM!

In Japan, it’s called Foodin, which is meant to be “Houdin” I imagine since Harry Houdini was used as an inspiration for this one. There’s just no “Hu” sound in Japanese because that hiragana is pronounced “fu.” The name really falls flat for me. Even if I am more understanding and call it Houdin, it still just sounds weird to me.

Design: Alakazam does look cool, but I feel like I’m bordering on labeling it a lazy evolution. It’s pretty much just a bigger Kadabra without the symbols and tail and now with *drum roll* TWO SPOONS!

As with Kadabra, the female version of the line just has a slightly shorter mustache.

Also, I feel the need to point out that if any Pokemon in this line legitimately has an occult symbol on it, it’s Alakazam because it’s head is meant to be in the shape of a pentagram. (You can argue that Kadabra’s head is too, but I don’t think the sides are prominent enough to say that.)

Sprite-wise, R/G looks thoroughly unimpressed with the spoons it’s holding.

Crystal looks pretty funny because it looks like it’s taunting the player with the spoons. “Oooh look at yoooouuu. You don’t have spoons like meeee.”

R/S looks confused by his spoons.

Emerald also looks confused, but then the animation makes it clear that he’s figured out the spoons.

FR/LG makes him look bored af.

Not gonna lie, Platinum gives off more ‘maracas’ than ‘spoons.’

Everything else looks fine.

Shiny:

Alakazam’s shiny has a leg up over its pre-evos in that it actually looks like a shiny and not just a bleached out Pokemon. That being said, the shiny for Alakazam is just okay. The dark brown parts are replaced by magenta, and that’s….fine, and the yellow parts are replaced with a goldish yellow that looks more bronze in Gen III.

Gen II’s shiny is a bit weird because they also change the yellow parts to a gross sewage green.

Mega:

Mega Alakazam is pretty damn cool. It doesn’t try to do too much like a lot of Mega evos do. It has a wizardly beard, a cool jewel (even if it is called an ‘organ’ eugh) in the center of its forehead, and *even more drum roll* FIVE SPOONS!

I also, for some reason, like that it interlocks its toes instead of sitting cross-legged.

Even its shiny is a little better because it has purple in place of the dark brown parts instead of magenta.

(I don’t know why the main artwork for Mega Alakazam also has purple areas. It’s supposed to be brown.)

Dex Entries and Backstory: Alakazam is insanely powerful and smart. It is said to have an IQ of 5000, it can outperform a supercomputer and it never forgets anything that it learns. It closes its eyes to help it focus, and its brain never stops growing. Its brain eventually reaches a point where it’s so heavy that it uses its psychic energy to hold its head up instead of its muscles, which is insane. It is noted that it has extremely weak muscles, likely as a result of being too reliant on its psychic powers.

We actually have an origin of Alakazam’s spoons. They’re said to be created by Alazakam’s psychic powers, and both spoons are entirely unique.

A funny and sweet note about the spoons is that, if an Alakazam truly trusts you, it will give you one of its spoons. If you eat anything with it, it is guaranteed to be delicious.

Mega Alakazam has lost all of the strength in its muscles and transferred all of its energy into its psychic abilities, which explains why it is always floating and never stands or walks anymore. A mere glance from a Mega Alakazam gives it complete knowledge of your entire life, which is also insane.

Its psychic abilities have now reached precognition capabilities. It can predict every move an enemy plans, which makes me wonder how anything fights a Mega Alakazam…………Hm.

As for inspiration in design, the only things I haven’t mentioned yet are that its horns, long mustache and talons are said to be based on Chinese dragons, which is cool if true, and that it may be based on goats, which are also symbolic in the occult. I, personally, don’t see the goat thing. It does have horns, but they’re not shaped like a goat horns.

And that was the longer-than-I-expected-to-write Abracadabra Alakazam line! I’ve never been a massive fan of this line, but they’re pretty cool in their own right. Gen I was kinda lacking in the (purely) Psychic Type department, and Alakazam was my favorite non-Legendary purely Psychic Type back then (With Mew and Mewtwo taking the first and second Legendary spots, respectively). I liked Kadabra a lot too. While Abra is really cute, all it knows is Teleport, and catching one was a massive pain in the ass back then.

Next time, it’s everyone’s favorite slightly unnerving humanoid bodybuilder Pokemon evo line, Machop, Machoke and Machamp.

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My Poke-Pinions | #60-62 and 186 – The Poli Line

Poliwag

Name: I think Poliwag’s name is really fitting and cute. It’s a play on ‘poliwog’ which is an old (and/or southern?) term for tadpoles, with ‘wag’ as in wagging a tail.

In Japan, it’s known as Nyoromo, which is….okay. I don’t think it’s quite as memorable or cute as Poliwag. It’s a little clunky. It’s a combination of ‘nyoronyoro’ which is the Japanese onomatopoeia for ‘wriggling’ and ‘kodomo’ which means ‘child.’

Fun Fact: In Germany, it’s known as Quapsel, which I think is super doofy but also adorable. It’s derived from the word ‘kaulquappe’ which is German for ‘tadpole.’

Also, supposedly, Poliwag is Pokemon creator, Satoshi Tajiri’s, favorite Pokemon. (At least it was as of 2004.)

Design: Look…..I love Poliwag. I think it’s very cute, adorable even. I love its little tail and big eyes….

But….

I don’t know why this bothers me or makes me feel bad for them. Lots of Pokemon don’t have arms or even legs, and tadpoles don’t have front legs yet, so it makes perfect sense, but for some reason it bothers me that Poliwag doesn’t have arms of any kind. I can’t explain it. It’s a very irrational uncomfortable feeling.

Sprite-wise…..ugh…..Oh R/B…..Poliwag looks dead here is all I can say.

Yellow looks better, but still kinda derpy.

R/G….is staring at me…..and I do not appreciate it. Make it stop.

Gold is pretty damn funny. It’s like it’s going “HuuuuUUUUhhhHHH?!”

Silver looks goddamn terrified.

Crystal has roughly the same base sprite as Gold, but the animation makes it look cuter and more natural and less perpetually confused.

Gen III is all cute. I like the little bouncing animation for Emerald.

Gen IV is really cute. My favorite is the jumping HG/SS sprite.

Gen V is pretty cute. I like the very small dancing-esque animation it has.

Gen VI looks sad af. Is that just me?

Every other Gen looks fine.

Shiny:

It’s just a lighter blue color. It’s fine, and I like the shade of blue, but it’s just a slightly different blue.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Because it has no arms and tiny legs, Poliwag doesn’t fare very well on land. However, it moves very swiftly in the water thanks to its strong and large tail.

Grossly, but understandably, the swirl on its stomach is not actually a design on its skin. The white part of its body is slightly translucent, and the swirl pattern is actually its internal organs showing through the thin skin…..I really wish I was kidding, but no. The reason I said this was understandable was because this aspect of Poliwag physiology was taken from tadpoles, who also have translucent skin and visible internal organs. For some reason, the Dex entries also note that the skin becomes even more translucent after Poliwag eats. Ew.

Don’t worry about the integrity of Poliwag’s tummy, however, because the skin, despite being thin, is also very durable and bouncy. Even Pokemon fangs bounce right off it.

The swirl direction changes depending on the region in which it’s found. There’s no concrete answer for what dictates which direction comes from which region, but it does say the equator might be a factor.

Additionally, Gen VII notes that white on the black swirl is indicative of illness within the Pokemon.

For some reason, Gen VI says it has black skin, which it obviously doesn’t. It’s blue. Admittedly, in Gen I it’s easy to mistake it for black, except in Yellow where it’s very blue, but it’s still just a dark blue. A note on the Wiki page says this, in combination with a note about Poliwhirl being oily, might be implying a connection to the bilberry, which is a berry very similar to a blueberry (it’s even known as the European blueberry) that has a waxy coating on that makes it look blue despite the skin actually being black….Okay….if this is true, why is Poliwag being given berry lore?

I’m pretty certain this is just someone trying to figure out a justification for that odd note when, in all likelihood, it was probably a mistake or something.

Finally, Gen VIII notes that, in extremely fast moving rivers, Poliwag will anchor itself to rocks by suctioning itself to them using its big lips….How do they eventually get out of the river?

In terms of design, Poliwag was simply based on a tadpole.

Poliwag did have a prototype released in 1997 that looked like this.

You’re welcome for the nightmares.

Poliwhirl

Name: Poliwhirl’s name is simple, but fitting and fairly cute. It’s a combination of ‘poliwog’ and ‘whirl’ or ‘whirlpool.’

Its Japanese name is Nyorozo, which breaks down to ‘nyoronyoro’ and ‘kozo’, meaning ‘youngster.’ I kinda don’t care for this name. It’s just a bit awkward to say, in my opinion. It’s technically meaningful enough, but it’s just kinda clunky.

Design: It’s weird, but I’ve always had a big soft spot for Poliwhirl. It’s very cute and cuddly in its own odd way. If you look at Poliwhirl for too long, you start asking questions about its weird appearance like where did its mouth go between evolutions? Why would it LOSE an important body part between evolutions? How does it eat without a mouth? Where did it get mittens? It is indeed weird, but I can’t help but love it. I just want to give a Poliwhirl a hug.

Sprite-wise, Gen I is a tiny bit weird, but it fares much better than many Pokemon of that era. R/B is probably the worst because the eye stalks pop up just a tab bit too much.

Yellow’s fine, even if it has an ‘old man yells at cloud’ motif.

R/G is definitely a little off-putting. It’s kinda cute in its shy pose but the weird fish-eye lens curve to its eyes here is just eugh.

Gold is okay, but Silver is really neat. It’s like it’s trying to reach out to the player.

Crystal gives off really strong Poliwrath vibes.

Gen III is fine, and Gen IV is a lot of fun. D/P/P looks like Poliwhirl is partaking in a martial arts competition while HG/SS cheers it on.

Every other Gen is fine.

Shiny:

It’s the same blue shade as Poliwag’s shiny and equally uninteresting.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Poliwhirl has gained an arm upgrade as well as slightly stronger legs to give it more mobility on land, even though it obviously prefers being in the water. In order to keep its skin moist when out of water, it sweats an oily substance all over its body. This oil actually helps it in battle by allowing it to easily slip out of the enemy’s clutches.

Gen VII gets a little dark by explaining that Poliwhirl will grab Bug Pokemon on land and drag them underwater (effectively drowning them) so it can eat them in a safer place. It also eats fish Pokemon……Although, again….where the hell is its mouth?

The Wiki page provides an image of Poliwhirl’s internal anatomy, and I still can’t see where its mouth would be.

Some post I found said it’s the little line up top, but I think that’s just detailing on the intestines because there would be a mouth visible in that location if that was it.

