The Salty Anime Challenge – Day 1: Least Favorite Anime

Not pulling any punches, eh? Questions like this always throw me because I’ll think I have a lock on it, but then I’ll remember another show later that deserves the spot even more.

I have some nominees for this category like 6 Angels, Skelter Heaven, Amnesia, Baldr.exe, Shining Tears x Wind. I felt my criteria should be a show I would never watch ever again. I thought I had backed myself into a corner because nearly every entry is something I could return to again for one reason or another if I absolutely had to….But then I remembered…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bananas.

I mean Eiken.

Fuck. This. Show.

Never have I felt more robbed of an hour of my life. I went into this show obviously knowing it would be bad – you can tell from the cover art that it’s stupid – but not this level of soul-poisoning horribleness.

I’ve seen people defend this show by saying it’s just a goofy stupid ecchi show and it’s so bad it’s funny.

Nononono. Skelter Heaven is so bad it’s kinda funny. 6 Angels is so bad it’s kinda funny. Even Mad Bull 34 has moments where it’s so bad it’s kinda funny. Eiken is so bad I could hear my brain pleading for mercy the entire time I was watching it.

It’s not even that it’s ridiculously overblown ecchi with some of the biggest chest weights you could ever witness – it’s the sheer laziness and repetitiveness of it all. There are three jokes in this OVA.

“Wow, that’s funny because she has big boobs.”

*Slapstick so unrealistic even cartoonists from the 1920’s would ask what you’re smoking resulting in some obvious visual innuendo or groping*

Bananas are funny because they look like dicks.

Yeah, I’m using an old meme. If they’re gonna be lazy, so can I.

It is an hour of anti-humor. I know I mentioned in my review of Eiken episode two that it didn’t seem worse than 6 Angels because I could understand what’s going on, but my views have changed. The non-sensical nature of 6 Angels may actually help it because if I can’t understand what’s going on then I can just laugh at everything ridiculous going on around me. I can understand what’s happening in Eiken, and that means I have to pay attention and be enraged instead.

I humored the idea of giving Eiken the AniManga Clash treatment, but not only would that require me to re-watch the series, but I’d also be obligated to reading the manga.

The manga.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The manga……

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE 18 VOLUME MANGA!

I’m sorry. I’d like to avoid brain aneurysms as much as possible, thanks.

Shameless plug – want to get the full low down on my views of this anime in a beat-by-beat breakdown?

Here are my full reviews to each episode.

Eiken Episode 1

Eiken Episode 2

Runner UpColorful (The Series) Would’ve made it if it actually made me feel any emotions besides the desire to nap.

SSBS – Blue Dragon Episode 2

SSBS BD Episode 2

Plot: Shu awakens the power of his shadow, the Blue Dragon. However, he is unable to control him and the creature goes on a rampage. Jiro is able to stop him with the power of his own shadow, the Minotaur, and Sola knocks Shu out to recall the beast.

The next day, Sola and Jiro explain the situation they’re in. A malevolent dark shadow user named Nene has developed the ability to create false shadows and he’s using their power to take over the land. It’s up to the descendants of the original seven warriors of light to bring together their legitimate shadows and take him down. Jiro and Sola are two of the warriors and Shu has now revealed himself to be a third. They ask for him to join them on their journey to find the other warriors and take down Nene, but Shu refuses. He won’t leave his village defenseless against Nene’s army and he’s too frightened and overwhelmed at this new information.

His friends try to encourage him, but their conversation is cut short when Nene’s robot soldiers attack the village again. Shu tries to call out the Blue Dragon, but is unable to. In order to show Shu what a shadow warrior can truly do, Sola calls out her Killer Bat and they dispatch the soldiers easily. Shu comes to the realization that the village will keep getting attacked as long as he remains there, leaving him with no choice but to leave. Kluke decides to come along as well, and they start their journey.

Breakdown: This episode isn’t really doing much the first one didn’t do. We get more of the Blue Dragon and some more plot information, but it’s really just one of those necessary transition episodes before actually get on with the plot.

That’s a bit of a bigger problem than usual because this show as a whole still isn’t doing much for me. It’s just not all that interesting so far. The enemies are forgettable, the stakes aren’t terribly high yet and not even the shadows are considerably interesting. Plus, while I understand where Shu’s coming from, he is incredibly annoying in this episode. Not in his fear or reluctance to leave but mostly in his squealing and badgering dialogue.

Plus, Akira Toriyama’s art is just distracting. I get that he did artwork for this show, but everything keeps giving me DBZ flashbacks, even if the plot isn’t that similar. It feels like a DBZ skin on an unrelated show.

Kluke’s also got a tinge of annoyance in this episode. Yes, now’s a perfect time to fangirl over the enemy robots…..when they’re shooting at your fellow villagers….friends….family….

I will say Sola made me giggle a little when she said this.

Sola: “Do they really think I’m going to wait until they’re all combined before I attack?”

Ah old battle anime cliches. Be thankful you’re not in a magical girl anime.

Magical girl: “Two minute transformation sequence activate!”

Enemy: “Aw come on! You do this every time! Do you know how disrespectful this seems to the battle!? One of these days I’m going to stab you while you’re doing that little sparkly spin move to summon your thigh-high boots, how’d you like that?!”

Next time, Jiro and Shu start training together. I enjoy training arcs….oddly, so yay!