Everything.
Come on, have some mercy. I chose Eiken for this. EIKEN. I could write a college thesis for this entry.
Alright, alright.
The main thing that I really think would’ve helped Eiken be better is I wish Eiken had been more self-aware and had been more of a parody of ecchi instead of being one of the worst examples of it. It seems like it’s trying to go there sometimes because the jokes are just so obvious and in your face that you think it has to be a parody, but it’s not. They’re just lazy and making the stupidest and most obvious jokes they can.
They had the foundation for a parody right in the premise. Those ginormous boobs could’ve been a parody in themselves, but nope. They’re just used as really poorly made fanservice.
Truth be told, I can’t even understand how the people with a massive boob fetish get into this. The overall art and animation are terrible (manga included) and the colors are so ugly it’s like someone’s jamming randomly selected crayons into my eye sockets.
Look at these uniforms.
Yellow. Lime Green. Red. And Purple. What are the bows even about? They look so awkwardly placed.
I’m going to stop myself now because I’m going off into another Eiken tangent. I just don’t understand anything about this show’s existence.
The Anime Madhouse 
The position of the breasts are also really weird. They have big boobs, but the amount of sagging horrible fitting bras makes me sad for all of these girls. Poor them. 😦
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As a…somewhat large chested person myself, I can sympathize with that. I don’t know how half these girls live even remotely comfortably. Also, I’m not sure how many of these girls even wear bras, which just adds to the ouch factor.
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This anime makes my brain sick. In the Infinite Loops fanfics, misbehaving characters are sent to Eiken as a punishment!
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I wouldn’t wish that punishment on my worst enemies. lol
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Also, what if this anime is actually an ad for mastectomies?
And what if it got dubbed by 4Kids?
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If it got dubbed by 4Kids, it would just be a black screen with unrecognizable dialogue and pop songs playing in the background lol.
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Well, they DID dub One Piece, so an actual Eiken dub isn’t out of the question. I imagine 4Kids hacking off all the boobs and the girls worshipping 4Kids as their savior.
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I don’t think 4Kids would bother because there’s nothing appealing for kids and it’s not marketable. One Piece, despite the editable violence, was cartoony, goofy, fun action with plenty of marketability. Plus, friggin’ pirates. Come on, man.
Eiken would just be boring stupidity and would have no value whatsoever if they took the boobs off since that’s their only hook. (Plus the digital paint costs, yikes.) Also, it would probably end up being like 5 minutes long with all the content cuts lol
Fear not, though. Eiken is already dubbed anyway. Media Blasters, the smut peddlers using the guise of the more mass-appealing label of Anime Works, have the license and dubbed it in 2004. Because the world isn’t a just place.
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It really says something when your anime would be better if it was dubbed by 4Kids, even if they just made it a blank screen.
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I like big boobies to a point. Based on the artwork I have seen this series crosses the line. Most of better ecchi shows I like know their audience and make a point to use the fan service in a comical way.
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