According to the Pokedex, Poliwhirl is capable of lulling enemies (or even children) to sleep by having them look at its stomach swirl as its belly undulates. And unlike many odd Pokemon abilities that don’t seem to match what they can canonically do in regards to moveset, Poliwhirl actually can use Hynopsis. It can also use Amnesia and Psywave, which I think is taking the concept a bit far because it’s still just using its belly swirl and hypnosis for this power. It shouldn’t actually have real Psychic powers.

Poliwhirl is based on the glass frog, which is a super adorable and really cool-looking frog, despite the whole ‘being able to see their organs through their skin’ thing.

Poliwrath

Name: Poliwrath’s name is pretty good. It’s snappy and fairly intimidating. It’s a combination of ‘poliwog’ and ‘wrath.’

In Japan, it’s known as Nyorobon, which is probably the best of the three Japanese names so far. It’s a combination of ‘nyoronyoro’ and ‘bon’ for ‘boy’………So…..we went from….child to youngster to boy….Poliwrath, the big intimidating one of the line….is just a boy? Okie dokie….

Fun Fact: In Germany, it’s known as Quappo, which is pretty funny.

Design: Poliwrath is most certainly one of the laziest evolutions I’ve ever seen, especially for a final evo. A Poliwhirl goes to the gym three days a week and is also angry – that’s Poliwrath.

…..Oh and it also grew a few fingers.

Sprite-wise, what’s up with R/B? Its eyes are massive.

Yellow looks like he’s falling asleep while fighting.

R/G’s a bit better. Kinda puffing out its chest.

Gens II and III are good. All of the animations are fist fighting, which is neat.

Gen IV is……what is it doing in D/P/P? Is it pooping? Summoning Cthulu? I don’t understand.

HG/SS is a bit better as it’s flexing whatever tadpole muscles it has.

Gen V is fine.

Gen VI—CALL THE COPS! POLIWRATH IS STRANGLING AN INVISIBLE PERSON AND WON’T STOP DOING IT UNTIL POKEMON HOME!

Shiny:

Question – why is the Poli line just now getting a differently colored shiny?

Being based on a frog, having a green shiny makes a lot of sense, and this shade is perfect for it. It’s a bit of a shame that the previous evos weren’t also green or at least a different color is all.

Also, look at Beta Poliwrath and his little crown lol

Dex Entries and Backstory: If you thought my notes on the design were boring, the main features the Pokedex talks about are that it has a lot of muscles and can swim really, really well.

That’s pretty much it. Everything else is just tiny added details like it can easily beat champion human swimmers, human children learn to swim watching Poliwrath swim, it can swim across the Pacific Ocean easily, it has very low body fat, it can reduce rocks and chunks of ice to bits and pieces with a single punch….That’s all.

In terms of design, Poliwrath is still based on the glass frog, but the Wiki notes that it may also be based on amphibian neoteny as it stays in tadpole form and never completes its transformation. The entire Poli line, sans Politoed, are all classified as Tadpole Pokemon. That’d make sense, but it’s also really weird because neotenic frogs don’t seem to exist – or if they do, they’re insanely rare. At most, it’s been documented that some frogs keep their tails after they complete their transformation, but they don’t need to be aquatic, so they’re just basically frogs with tails.

Supposedly, the addition of the Fighting Typing is theorized to be because frogs gain bigger bodies and higher muscle mass compared to a tadpole……??? That’s a bit of a stretch. That would also apply to many other Pokemon based on real animals, especially if you take evolutionary lines as being more or less child → teen → adult.

Politoed

Name: Politoed has the best name of the bunch. It’s a combination of ‘poliwog’ and ‘toad’ but spelled with an e. The Wiki says that, in this circumstance, the ‘poli’ part may actually be ‘poly’ as in ‘many’ and ‘toed’ indicating it has a lot of toes, but it, like,….doesn’t. It has toes, but it doesn’t particularly have many toes. It actually has rather few toes. I guess it has many toes compared to the other entries in the Poli line since they have no toes.

I really just think they were making a cute play on words because now it has little frog toes.

In Japan, it’s called Nyorotono – a mixture of ‘nyoronyoro’ and ‘tono’ for ‘lord’ which makes a lot of sense because Politoed is achieved by using a King’s Rock on a Poliwhirl. It’s also theorized that the ‘tono’ part is indicating ‘tonosama-gaeru’, a dark-spotted frog.

Honestly, I still find the Japanese name scheme to be kinda clunky, but who am I?

Design: Politoed is incredibly cute, and now it has a mouth again!. I really love frogs, and this one is a big ol’ cutie. I love the color choices, its eyes and face, its pudgy belly. It’s a great Pokemon. One of my favorites.

That being said…..they went in the exact opposite direction with Politoed’s design than they did with Poliwrath. Whereas Poliwrath looks way too similar to Poliwhirl, they made no effort whatsoever to make Politoed look like it belongs in the Poli line. It has a spiral on its belly, sure, but the spiral is barely a spiral, it’s more like a simple curled line, and it doesn’t look anything like the spiral on the rest of the line, which, barring directionality, has stayed incredibly consistent.

It’s almost like they designed a really great frog Pokemon but they didn’t want it to be a standalone Pokemon so they just stapled it onto the Poli line.

It does make sense for a tadpole line to wind up as a frog, but it simply looks too different to feel like a natural progression at all, especially since the only entry in the Poli line that actually looks like a tadpole is Poliwag. I realize how silly that seems because, when you compare a tadpole in real life to a real frog, they also look nothing alike. But when it comes to Pokemon evolutionary lines, you tend to expect some degree of consistent design so you can at least see how each step connects.

What’s especially interesting about the choice to make this Pokemon a Poli evo is that, if Poliwrath’s Wiki is any indication, the line was originally intended to NOT end up as a frog. If it’s a case of mimicking neoteny, then all three being classified as tadpoles makes sense. But branching off into a frog, thereby completing the transformation cycle, just confuses the theme of the line.

Shifting over to sprite talk, Gen II is very green, man. Like real green.

Interestingly, the Japanese version had spots on its back for some reason.

Gen III is fun.

Gen IV is cute, but what exactly is up with HG/SS? Why does it look like someone told the animator to make Politoed look like an energetic baby?

Gen V is super cute, but I’m not sure how I feel about that brief belly wiggle.

Everything else is cute enough, but before I move on, can anyone tell me what the difference is between the male and female versions of this Pokemon?

I stared at these sprites for a long time trying to figure out what the difference was without needing to look at the biological information, and literally the only thing I could see is that the female has SLIGHTLY smaller cheeks.

….And yup that’s the difference.

Why even bother with stuff like this? I mean, at the very least, I guess I can say they didn’t do the stupid thing of making the cheeks heart shaped, but seriously. It’s such a tiny detail.

Shiny:

Politoed’s shiny is certainly….colorful. It reminds a LOT of cotton candy. I want to like this shiny so much more than I actually do. It’s a beautiful shade of blue. That shade of pink is also really nice….the combination is what’s putting me off a little. I also don’t like that the ‘hair’ on its head is now white for some reason. I can’t fully get on board with it, is all. Some of the shiny sprites look really good, especially the post-Gen II earlier Gens.

Others, Gen VI onward (the first image), have the colors being more off-putting. They’re darker and deeper, which makes the contrast more apparent. You’d think stronger contrast would be good, but here it just feels like it’s too much.

At the very least, they do get a lot of credit for trying to make a unique shiny. Among the plain Poli line, it’s a massive upgrade, and among other shinies out there it’s pretty damn unique in regards to color combos. Being fair, as a frog, it has a right to be insanely bright and colorful.

The first shiny version, however, is just ugly. It’s a gross shade of green mixed with an awful shade of pink. It makes Politoed look very ill, to be honest.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Politoed’s an audio nightmare.

The Dex entries note a lot about how they come together and make extremely loud bellowing noises to gather Poliwag and Poliwhirl. “Their cries sound angry and not at all pleasant, but they are certainly distinctive.”

These sounds also make the Poliwag and Poliwhirl cower in fear and asserts the Politoed’s role as leader and king.

I’m sorry. This whole thing is, again, making me think this arrangement with the Poli line was an afterthought.

Look at this Pokemon and tell me it instills fear or gives off “king” vibes.

Why, of the entire line, would PoliTOED be the one who makes the other evos cower in fear when another evo has WRATH in its name? Poliwrath can reduce boulders to rubble with one punch. Politoed doesn’t even have a secondary typing, which just makes the whole “Poliwrath is Fighting Type because frogs have strong muscles” thing seem even weirder because Politoed is the actual frog and its not a Fighting Type or muscular at all.

Moving on, the female of the species cannot make sounds as loud as the male, and it’s said that the deeper and more menacing cries from the males attract more females.

The curly ‘hair’ on its head acts as a crown, which is a nod to the King’s Rock that is used to achieve this evolution, and it’s proof of its status as the king of the Poli line. The longer and curlier the hair is, the more respect the Politoed commands.……Uh…yeah, sure. Because when I see a curly hair, I think “crown.”

Why not just do as they were going to do with Poliwrath and give it an actual crown? It wouldn’t come off as out of place, given the ol’ fairy tales of princes turning into frogs.

In terms of design, Politoed was based on the European tree frog. I don’t know how they sussed out the exact frog in this situation as Politoed looks like a very typical frog, but I accept this. I have no clue where the hair came from, though. If it really is just their weird version of a crown, I have no idea how they got from point A to point B on that one.

Again, the spiral on it’s stomach is said to represent internal organs appearing through the skin, like glass frogs….Wait “represent”? The other Poli line entries said that the spiral WAS the internal organs showing through.

Okay, hang on – Poliwrath’s Wiki page also says it’s meant to be a representation of the organs, but Poliwhirl and Poliwag’s biology sections says they’re actually showing through. “A black and white swirl covers its belly, which is actually its organs showing through its thin skin.” “There is a black and white swirl on its abdomen, which is actually its internal organs showing through its semitransparent skin.”

Even giving leeway because that’s the Wiki page, so anyone can edit it, the official Pokedex entries for Poliwag say this. “The swirl on its body is its internal organs seen through its skin.” This is repeated in every single Gen’s Pokedex entries all the way to Gen VIII.

I don’t know what to believe. I guess it makes more sense that the swirl is just a representation instead of the actual organs showing through, because 1) That’d be gross, 2) I doubt that’s something neither Nintendo/Game Freak nor the anime animators would feel comfortable showing and 3) It’s clearly a simple black line, not detailed organs. However, I can’t ignore what the Dex entries have been repeating to this very day.

I will say, without a doubt, that Politoed’s situation is clearly one of just being a representation because, again, it’s not so much a full, long swirl as it is just a line with a curl at the end. If that is Politoed’s organs, I think it needs to see a doctor immediately.

And that was the Poli line.

I do really like this entire line, even if I do have numerous questions about a variety of things concerning it. It’s cute, it’s doofy, it’s fun and it’s very unique, despite its simplicity.

Next up, Abra Kadabra Alakazam! *poof* *vanishes*

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My Poke-Pinions #58 and 59 – The Guard Dog Line

Growlithe

Name: Growlithe and Arcanine are two of my absolute favorite Pokemon ever. I love dogs, Fire Pokemon are my favorite Type – they’re the perfect combination.

Growlithe’s name is a combination of “growl” and…..”lithe” Wow, thanks a bunch, Bulbapedia. That was really helpful. I didn’t know what “lithe” meant, so I googled it, and it means “thin, supple and graceful.” Uhm….I mean….I….guess? Those aren’t really traits that immediately jump out at me when I think of Growlithe, but okay? The “growl” part of the name obviously works very well, but I have no idea what the thought process was with the “lithe” part. It’s still a good name in regards to being memorable and snappy, but I just don’t quite get it.

In Japan, it’s originally known as Gardie, which seems to be indicative of “guard” or “guardian” I think like guard dogs. I prefer Growlithe, but Gardie is a bit more of a fitting name. It kinda just sounds like a name someone would give a Growlithe, if that makes any sense.

Fun Fact: In the beta version of RB, it was going to be named Flamie, which is……very not creative, but cute.

Design: Growlithe is one of the most perfect Pokemon designs. Fight me. It does indeed just look like a dog, but the absolute perfect shade of orange for the short fur with stark black stripes all over the body really help it stand out, and it definitely portrays the Fire Type quite well.

On its longer fur, it has shaping and spiky features that resemble flames, making the fire connection even stronger. I think Growlithe is absolutely adorable. I love its face, it ears, the little hair tuft on top of its head, its paws, its tail – just everything about Growlithe. I especially think the eyes are the perfect shape. They’re adorable and friendly while still having enough angle to them to convey a truly threatening expression if need be.

Sprite-wise, Gen I…pbbbtthhhahahaha…Sorry. R/B is really cute, but it comes off a bit too much like a real puppy/animal than it should. Also, I don’t much care for the tail being so tiny.

Yellow looks pretty normal, and R/G looks—PBBBTTAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s looks so doofy. It’s cute, don’t get me wrong, but it’s so doofy. It almost doesn’t even look like a real Pokemon. It’s kinda more like a plushie.

Gen II is quite the tonal shift, making all of the sprites for the Gen look really friggin’ angry.

Gen III is a bit better, but I have no clue what the animation for Emerald is doing.

Gen IV is pretty cute, but the animations for DPP are a bit too hyper for my tastes.

HG/SS is very adorable, though.

Absolutely adore the animations for Gen V. It’s such a playful pup in those sprites.

Everything else looks pretty good.

Shiny:

I hate you, Pokemon. First you spit in my face with Vulpix’s shiny, and now poor Growlithe? How dare you?

Granted, Growlithe’s situation isn’t quite as bad as Vulpix’s. Growlithe’s shiny is more stark yellow than anything, but still this is just insulting. It looks like it did a fusion dance with a mustard bottle.

In Gen II, its shiny looks…lame, but better. The orange parts were simply turned to a brown color, which kinda just makes it look like a regular dog.

Hisuian Growlithe

Oooooohhhhhhhhhhwwoooooooooooooooowwwwwwwww……Okay, uhm…I’ve never seen this version of Growlithe until this very moment, and it’s…..a lot to take in.

First of all, I’m not against the idea of having like a half-shaggy dog and half-short haired dog – I actually find that very cute – my issue is with the way they styled the hair. The fur on its head looks ridiculous. It looks kinda like a helmet, which is a neat idea, but it’s giving off seriously strong “I was desperately trying to look cool in 1967” vibes.

The fur on its chest is just confusing. Are those balls? Why are they balls? I don’t understand. The tail is fine. It kinda reminds me too much of Wartortle’s tail, though.

The other noticeable detail is that they changed the orange color to being a much deeper orange-red, heavy on the red. I don’t think it looks that bad, but it kinda looks unnatural.

The shiny version is shit, because they just did the exact same color scheme as shiny normal Growlithe.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Growlithe is noted as being extremely loyal, brave, friendly and territorial. It will bite enemies, and it will remain motionless unless commanded by its owner/Trainer. BW also mentions that it’s so protective of its Trainer that it will bark at enemies and run them out of town. It has such a good sense of smell that it never forgets the scents of those it smells, and it can use scents to determine the emotions of others.

Gen VII explains that Growlithe’s natural enemy is Rockruff, and Growlithe are said to have been living and working alongside humans since the stone age.

The only Dex entry for Hisuian Growlithe explains that they patrol their territory in pairs, and it’s believed their typing changed to be dual Fire/Rock Type because of nearby volcanic activity, which is kinda cool. This design doesn’t give off Rock Type or volcano vibes, though.

Growlithe’s design is based off of shisa, which are Japanese statues meant to resemble a mix between a dog and a lion. I can definitely see it. Shisa are guardians meant to protect people from evil spirits, which is very much like Growlithe.

It’s theorized that its striped pattern is either based on tigers, which I don’t buy because it doesn’t have anything to do with tigers, a thylacine, otherwise known as a Tasmanian wolf, which I believe a bit more, or a Kai Ken, also known as a Tora Inu/Tiger Dog, which is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.

Hisuian Growlithe’s Rock typing is seemingly based off of komainu statues, which, as far as I’ve researched, are pretty damn similar to shisa legends. The only difference I can see is that shisa are from Okinawan mythology while komainu are more generally used all over Japan and are primarily guardians for Shinto shrines? Correct me if I’m wrong there.

I don’t really understand this Type change if this is accurate. If Growlithe are already based off of statues, then it doesn’t make much sense for Hisuian Growlithe to be part Rock just because it’s based off of a statue and legend that is almost identical to the one its original form was based from. Why didn’t they just say it was because of volcanoes like the Dex entry stated?

Additionally, while the Wiki doesn’t note this, the fact that Hisuian Growlithe work in pairs is also taken from both shisa and komainu legends since they’re always put out in pairs – one with its mouth open and the other with its mouth closed. The shisa legends states that one pair is always male while the other is female. The male will have its mouth closed to keep evil out of the home while the female keeps hers open to share goodness.

In the komainu legend, the one with its mouth open is pronouncing “A” the first letter of the Sanskrit alphabet while the one with the closed mouth is saying “Um,” which is the last letter. This is meant to symbolize the beginning and end of all things. Both combined create “aum” which is a sacred syllable in Sanskrit that has many meanings – far too many for me to go over here – but check out that link. It’s fascinating.

Arcanine

Name: As much love as I have for Growlithe, and it’s an awful lot, I have a tiny bit more for Arcanine. It’s a beautiful, adorable, powerful giant fire dog, and I love it to bits.

Arcanine’s name is a mixture of “Arcane” and “Canine” which kinda surprised me because I always thought the first part was meant to be based off of “Arf” like the dog noise, but “Arcane” is a much better origin for that part. So fitting, and such a cool word. I love Arcanine’s name. It has such a majestic and cool flair to it that it could easily be a Legendary name.

Speaking of legendary, while I usually don’t discuss category names, Arcanine is called the Legendary Pokemon, and this has lead to a lot of confusion. Arcanine is obviously not a Legendary Pokemon, but it is classified as THE Legendary Pokemon because it is a Pokemon of many legends and tales….Do you get it? Yeah, I don’t either. Maybe because it’s so relatively common given that Growlithe is so common it can be called a Pokemon of legend, but it’s not rare enough to be considered a Pokemon so few people have seen it’s considered simply a legend, making it Legendary?

Also doesn’t help that in episode two of the anime, Arcanine was included on a depiction of an ancient tablet with Legendary Pokemon including the Legendary Birds.

Back on topic, its Japanese name is Windie, which I was never really a fan of. It sounds overly simple and like something you’d expect them to use as a name for a Flying Type. It’s meant to be in reference to the fact that Arcanine supposedly runs faster than the wind, which I also think is flimsy. You have this awesome majestic Pokemon and your only thought is it runs faster than the wind?

Fun Fact: In the beta version of RB, it was called Blaze, which is cool, but also a bit too overly simplistic. I much prefer Arcanine.

Design: Arcanine’s design is amazing. It still has the cute characteristics of a dog, but it’s big and intimidating without looking scary. The lion attributes, though still subtle, come through much more with Arcanine than Growlithe, and it’s just the right balance here. I love that it’s big enough to ride on. When I was a kid, I always wanted to ride on an Arcanine, and I still do, to be honest. I want to give one a hug too. It’s such a cuddly-looking Pokemon.

Sprite-wise, RB looks pretty cool, actually. They made the longer parts of the fur more flowy instead of spiky and I actually think it looks awesome.

Yellow also has this really cool attitude to it. I love it.

RG looks doofy, though.

Gen II looks really cool except for Crystal where he looks like he’s about to sneeze and stops himself by gently putting his paw down.

Gen III looks really good. The animation for Emerald makes it look like it’s barking before growling really intensely, which is cool.

I don’t really have much else to say about the rest of the sprites. They’re all varying amounts of cool and cute.

Shiny:

They committed the same shiny sin to Arcanine as they did to Growlithe. He now comes in lemon flavor. The least I can say is that some versions, specifically Gen IV and V, make him look golden instead of yellow, but it’s not much consolation.

Gen II’s shiny is also brown, but it’s a bad shade of brown. Like Arcanine hasn’t taken a bath in three years and spends his days running in dirt.

Hisuian Arcanine

Aaaaggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..pbfft.

Where do I start with this thing? I don’t hate it, I just don’t like it that much. I think the tail is the best part. I like how it looks like a smoke plume, especially with the shade of dark gray they chose for the longer fur areas. I don’t dislike how the mane looks.

My opinion on it seems to vary by the minute. I never really like it that much, but I can’t bring myself to really hate it. However, if I do hate one aspect, it’s the way they changed the head design. It looks awful. I also don’t care for the shade of red they chose for the rest of the body. Unlike Hisuian Growlithe, this shade is a bit too red to the point where it’s basically fire truck red. I think having more orange in it is necessary, especially if they’re trying to pull off a lava/magma vibe. Lava/magma is not pure red.

Its shiny is, again, bright yellow. However, it works a tiny bit better with this version, because it comes off more like Arcanine changed to an Electric Type. Then I realized that this shiny looks a bit too much like a Raikou. I was going to make an Entei comparison with the main version, but I didn’t think it looked quite similar enough. But then I saw the shiny and couldn’t get Raikou out of my head.

Why yellow for ALL of the shiny versions of this line? It’s so bad. Please, if another version of this line ever comes out, choose a color besides yellow for their shiny.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Arcanine, like Growlithe, are known for their intense loyalty and bravery. They are incredibly fast and graceful runners. When running, they are considered captivating by many. They can run around 6,200 miles in 24 hours, which is insane. The fire within their bodies is said to help power it to run so far and fast. They are world-renowned for their beauty, and they are said to look like they have wings and are running on air.

In a bit of surprise, the early Dexes note that it is a legendary Pokemon in China specifically (this is later changed to “the east.”) There are legends of Arcanine working alongside military generals and conquering an entire country.

It has a bark so powerful and majestic that people actually grovel when they hear it.

Hisuian Arcanine has a fierce look, especially with fangs that they can cloak in fire, but it mostly feints and avoids fighting fairly often, choosing to playfully chase after and dance around its opponents instead…..Wait, that’s it? That’s all they have to say about Hisuian Arcanine? That’s kinda lame, actually. No notes about volcanoes or lava or rocks or what have you? Why even bother then?

Not many additional design notes for Arcanine except that it might have also been based off of Xiezhi, which…..maybe, but I doubt it? Bulbapedia says it’s a fire-breathing dog with similarities to lions and tigers, but the Wiki page for that legend specifically says it’s an ox, sheep or a goat, and there’s no mention of fire anywhere.

According to legend, the Xiezhi was called upon as a figure of justice. It could accurately detect who was guilty and who was innocent with a glance. They would signify who was guilty and innocent by ramming whomever was guilty and sparing whomever was innocent. That doesn’t sound like anything Arcanine does so….*shrug*

Hisuian Arcanine also doesn’t have any additional notes besides the very obvious fact that the tail and ankle fur look like smoke, which is very disappointing.

And that was the – eh, what should I call this one?….The Guard Dog line. I would’ve said “Legendary Dogs” but then people would probably get confused with the three Legendary cats/dogs/beasts…ya know. I still love Growlithe and Arcanine to bits and pieces, even if their only alternate versions are underwhelming. They’re just such awesome Pokemon, and they’re always high on my favorites list. I wish they existed in real life. Or at least I wish they were a bigger part of the anime. I still have trouble accepting that they wouldn’t let James keep Growly with him. Gary had an Arcanine, but we barely see him.

Next up, the Poli line!

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My Poke-Pinions | #56 and 57: The Monkey Line

Mankey

Name: Mankey’s name is either a mix of “Man” and “Monkey” or “Mad” and “Cranky.” I think they’re kinda reaching for the latter theory, and, honestly, the former doesn’t sit right with me either. I always just thought they were lazy and changed one letter of “Monkey” to make it seem new.

Mankey’s name is fine. The word “Monkey” is already pretty funny, and changing it up a bit allows it to retain the snappiness and most of the humor in the word. I just think it’s kinda lazy, is all. Mankey’s name is kept from the Japanese version. No real fun facts today either.

Design: Mankey’s design is a bit unique in that I both find it very bland and overly weird. At face value, it’s just a brown and beige monkey, which is the boring part, but then you look closer at it and it’s weird.

First of all, I wasn’t rooting for Mankey to have realistic hands, but there’s something so weird about a monkey having paws for hands. Monkeys are supposed to be all about climbing and hanging from things, and paws just don’t work very well for that. The way it looks in the main artwork, it’s like the paws don’t come off as normal paws immediately. It looks like his ‘paws’ got broken and they’re bending in the wrong direction. They’re not, but that’s how it always came off to me.

Second, its face. I’m fine with the angry eyes, He’s supposed to be an angry little shit, and he is able to easily have cute expressions. It’s his nose that weirds me out. Apparently, his pig snout is supposed to be similar to baboons, of which Mankey’s design is partially based from, and uh…..I don’t see it. I’ve never seen any monkey-like animal with a pig nose. They have pronounced and long snouts, but they don’t come off like pig noses. Then there’s Mankey’s mouth….of which it has none. It does have a mouth since it can eat, but it has no visible mouth, and that just compounds the weirdness.

Finally, we have Mankey’s feet, which are also not hands, but they’re a tiny bit better in being Y shaped grabby feet. While being more practical, they also just seem very weird. It’s like someone fused bird feet with monkey feet.

In hindsight, it’s very strange that the main theory around Mankey’s name is that it’s a combination of “Man” and “Monkey” when they took pretty much anything human-like away from any monkey’s features in order to make this design. No hands, no opposable thumbs, no human-like body shape, no human-esque facial features (they even gave it tiny pointy cat-like ears) absolutely nothing. They went out of their way to remove those typical features, and I’m not saying it’s all bad, it just creates a bit of a mish-mash of confusing feelings.

Sprite-wise, RB is…..*sigh* My feelings are confused again. Mankey obviously looked a bit different back in the day. It gives off way more ‘pig’ vibes given the weird shadow around its face, but it’s still clearly monkey-like. And that back sprite is so weird. I keep thinking Mankey’s standing on its hands.

Yellow is a bit more normal, but RG is back to being more pig-like.

Everything’s about average until Gen III, where Emerald has a pretty cool animation. Makes it look like it just won a fight or something.

Other than that, I don’t have any other notes, good or bad.

Shiny:

I’m confident in saying Mankey’s shiny is one of the worst in all of Pokemon. It’s either a muted baby poop green or it’s a muted pea soup green. Either way, it looks more like Mankey is horrifically sick than shiny. At its best, it can come off looking lime green, which is a little better, but still not by much.

Dex Entries and Backstory: The Biology section of its Wiki explains that it’s similar to New World Monkeys, and look at these horrifying motherfuckers.

They are the stuff of nightmares.

Mankey are incredibly angry all the time, and they’re very quick to attack and become uncontrollably violent. They breathe heavily when getting enraged enough to attack. It will attack until it’s exhausted and then go to sleep only to become enraged in its dreams and wake up angry again. It can’t distinguish from friend or foe when it’s on a rampage, and they travel in such tight packs that, when they lose sight of their pack members, they become enraged by loneliness.

An interesting and, I would think, incorrect statement they make in the Dex entries is that, because it is constantly releasing stress by being violent, it lives a long life……I don’t think that’s right……or a healthy message to send kids. No, you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions, even anger, but I can think of few Pokemon who are worse poster children for that message than Mankey. Yes, kids, go and lash out at anyone you see whenever you want. Hit people, break things, it’s the health way of dealing with stress.

Ash’s Pokedex also says it packs a powerful punch, which I don’t doubt because it’s a Fighting Pokemon, but can a Pokemon with those paws really “punch” anything?

Mankey’s design is seemingly based on baboons and Japanese macaques.

Primeape

Name: Primeape’s name is okay. It’s basically as one-note as Mankey, again being one letter (or….I guess two) off from the word, but Primeape is a bit more unique. It’s obviously a combination of “Primate” and “Ape.”

Its Japanese name is Okorizaku, which translates to “Angry monkey.” Really went all out on the imagination there, eh? It’s also kinda a clunky word, to be honest.

Design: I like Primeape’s design a little better than Mankey’s, but, when you get down to it, there’s not much of a difference between Primeape and Mankey. It loses the tail, gains some semblance of hands and actual feet, which I appreciate. It also, somehow, gets metal wrist and ankle shackles. But otherwise it looks pretty much the same as Mankey.

Sprite-wise, RB actually looks decent. It just looks a tiny bit less detailed than Yellow’s. RG looks…..weird. Like it’s a bootleg Primeape.

Otherwise, I don’t have a whole lot to say. HG/SS definitely has the best animation. They’re all trying to do the same kind of tantrum animation, but they’re not pulling it off. Emerald looks like it’s dancing, DPP looks like it slipped on butter. HG/SS actually pulls it off well.

Shiny:

Primeape’s shiny is arguably even worse than Mankey’s. However, the awfulness fluctuates depending on the Gen. Like Mankey, it has a very baby poop green look to it overall, but he looks horrible – absolutely horrible – in Gen III where he’s now Graham cracker brown and a deep baby poop green. That is definitely of the worst shiny sprite sets in all of Pokemon.

It looks a tiny bit better in Gen IV because it looks more lime green, and Gen V pretty much keeps the same shade, but after that it’s just back to grossness.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Almost all of the notes and Dex entries are pretty much just Mankey’s only more angry. Like in the anime episode with Ash’s Primeape, if you lock eyes with it, it will never stop chasing you in an effort to beat the crap out of you.

I was about to write off all of Primeape’s Dex entries and notes as being more or the less the same as Mankey’s until I got to its Dex entry in Sun where it says, “It has been known to become so angry that it dies as a result. Its face looks peaceful in death, however.”

…..First of all, holy shit, Pokemon. That was dark.

Second of all, that’s in direct contradiction to what they said in Mankey’s Dex entries where it said it has a long lifespan because it’s constantly letting off stress and anger.

This entry only made me more confused when we got to Ultra Moon where it says, “The blood vessels in its brain are sturdier than those of other Pokémon, so it can stay healthy despite its constant raging.”

Which is it!? Is it a heart attack waiting to happen or is it super healthy? I don’t get this at all.

And that was the monkey line. Had more to say than I thought I would, but I still didn’t wind up saying a lot. They’re fine Pokemon. They definitely wouldn’t be my first choice of Fighting Pokemon, not even in Gen I….Actually……They’d probably be my last choices in Gen I of Fighting Pokemon. Literally every other Fighting Pokemon seems more appealing than these two. My favorite Gen I Fighting Type was always Hitmonchan, but I also really like Machoke and Machamp, and Hitmonlee has definitely grown on me. Machop’s probably closest to the bottom in Gen I, but I still prefer it over Mankey and Primeape.

I will admit that they can be entertaining when they’re goofing around, but that’s about it.

I don’t even have any nostalgic connection with Primeape considering Ash had one because he only used it literally once and then just left it with some guy he barely knew for no real reason forever.

Next up, it’s GROWLITHE AND ARCANINE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

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My Poke-Pinions | #54 and 55: The Duck Line

Psyduck

Name: A combination of the words ‘Psychic’ and ‘Duck’ Psyduck has a very simple but effective, funny, snappy and cute name. Few names in the Pokemon franchise are as iconic as little ol’ Psyduck.

Originally, it was named Koduck, which was ‘Duck’ in combination with ‘Ko’ for ‘small’ or ‘child’ which is fitting. Koduck’s a cute name too, but I love Psyduck much more.

Fun Fact: In French, it’s called Psykokwak, which is one of the best words I’ve ever heard in my life. It sounds like a metal band name. In Korea, it’s called Gorapaduck, which is also really cute and funny. It’s a combination of ‘Duck’ with ‘Gol’ for ‘brain’ or ‘head’ and ‘Apueda’ for ‘Sick’ or ‘Hurt’ in reference to its constant headache.

….Oh and in German, it’s called Enton, which I found hilarious. It comes from ‘Ente’ for ‘Duck’ but it just sounds like some dude’s name.

Design: Like its name, Psyduck’s design is quite simple, being just a pudgy, doofy yellow duck, but I do think Psyduck is pretty darn cute. I absolutely love ducks. They’re one of my favorite animals of all time. You can bet I’ll love pretty much anything if it has a duck on it. I just want to give Psyduck a hug. It’s like a big rubber ducky. Granted, it is kinda weirdly shaped for a duck. It doesn’t really have wings, and it doesn’t look like it’d swim very well at all (Misty’s Psyduck can’t swim…) but I still think it’s really cute.

Sprite-wise, I think Silver is really cute because it looks like its booping its own bill.

Look at Emerald’s little dance!

I don’t get DP at all….is it on a swing or what’s happening there?

HG/SS is hilarious. It looks like it’s being scared shitless.

Gen V is adorable. It’s just tilting its head quizzically, like a puppy.

Everything else is fine.

Shiny:

I love Psyduck’s shiny version. Not sure it’s one of my absolute favorites, but I do love it. It’s a great shade of blue for the body with a suitable shade of blue for the bill, and blue works very well as a shiny form for a non-blue Water Pokemon.

In Gen II, its coloring is a little different. It has a darker shade of blue, almost a purple, and I think it looks really cool.

Dex Entries and Backstory: As you probably guessed, a good chunk of Psyduck’s lore has to do with its intense and constant headache. It’s always seen holding its head because of the headache, and it’s mostly vacant and static demeanor are also attributed to trying to calm the pain, which is actually quite sad. When the headache gets particularly bad, it will unleash powerful psychic abilities. However, people are uncertain whether most Psyduck intend to do this.

Crystal mentions that the psychic abilities only manifest when the sleeping cells in Psyduck’s brain wake up….whatever that means. It never remembers these psychic episodes, which is why it constantly looks confused. Additionally, the more painful the headache, the more powerful the psychic powers that accompany these episodes.

Apparently in Legends: Arceus, the Pokedex notes that someone is trying to find a way to ease Psyduck’s headache pain, which is nice to hear after over a decade of people abusing the poor thing’s condition to use its psychic powers, COUGHCOUGHMISTYCOUGHCOUGH.

In regards to design, Psyduck is obviously based on a duck, but particularly it is inspired by the looks of rubber ducks, and it also seems to have physical traits of platypuses.

Golduck

Name: A mixture of ‘Gold’ and ‘Duck’ Golduck’s name is alright. It’s not as snappy as Psyduck, and I never quite got the ‘Gol’ part. I literally just learned right this moment that it’s for ‘Gold’ but I still didn’t understand why. Apparently, it’s because gold symbolizes psychic powers….and…sure. Okay? It’s a fine name, I just wish it were a little cooler and made more sense. Its original Japanese name is retained here.

Fun Fact: In France, it’s known as Akwakwak, for ‘Aquatique’ (aquatic) and ‘Couac’ (quack) which is amazing, one of my new favorite things ever, and the fact that that’s not the English name is a crime.

Design: I’ve always loved Golduck’s design. It’s one of my favorite Pokemon. It has a cool looking face, I like the jewel on its forehead, it’s a great shade of blue, and it does manage to look intimidating from its humble roots as a Psyduck.

My only real issue with it is that it doesn’t look like Psyduck in the slightest besides the fact that they’re both ducks. This isn’t inherently a deal breaker as many evolutions don’t look like their predecessors, but it does bug me when evolved Pokemon don’t look like their pre-evos at all because part of the fun of evos is taking something that looks small or childish and altering it in various manners to make it look like a tougher and more powerful Pokemon. Anyone can take two completely dissimilar Pokemon and claim they’re evolutions. Part of the challenge of Pokemon design is building upon base evos and making them look stronger.

Sprite-Wise, Gen I is hilarious. RB looks like it was hastily drawn by a second grader, and RG looks like its doing its damnedest to give a kawaii expression.

Yellow looks much better, but I must point out its back spite in that it’s not a back sprite at all. It’s a side profile. And it is awful. Its tail is pointing straight up, its shoulder is crammed into its head, its eye is pure white and makes it look dead. It’s one of the weirder back sprites I’ve seen.

Gen II’s alright with the highlight being the cool slashing animation on Crystal.

Gen III is alright. The animation on Emerald looks like it’s dodging something for whatever reason.

In Gen IV, DP looks insanely goofy because it looks like it accidentally set foot on very hot sand at the beach.

Platinum isn’t any better as it looks like it just barely avoided accidentally walking off a cliff.

HG/SS is a simply yell animation, and that’s fine.

The loop animation for Gen V is alright, and every other Gen is fine.

Shiny:

Golduck’s shiny is really nice. It’s what I like to refer to as a blue raspberry shade of blue with some pink in the bill.

Gen II’s version is quite weird, though, as the shiny pretty much looks like normal Golduck while the normal version looks purple in GS and navy blue in Crystal.

Dex Entries and Backstory: One of the weirdest things about Golduck is that it differentiates itself even further from Psyduck by most of the Dex entries not mentioning anything about psychic powers. Most of them just mention that it’s an incredibly fast swimmer and even claims it’s the fastest swimming Pokemon. It’s also such a powerful swimmer that even swimming in harsh seas doesn’t affect it at all, and its powerful swimming abilities have been used to help rescue sailors from shipwrecks.

It’s commonly mistaken for a kappa, which is a design aspect added to the evolution (IE the webbed hands).

Its psychic powers do get mentioned here and there, but nowhere near to the extent of focus that its given with Psyduck. It also seems like Golduck’s psychic power is at its peak when its swimming particularly fast for some reason.

Speaking of the jewel, Sun states that people believe the jewel grants the owner supernatural powers. As a result, Golduck were over-hunted for their jewels in the past, which is awful.

It will also fish along the banks of rivers, which is a quaint little note to cover before we get to Shield where apparently the newest legend around Golduck is that those who defiled its river were dragged underwater and “taken away” which I think is implying ancient Golduck drowned them, which…Uh…holy shit.

And uh…on that dark note we close out the Duck line.

Next time, we tackle the Monkey line!

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My Poke-Pinions | #052-053 (863) The Meow Line

Meowth

Name: Meowth is a combination of ‘meow’ and either ‘mouth’ which doesn’t make sense to me, or ‘wealth’ which makes a lot more sense to me. It’s also possible that they based Meowth’s name partially on its Japanese name, which is Nyasu or Nyarth, just replacing the Japanese sound for a cat’s cry, ‘nya’ with a more westernly common onomatopoeia, ‘meow.’

I like Meowth’s name just fine, it’s fitting and cute. While I also like Nyasu just fine, I find its Japanese name to be frustrating because almost no one can agree on whether it’s supposed to be Nyasu or Nyarth. The last hiragana in the name is for ‘su’ but so many sources choose to call it Nyarth, including Bulbapedia. I tend to call it Nyasu, but I feel like people who claim that’s wrong are not really incorrect in claiming so.

The explanation for the tail end of Nyasu’s name, that I can’t really understand, is that it “may” be meant to reference ‘shamu’ just with the syllables switched (Which would be musha, I think? But it doesn’t say that) and that, together, it literally makes Myasu, which I can’t understand at all, and that shamu/musha is really referencing Siam in regards to Siamese cats.

Look, I have no idea. All I know is that Meowth’s Japanese name is really frustratingly confusing.

Design: I find Meowth to be really cute, even with years of overexposure. It’s just a cat with a coin on its head, but it’s a cute cat with a coin on its head. Really, the coin does so much more for Meowth’s design than anyone would probably think. It’s just one feature, but it stands out so much that it’s a trademark.

I do have to say that, oddly, Meowth looks a little awkward when on four legs. Maybe it’s just because I’m used to seeing Team Rocket’s Meowth (though, to be fair, most Meowth are depicted as being on their hind legs now) but it’s still weird.

Most of the sprites for Meowth are varying degrees of really cute. R/G is a bit weird, though, because they were leaning more heavily towards the Maneki-neko inspiration, and he winds up looking like a toy or a statue.

Absolutely love the wink in Crystal’s animation.

Emerald is still cute, but the twitch is a little off-putting.

They actually managed to make Meowth look threatening in D/P/P.

Although he’s back to adorable in HG/SS.

Gen V’s animation is really funny to me. It’s like when a little kid is pretending they know karate.

Admittedly, Gen VI and beyond look really, really creepy when not animated, because it just has dead eyes.

Alolan Meowth

Alolan Meowth looks….okay. I really don’t have much to say about it at all, either good nor bad. It’s a nice steel gray color, the eye shape is nice….It’s fine. I think its posing and whiskers are a bit weird, but otherwise it’s okay.

Gigantamax Meowth

Okay, when I first saw this image way back when it was first released, I thought this was super dumb. They just super-stretched out a Meowth, added some stuff near its face and called it a day. But now that I’m really looking at it, I think it’s actually pretty cool. It definitely gives off the air like it’s this crazy supernatural giant malformed version of a Meowth, and I love the shadows on the top with the smoke clouds and the glowing eyes.

Galarian Meowth

What the hell is this thing? It looks like Taz from Looney Tunes fused with a Meowth. Also, I don’t care for the black coin. The coin is what makes Meowth Meowth. Turning it black just makes it look like some weird thing on its head. I get why its black, but I don’t care for it being black. I had to double take because this just doesn’t look like a Meowth. It has some Meowth-esque features, but this isn’t a Meowth to me.

Shiny:

Eeehhhhhhh this shiny needs work. It’s half lazy in that it’s mostly just a darkened Meowth, but the brown parts are replaced with this bubblegum pink color, and I don’t think it works at all. If you’re going to change something so drastically, I feel like you have to change the rest drastically in order to fit. Beige and brown to a slightly darker beige and bubblegum pink is just awkward.

Admittedly, the Gen II shiny sprites look the best because the pink is more of a magenta or purple-ish color, but it definitely wouldn’t be my first choice of shiny for Meowth. It needs a shiny rework.

Shiny Alolan Meowth looks fairly good. It’s a darker steel blue-like color with purple where the white was. The only part I don’t care for is the ears. I don’t know why they opted for an olive-green color where the black was. It doesn’t match very well, if you ask me.

Shiny Gigantamax Meowth didn’t look any different to me upon first glance because it has a hot pink aura around it, but it’s the same shiny scheme as regular shiny Meowth – darker beige with pink, which is disappointing.

Shiny Galarian Meowth is strange. It has the base fur color of Meowth with white eyes, so it looks a lot more like it’s a Meowth form than the normal Galarian Meowth does. I don’t know how I feel about that, but, for the record, I like the shiny version better than the original.

Dex Entries and Backstory: The Dex entries can’t seem to decide if it’s round or shiny things that Meowth loves most as it goes back and forth claiming it’s obsessed with one or the other. Meowth will spend most of its day sleeping while it roams the streets of cities at night looking for coins, which it pursues either because they’re round or because they’re shiny (or both?) Like a normal cat, it has retractable claws, and it typically retracts them to be more sneaky when wandering the streets. In later Gens, Meowth are noted to get into fights with Murkrow over shiny objects. You can make friends easily with Meowth by giving them coins, but Meowth, being cats, are so fickle that friendships made this way typically don’t last.

In regards to design, I’ve already touched upon the fact that Meowth are based on the Japanese legend of Maneki-Neko, which you’re probably familiar with even if you don’t know many Japanese legends. They’re those little cat statues that you see even in some western shops with the big koban coins on their collars, which is where Meowth gets the big coin on its head. They’re very common in Japanese businesses because they’re meant to beckon people into their establishments to buy things, and they’re said to bring good fortune.

Meowth are seemingly based on Siamese cats in regards to style and coloring, but the Wiki also states that the original Japanese classification, Bakeneko, implies that it’s based on the, well, bakeneko legend. There is way too much involving the various legends of bakeneko for me to cover here, so let’s just leave it at them being supernatural, ghost or yokai cats.

Like some other Pokemon, Alolan Meowth didn’t originate in Alola but instead came to be when normal Meowth were brought to the region.

They’re assholes.

That is the majority of what I gleamed from its Dex entries. They’re selfish, fickle, quick to fly into a rage if their pride is wounded or their coin is dirtied, they’re very spoiled because they used to live with royalty, they’re ruthless in battle, cunning, incredibly proud and “famously difficult to handle.”

There’s no information on what Alolan Meowth may be based on in terms of either origins or design.

There’s not a lot of information on Gigantamax Meowth outside of its two Dex entries in Gen VIII where the entry for Shield is SUPER informative and helpful by basically saying ‘A Meowth that has grown larger thanks to Gigantamax power.’

And Sword, which states that the symbol on its coin is said to hold the secrets to the Dynamax phenomenon, but why they think that isn’t mentioned.

Apparently, and this makes no sense to me, Galarian Meowth are Meowth who spent so much time with savage seafaring people that parts of their body started turning to iron (???) The coin on its head has also hardened and became black. It’s said that the harder and darker the coin is, the more respect it gets from other Galarian Meowth. They’re meant to be based on Norwegian Forest Cats, which, honestly, don’t look any different from a typical cat to me, and DEFINITELY don’t look anything like this mess. They do have beard-like poofs in their fur, which I guess may be reflected in Galarian Meowth, but that was also said to be more referencing the fact that they were most commonly owned by vikings. The Wiki doesn’t say this, but I assume that’s also why Galarian Meowth has its fur shaped into tiny horns on the top of its head, like the stereotypical (and historically incorrect) viking helmets? I dunno.

Persian

Name: Persian’s name is strange. It’s very fitting and slick, but you’d think it’d be spelled Purrsian or something, to fit in with the cat sounds theme of Meowth, but it’s not – it’s just the word ‘Persian.’ It makes the name come off like it’s uncreative, and additionally makes no sense because Persian is referencing Persia, which shouldn’t exist in the Pokemon world.

Also, believe it or not, the Japanese name is exactly the same.

Fun Fact: In Germany, it’s called Snobilikat, which is a combination of ‘snob’, ‘nobilis’ which is Latin for ‘noble’ and ‘katze’ which German for ‘cat.’ I think that’s an absolutely amazing name on all fronts.

Design: Persian looks fine. It’s both cute and threatening-looking, but as a Pokemon it is very plain, even moreso than Meowth. It’s just a big beige feline. If Persian existed in real life, it wouldn’t seem out of place among normal animals, outside of the little jewel. It does bother me that Meowth lost its coin upon evolution (Where did it go?) and got this little red jewel that has no explanation.

Sprite-wise, I don’t really have any notes for any Gen. All of the sprites, even early Gens, look fine. They’re either cute or threatening or both.

Alolan Persian

Oh god, here we go. What is this ugly-ass thing? It looks exactly like a gray Persian had an allergic reaction and desperately needs an epi-pen. Admittedly, its head shape does make it look more connected to Meowth, but that doesn’t mean it makes the design any better. It is awful. If I saw this thing, I’d take to the vet because it obviously has some sort of glandular issue in its face.

Also, its jewel is now blue for some reason.

Galarian Persian

Doesn’t exist. I’ll get to that in a little while…..

Shiny:

It’s the same as shiny Meowth only much lazier. It’s slightly lighter instead of darker, and the only pink area is in the ears……ya know….where pink commonly is on any animal. It’s really hard to tell the difference between normal and shiny Persian. You really need to sit for a second and basically ‘spot the difference’ it.

Shiny Alolan Persian is exactly the same as shiny Alolan Meowth.

Dex Entries and Backstory: It’s a very sophisticated and beautiful Pokemon much sought-after as a pet, especially for rich people, because of its shiny fur and sparkling/glowing forehead jewel, but it’s also noted as being notoriously difficult to keep as a pet because it will attack for literally no reason and is particularly vicious, even to its owners. It will attack anyone who looks it in the eye. It’s also so prideful and snooty that it’s even more difficult to make friends with a Persian than with a Meowth.

Fans of Persian do apparently discuss the size of a Persian’s jewel a lot, which…..I dunno how much mileage you’d get out of those conversations.

“That Persian’s jewel is quite big.”

“Yes, quite.”

“That Persian’s jewel is not quite as big.”

“No, not quite.”

Sadly, Persian are also hunted for their jewels.

Its whiskers are very sensitive, and they use the air movement around their whiskers to sense things in the environment. Oddly, it’s also noted that yanking on a Persian’s whiskers makes it docile. I’d think that’d make it super pissed, but okay. It will also stick its tail straight up when it’s about to attack.

Finally, Persian’s temperament puts it at direct odds with Perrserker, which, again, we’ll talk about in a bit.

In terms of design, Persian was based off of Persian leopards and other large felines, with its facial features being attributed to Siamese cats. The Wiki says the jewel is meant to resemble a Carbuncle, and I implore you to not Google image search that word without ‘jewel’ or ‘legend’ with the search keywords.

Alolan Persian are assholes.

I’m not kidding. It’s basically the same stuff as Alolan Meowth only worse because Alolan Persian will have fun trying to kill you in addition to being a snotty prick. It will fight dirty and brutally tortures its weak prey instead of finishing it off……Wow.

What’s especially funny is that you can only get an Alolan Meowth to evolve to Alolan Persian by leveling it up with high friendship…..

Its ugly-ass round head is by design. It’s said that the round face is a symbol of wealth and prosperity in Alola – the bigger and rounder the face the better. It also has an amazingly silky and beautiful coat, making it a favorite Pokemon in high-class environments.

Design-wise, the Wiki states that Alolan Persian was likely based on British Shorthairs, which were bred in such a manner than they developed trademark round faces, and its coloring both in fur and jewel may be based specifically on the British Blue type of British Shorthair…….And then it also states that maybe it has a big head because it’s a visual pun on the term ‘big-headed,’ as in egotistical, which made me chuckle. “Ah, yes, the elegant Alolan Persian is likely based off of this beautiful British breed of cat that is highly regarded and popular……or it just has a fat head, I dunno.”

What I find funny about the British Shorthair connection is that their Wiki page specifically says those cats are easygoing, extremely sweet and devoted to their owners, which is the exact opposite of what they’re saying about Alolan Persian. Although, interestingly, when the popularity of British Shorthairs were waning in the early 1900s, they started breeding them with the more popular Persians, creating the British Longhairs.

Perrserker

I had no idea how to list this because, technically, it’s not a new Meowth evolution nor is it a different form of Persian. It’s a new evolution purely for the Galarian version of Meowth only. Why they didn’t just have Galarian Persian, I have no idea. Soooo….Uhm….enjoy this awkwardly placed entry for Perrserker….

Name: Honestly, I like Perrserker’s name. It’s a mixture of ‘purr’ or ‘Persian’ and ‘berserker.’ I always thought the word ‘berserker’ was really awesome, which makes me kinda bummed that it’s reserved for…..this. It also frustrates me that they add the extra ‘r’ but don’t spell it ‘Purrserker.’ It’s right there. Just make it say ‘purr.’

Its Japanese name is Nyaking, which supposed to be a mixture of ‘nya’ and ‘viking’ or ‘king.’ I get the viking thing, but without the ‘vi’ part, people are just going to assume it’s ‘king.’

Fun Fact: In Germany, it’s known as Mauzinger, which not only makes me think of Mazinger Z, but is also really cool because it’s just the German version of the Japanese name as in it’s ‘mauzen’ which is the German onomatopoeia for cat sounds, and ‘wikinger’ which is German for ‘viking.’

Design: Ew.

I don’t even feel like elaborating.

Just ew.

This is…no. There’s nothing right about this Pokemon, except maybe its goofy-ass expression. It looks awful, and why this is related in the slightest to the Meowth line baffles me immensely. It doesn’t even look like a cat anymore. Does it even have ears? What is that weird huge tail? That’s not even a coin on its head anymore. It’s just some weird bulge that comes to a coin-shaped end. Ugh, go away.

Shiny:

Ew.

It’s YELLOW.

It’s not even beige like Meowth and Persian. It’s just straight yellow where the brown was. The brown was ugly enough, but the shiny makes it super ugly. Ew.

Dex Entries and Backstory: It has hair oddly shaped like a viking helmet, it’s even hardened to a metal-like consistency, but it’s still just hair. Ew. Perrserker lives for battle, and can even turn its claws into daggers, which are really the only cool thing about it.

Perrserker has a very scattered design explanation. It is obviously based on vikings, even moreso than Galarian Meowth was, and its name and behavior are based on berserkers of Norse legend. I have no idea why because, while berserkers had several animal variants, none of them were feline in nature. There were bears, wolves and boars – no felines of any kind. Perrserker may also be based on Freya’s cats, Bygul and Trjegul. Bygul means ‘honey’ while Trjegul means ‘amber’ which is supposedly the explanation behind the colors of the normal and shiny versions of Perrserker, but I don’t particularly believe that. Maybe honey for the shiny, maybe, but amber for the normal? No. It’s not orange at all. It’s brown. Being fair, not only are these names not technically accurate because the legends never gave the cats names (Any names listed were made up by writers years later) but also the cats were supposedly blue or gray in color, which means their names didn’t make any sense for them either.

Its Steel typing is meant to be because of the iron vikings commonly used in their helmets and weapons, which…okay? I really don’t understand how new Pokemon species come into existence if shit like this happens. Vulpix becoming an Ice type because it suddenly had to live in snowy mountains, fine. But because a bunch of Meowth spent a few hundred years with vikings, suddenly they not only change their base appearance entirely, but they evolve into a completely different Pokemon than they evolved into before, have beard-like fur and their hair hardens into a metal-like substance that forms a stereotypical viking helmet?

Finally, Bulbapedia states that its weird grin could be based off of the Cheshire Cat……..the hell? What does that have to do with vikings or Norse mythology or anything? This Pokemon is so confusing. Honestly, I don’t get why the Alolan or the Galarian Meowth/Persian and Perrserker exist. They don’t add anything interesting to the lore nor do they have any really interesting features just as standalone Pokemon, and most of them are fugly.

Meowth wound up getting more forms than Pikachu, and that’s really friggin’ weird. It got an entirely new evolution and everything. I wonder if they don’t like changing too much with Pikachu because they’re worried about backlash. I mean, they created Alolan Raichu without an Alolan Pikachu or Pichu, and that’s even more confusing. These new forms are confusing as a whole, but the more I learn about them the more confused I get.

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And that was the Meow line. I honestly didn’t realize what a rabbit hole this was until it was too late. I’m still confused on why Meowth has so many forms. The only form it didn’t get was a Mega form, and that’s kinda offset by having a Gigantamax form.

Next time, we’ll have an easier time with the ‘duck line!

Previous – The Dig Line

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My Poke-Pinions | #50 and 51 – The Dig Line

Diglett

Name: Diglett is an adorable name. It’s easy to remember, cute and fitting. It’s fairly self-explanatory. Its Japanese is name Digda, which is as cute if not cuter than Diglett. Digda just seems to be based only on the word ‘dig.’

Fun Fact: In France, it’s known as Taupiqueur, which is derived from ‘taupe’ for ‘mole’ and ‘marteau-piqueer’ for jackhammer, which is pretty cool.

Design: Despite Diglett being an absolute cutie, its design is still almost ridiculously simplistic. It’s literally just four pill shapes. Pill-shaped body, pill-shaped nose…mouth…thing, and two pill-shaped eyes. It definitely works, I won’t lie, but they really didn’t pull out the creativity with the thing outside of never showing its bottom half.

Alolan Diglett

I feel like whoever made Alolan Diglett was a troll. Like, ‘What if we made Diglett a little darker and gave it three little hairs that are somehow made of metal and called it a new version of the Pokemon?’ Despite there not being much difference between the two, I don’t actually care much for Alolan Diglett. Something about those little hairs makes it somehow lose cuteness points with me.

Sprite-wise, Gen I looks normal until Green where it looks more like a baby Diglett, which is pretty cute.

Crystal looks like it’s trying to kiss something.

I like Emerald’s animation of it going underground.

Nothing much worth mentioning after that.

Shiny:

A simplistic Pokemon comes with a simplistic shiny. All that’s changed about shiny Diglett is that the brown color is SLIGHTLY darker and the nose mouth thing is blue. While I usually love blue shinies, and there’s really nothing wrong with this shiny, I can’t stop thinking that this looks like a Diglett that’s suffocating.

Shiny Alolan Diglett does the same thing.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Diglett digs.

Alright, they also gnaw on roots underground, destroying the crops of many farmers. Ironically, many Diglett are domesticated and are trained to work on farms since they quickly and effectively till soil. Farmers will plant trees that Diglett enjoy most around their crops so they’ll till the land when they move back and forth between them. Also, their droppings make good fertilizer….yay.

Wait, they can see their droppings, yet we’ve never seen a Diglett’s lower half?

No one knows exactly how big a Diglett is, and the size listed in the Pokedex is based purely on how much of its body peeks out of the ground.

Here’s something I found very interesting – Diglett’s skin is thin and weak. It can’t be exposed to light otherwise its blood will heat up and weaken it. In Clefairy and the Moon Stone, I criticized the fact that they said the lights being put up throughout the caves in Mt. Moon were having a negative impact on the Ground Pokemon. They stated that the heat from the lights was causing the Ground Pokemon to dry up, weakening them, which didn’t make much sense to me because Ground Pokemon thrive on dry environments and hate water. Well, I guess at least for Diglett, I have a reasonable answer.

Kinda weird that Diglett have thin skin, though, considering that you’d think it’d need tough skin to dig around in the dirt and rocks all day. However, I do have to note that, in the anime, Diglett show up a lot in the sunlight.

Alolan Diglett is stronger than regular Diglett because they dig through volcanic rock. The high iron content of the soil gave them three metallic ‘whiskers’ on their head through which they can communicate and sense their surroundings above ground.

In terms of design, Diglett is based less on real moles and more on the moles seen in Whac-A-Mole games.

Alolan Diglett’s whiskers are based on Pele’s hair, which are strands of volcanic glass found in Hawaii. It’s not metallic, it’s more pure rock closer to granite, but it does appear to be yellow or golden, mimicking the color of blond hair. The black dirt around the Alolan Diglett is likely in reference to black sand found near volcanoes and/or black magnetic sand since it’s also adopted Steel-typing in this form. That’s actually pretty neat, but considering the dirt isn’t REALLY a part of the Pokemon, it’s hard to say that I can give it anymore points for that.

Dugtrio

Name: Dugtrio’s name is extremely fitting. It’s slightly more intimidating than Diglett and reflects its…..three-ness very well. It has the same name in both English and Japanese.

Design: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first of several Pokemon evolutions where the brilliant idea was “Let’s take three of (x) and smush them together to make a new Pokemon!” I don’t hate Dugtrio, I just think the design is lazy, much like with Magneton and Dodrio. The most they do to differentiate it is give it an angry expression, but only like half the time.

Alolan Dugtrio

If someone was kinda trolling when they made Alolan Diglett, someone was top tier trolling when they made Alolan Dugtrio. When this image was first released, I laughed out loud for several minutes. This is just a Dugtrio in three stupid blond wigs. They look ridiculous. They look like they fused with Hanson. I don’t care if there’s lore here – at the end of the day, they have one of the stupidest most goofy designs I’ve ever seen in Pokemon.

Sprite-Wise, there’s not much to say. Crystal’s animation is pretty cute, but that’s about it.

Shiny:

Same as Diglett. Just a little darker and blue nose mouth thing. I think the shade of blue for Dugtrio might be just slightly deeper, but that’s about it.

Shiny Alolan Dugtrio is the same way, but looks worse than shiny Alolan Diglett purely due to the fucking stupid hair. Because the brown color is darker, the contrast with the blond hair is much more apparent, making it somehow look even worse than it originally did. Please save me from this bleached blond hell.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Why didn’t Ash’s Pokedex have any information on Dugtrio in episode 31? It’s not a mysterious Pokemon by any means besides the no lower half thing. Hm.

Dugtrio is either three Diglett fused together for some reason and somehow or a single Diglett split off into three heads. They all think the same thoughts and act together, which is the polar opposite of Dodrio, interestingly. Although, one section said the heads will sometimes fight each other food.

It can move underground at speeds upwards of 60 MPH and can create earthquakes, and that’s about it besides stuff it retained from its Diglett form.

Alolan Dugtrio is regarded as a deity, and no I’m not kidding. Remember how I said that Alolan Diglett’s whiskers were based on Pele’s Hair? The name Pele comes from the Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes, Pele. She created the islands of Hawaii, and she’s a very popular and respected Hawaiian deity. Alolan Dugtrio didn’t just use Pele’s hair in its design and conception – it also used Pele herself as inspiration.

In addition to being viewed as a deity, Alolan Dugtrio is also specifically said to be feminine deities of Alola incarnate, and there’s also a curse associated with Alolan Dugtrio – keeping any of its fallen hairs will bring the person bad luck. This is based on Pele’s curse where any visitor will be cursed if they take and keep anything from her island.

Pokemon, Game Freak, Nintendo, what are you doing? I’m not Hawaiian nor can I speak for any Hawaiians, so I won’t attest to how offended they might be, if at all, but I don’t think there’s any denying that this is overall insulting. You set an entire region in a place that is akin to Hawaii, use one of their most beloved (and fairly feared) deities for a Pokemon design, and you squeeze out that janky blond turd.

Can you imagine anyone worshiping an Alolan Dugtrio? How ridiculous that would look? There are some pretty weird religious practices in Pokemon, but I would be embarrassed watching anyone praying to a Dugtrio with a perm.

What’s even more embarrassing is that the design is also based off of the look of many typical surfer dudes, particularly the SoCal surfers that likely frequent Hawaii as tourists.

The only other things of note in the Dex entries are that its metal ‘whiskers’ are heavy and slow it down, but provide it with a lot of force to go through bedrock. They also act as helmets and sensors to help it as it travels.

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And that was the Dig line. Quite the ride that was. I didn’t have much to say about regular Diglett and Dugtrio, but damn the decisions made with the Alolan versions. Diglett may be a simple little thing, but it is cute and effective at what it does. Dugtrio may be a lazy evo, but……uhh…..at least it sounds cool when chanting with Diglett. Digletty, Digletty! TRIO TRIO TRIO!

The Alolan versions can kiss my ass. Call me grumpy and old all you want about my opinions on some mega and Alolan etc. versions, but these are just insultingly bad on every level. They’re uncreative or laughably goofy at best and headache-ingly goofy and offensive at worst.

Next up, Meowth and Persian! We have a LOT to cover here.

Previous – the Veno Line

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My Poke-Pinions | #48 and 49 – The Veno Line

Venonat

Name: Venonat is a pretty cute name. It’s fitting, snappy and, for lack of a better term, ‘buggy.’ It’s a combination of ‘venom’ and ‘gnat.’

In Japanese, it’s called Kongpang, which I don’t care for at all. It’s not a cute name, it’s kinda clunky, and it just sounds weird to me. This name is supposedly derived from the word ‘konchu’ meaning ‘insect’ which, well, fair enough, I guess. It is an insect.

Fun Fact: In France, it’s called Mimitoss, which is really cute (derived from ‘mimi,’ meaning ‘cute’, ‘mite,’ meaning ‘moth’ and ‘grosse,’ meaning ‘big.’) In German, it’s Bluzuk, which, while awkward, still sounds awesome. Bluzuk is derived from ‘blut,’ meaning ‘blood’ and ‘zutzlen,’ meaning ‘to suck.’ Very fitting and badass. Finally, in Mandarin, it’s Maoqui, which adorably means ‘fur ball,’ which I find to be adorable.

Design: Venonat has always been one of my favorite Bug Pokemon. I love its big red eyes, its furry purple body and its little hands and feet. It’s quite adorable.

Sprite-wise, R/B/G are cute, but Yellow is a bit too overly purple. There’s no part of it that isn’t purple. Technically, all of Gen I has this issue with Venonat, but Yellow’s is particularly bright purple.

Gen II is cute, with an adorable eye flashing animation in Crystal.

Gen III is still keeping up the cute, this time giving it a little dance in Emerald.

All of the Gens after this are still very cute with the only one I feel like mentioning in particular being HG/SS where it gets a tiny little cute kick animation.

Shiny:

Shiny Venonat is very simple yet cool. I really love the shade of blue that they used for its eyes and mouth. I do really like the shiny as a whole, I just wish they had maybe changed Venonat’s fur color to something other than purple, because now the whole color scheme clashes. For some reason, I feel like it’d be cool if they changed Venonat’s fur to be white and changed the eyes and mouth to that blue color. There aren’t many white shinies, and I think it’d look awesome that way.

Gen II’s first shot at this shiny made the fur more of a blue color than a purple, and I think it worked a lot better than just blue eyes. Sad to see that they didn’t keep that color scheme.

Dex Entries and Backstory: The most prominent detail of Venonat’s physiology is, of course, its large red compound eyes that can light up. Venonat’s eyes provide it with intensely powerful vision and radar, which it uses to catch prey at night. Venonat is nocturnal, though this doesn’t seem to be something that’s true in the anime since they’re always out during the day, and they like to sleep in the dark holes of trees.

Venonat’s stiff fur is coated in poison that releases in higher quantities the more it shakes, which I honestly never knew. I thought Venomoth was the only legitimately toxic one of the two. I guess Venonat isn’t any other Pokemon’s prey, then. That’s good.

In terms of design, Venonat seems to be based on the common flea and venomous caterpillars like the puss caterpillar, which becomes the flannel moth. The flea accounts for its mouth, body shape and hopping while the venomous caterpillars inspired the fluffy body, toxic hairs and transformation into a moth.

Venomoth

Name: Venomoth’s name is a combination of ‘venom’ and ‘moth.’ I like the name well enough. It’s very fitting, sounds fine and builds upon Venonat’s name well.

In Japanese, it’s called Morphon, which…..is a…good name. I like it. It’s cool and memorable. It suits the, uh….the metamorphosis of Venonat….into…..Venomo—IT’S MORPHON TIME!

Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.

Morphon is not just in reference to the word ‘metamorphosis,’ poking at the transformation Venonat undergoes upon evolution, but also the genus of butterfly called Morpho.

Fun Fact: In France, it’s known as Aeromite (derived from ‘aero’ for ‘air’ and ‘mite’ for ‘moth’), which I think sounds cooler.

Design: Venomoth looks…….fine. It’s a moth alright. It’s a little cute, but it’s really just a moth. There’s not much about it that stands out besides its almost comical googly eyes. Why did it lose Venonat’s big red compound eyes? I like the lavender color scheme, but there’s no contrast at all. The cutest official Venomoth image I’ve seen is the one from Pokemon Shuffle/Battle Trozei.

Put it this way, if not for Pokedex completion reasons, I’d never evolve a perfectly good Venonat into a Venomoth.

I really don’t have anything to say about any of the sprites. Some of the early Gen sprites were way too color saturated, Yellow in particular being super purple, and Gen II’s sprite was more pinkish with a more purple shiny, but that’s about it.

Shiny:

I love Shiny Venomoth’s color. It is a GORGEOUS shade of blue. Not much else to it, though.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Venomoth’s Dex entries are basically just regurgitations of Venonat’s. Venomoth also chases prey at night, stays in trees, has good vision and radar vision, and it is covered in poison which gets dispersed as it moves. The only real differences are that the poison is in the form of dust-like scales instead of being secreted onto fur and that the color indicates what the poison will do. However, even that is quite a bland note. If the powder is light, it will paralyze you. If it’s dark, it will poison you. The Pokedex in Pokemon Adventures also indicated that Venomoth have a short life span, but I’m not sure if that’s canon.

In terms of design, hold on to your hats folks – it was based on a moth. Specifically, it was based on swallowtail moths or Uraniidae, which also secrete poison onto their wings. It’s also speculated that the fangs may be in reference to vampire moths. The shiny version seems to be based on the blue morpho butterfly, which is very fitting considering its namesake.

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And that was the Veno line, folks. Really not all that much to discuss, sadly. I do love Venonat, and Venomoth is fine, but there’s just not a whole lot to them as Pokemon.

Next up, the Dig line!

Previous – the Paras Line

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My Poke-Pinions | #46 and 47: The Paras Line

Paras

Name: Paras’ name is the same in English and Japanese, and it’s based on the word ‘parasite.’ I get what they were doing with this name, but I spent my entire childhood and most of my adult life believing its name was meant to be a play on the word ‘Paris’…..Just ‘Why is this little mushroom tick named after a city in France?’

Am I the only one who thinks its name would be a million times better if it was just Para? Heck, even Rasite would mesh better than Paras, if you ask me.

No fun facts this time because nearly every other country just kept Paras’ name the same because I guess no one gave enough of a damn about Paras to come up with a better name. In Cantonese, they made Mohguchuhng, which means ‘mushroom bug’ and that’s the best we got.

Design: Paras’ design is fine….It’s a bug….with mushrooms on it. It’s kinda cute, I guess…a little.

Sprite-wise, R/B looks really off. Its eyes are on top of its head for some reason, and it looks like it has a bit of a snout.

Yellow has a similar coloring issue as Oddish, Gloom and Vileplume. It’s extremely orange with barely any other discernible colors.

Everything else is fine, however, we do encounter something I’ve never seen before once we enter Gen III.

In Gens I and II, Paras is a deep orange color

and its shiny is this incredibly ugly light yellow-ish brown color. Seriously, this one of the least appealing shinies I’ve ever seen. It’s horrible.

In Gen III, however, they switched the color palettes. Now the regular version is a more yellow-ish color

and the shiny is a deep orange?

And in FR/LG the shiny has yellow mushrooms for some reason.

In later Gens, the color gets changed again to a deeper orange while still not being quite as deep of an orange as the shiny.

Shiny:

As I mentioned, it’s a darker orange Paras. They took a Paras, turned up the color saturation and called it a day.

At least we no longer have that gross Gen II shiny, though.

Dex Entries and Backstory: No matter if Paras is boring at face value, there’s no denying that it does have some creepy and interesting backstory to it. Paras is a bug with parasitic mushrooms on its back. The mushrooms are sought after as ingredients in vitality medicines. Paras spends its days constantly eating tree roots, but it is never satisfied because the tochukaso mushrooms on its back steal all of the nutrients from the host body, meaning the actual body of Paras is technically always starving. In Crystal, it’s even explained that the parasitic mushrooms are actually telling Paras to eat the juice from tree trunks.

Paras lives such a sad life. It’s constantly being starved by the mushrooms on its back, and those same mushrooms are plucked off by medicinal researchers. The mushrooms just grow back when they’re cut off, so it’s not even like Paras is freed after this. Jeez.

But as we’ll see, Paras kinda has it easy compared to Parasect.

Also, even though Paras, to the best of my knowledge, doesn’t have an alternative Alola form, the Dex entries note that Paras’ mushrooms don’t grow quite right in the Alolan environment.

Design-wise, the tochukaso mushrooms are based on caterpillar fungus, found in Southern China, Bhutan and Nepal. These mushrooms latch onto the larva of ghost moths, kill them, frickin’ mummify them and eventually sprout a fruiting body that is used in herbal medicines in China. In folk medicine, it is believed that the caterpillar fungi has great properties since it is a rare merging of animal and vegetable. The fruiting bodies of caterpillar fungus contain Cordycepin, which has been found to be very useful as a therapeutic compound, such as treatment in depression, and it has recently found some success in combating leukemia. I couldn’t find where they got this information, but the tochukaso page also says the fungus is used as a aphrodisiac, and that it treats fatigue and cancer.

I won’t go on and on about the caterpillar fungus since this is all you need to know in connection to Paras, but check out that Wiki link – it’s fascinating.

The body of Paras is said to be based on the cicada nymph, which….

I dunno, I guess maybe. In the legs at least.

The concept of Paras is also suggested to be based on ants that sometimes get parasitic mushrooms, also known as zombie-ant fungus, attached to them that takes over their brains and juts out of their heads and back. The fungus legitimately does turn them into mind-controlled zombies since, once the fungus takes over, the ant will be compelled to climb a leaf stalk and stop at exactly 25 centimeters, which is the optimal height for this fungus to grow due to having the best temperature and humidity. The ant just hangs there with its mouth latched onto the leaf while the fungus grows. Eventually, the fungus grows a bulb full of spores that will bust and rain spores all over the ant’s unwitting brethren who will then also be infected by the fungus and turn into zombies themselves.

Again, read the Atlantic article I linked to here. It’s incredibly interesting, gross and creepy as hell.

Finally, the mushrooms could be based on massospora, which is a type of fungi that commonly infects cicadas and produces a psychoactive effect.

Parasect

Name: Parasect’s name is less distractedly familiar than Paras’ name. It’s fine. It’s a combination of ‘parasite’ and ‘insect.’

Like before, its name is the same in Japanese and English, and every region barring China (in Cantonese anyway) keeps the name the same. In Cantonese, Parasect’s name is Geuihguchuhng, which translates to ‘giant mushroom bug.’

Design: Parasect technically looks fine. It has one giant mushroom instead of two small ones. It retains the poky pincer front legs, and the vacant white eyes definitely reflect a darker aspect of this Pokemon that we’ll go over in a second.

It does look a bit too much like a hermit crab, though. If you’re not looking at it from the right angle, the mushroom on its back can just look like a cone-esque shell.

Sprite-wise, the coloring issue Paras had doesn’t seem to have ever been present on Parasect. It was more orange-y in the first Gen, got a bit too red in Gen II, but then stayed consistent at red and orange-red/burnt orange, until Gen VI where it suddenly became gold and a fleshy pink color for some reason? It’s really, really ugly now.

Shiny:

Gen II’s shiny is the same yellow-brown gross mess that shiny Paras was. However, in later Gens, it has more of a gold or light/yellow-orange appearance to it, which is pretty nice.

Dex Entries and Backstory: Unlike Paras who is only partially compelled by the parasitic mushrooms on its back, Parasect is fully taken over by it. The parasite is so firmly in control of the bug portion of Parasect that Ultra Sun even states that the bug is mostly dead, leaving the mushroom as the main living organism. If the mushroom is ever somehow removed from Parasect, it will stop moving and presumably die.

Parasect typically live in cool, dark places, though, again, this is by will of the mushroom since that is where mushrooms thrive. Parasect will sometimes move in swarms that attack trees, drain them of their nutrients and kill them, simply moving on to another tree when they’re done.

Parasect is constantly spreading spores from its mushroom. These spores are used in medicines in China, and yes they outright say China several times, once again muddying what world Pokemon is meant to take place in.

I had wondered how Paras gets infected from birth, because its Dex entries stated that spores are sprinkled on them from birth, which is what causes the mushrooms to grow on their backs. I got my answer when Crystal explained that, when Parasect is so drained of energy that it dies, the mushroom will leave spores on the Pokemon’s eggs, seemingly infecting the newborn Paras.

That. Is. Horrible.

In Gen VII, Parasect starts having territorial disputes with Shiinotic, and the spores from Alolan Parasect are not considered as good as those in any other region, but, again, Parasect never got an alternate Alolan form.

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And that is Paras and Parasect – the usually overlooked, underappreciated walking tragedy of a Pokemon. These two still aren’t climbing any favorites lists for me, but I can’t deny that they have a really interesting story to them, even if it is terribly sad. Their entire species is geared towards suffering and basically becoming a zombie. And they don’t even have a chance at birth. They’re infected in the egg. It’s awful.

Next time, it’s the Veno line!

Previous – The Oddish Line

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