Segment Three – Mrs. Potts’ Party
This one can be summed up even more quickly. Mrs. Potts is feeling down because it’s been cloudy for weeks. Belle and the others decide to cheer her up by throwing her a party. Lumiere and Cogsworth screw everything up because of their fighting. Mrs. Potts finds out about their party plans and says this whole thing is just making her feel even worse.
Belle apologizes and says everything’s her fault for some reason when it’s obviously not. Mrs. Potts says she’s really upset that all of her friends are fighting so much, and the others decide to try and make another party. By the dialogue, they sound like they’re doing it more to prove that they can work together and not because they really want to make it up to Mrs. Potts. They succeed, yay party.
Followed up by a song that doesn’t quite fit called ‘A Little Thought’. Basically, it’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand how they feel and get along and work together, but they didn’t do that. They just up and decided to not be selfish idiotic children.
This episode is completely boring. There are no jokes, if there are they’re so lame they’re not even worth noticing, and the plot is so predictable I could cry. Also, really, Mrs. Potts is brash enough to say ‘well, this whole thing just makes me just feel worse.’?
Ya know, almost anyone would feel better or at least feign a better mood just by learning that their friends care about them enough to make a party for them, especially going to all the trouble they did. Sure, she’s upset that they’re fighting, but she’s negating the effort behind the planning and the care behind the whole idea.
Then the others let Belle take all the rap for it even though she fought with no one, this whole thing was her idea, and she did her damnedest to keep the others from fighting? Lumiere, Cogsworth, the two stupid married oven mitts, you guys can contract the worst type of mold.
I bet you’re wondering where the Beast was in this one. He was asleep…..through the whole thing. He was apparently fixing leaks on the roof and it took so much out of him that he was out like a light and slept through like three days. First of all, the Beast was fixing leaks on the roof? When he has a whole castle full of servants? Some of which probably are lumber, hammers and nails because apparently damn near everything is alive here? Uh huh, sure.
Yeah they’re all objects now, but they’re fully capable of doing every other chores around the castle. I can’t see how one of them wasn’t able to do that. Nor how the Beast could be arsed to do it anyway. He can’t seem to do anything on his own besides mope, emotionally abuse and beat things up.
Second, he was in a comatose-like sleep for around THREE DAYS? How could a beast with his strength and abilities get that exhausted by fixing a roof?
Finally, Beast wakes up in the final shot of the episode where he sees his bedroom filled with flowers (Long stupid story; Lumiere and Cogsworth did it to cover up the party.) He sniffs a rose and sneezes, the end. Yup, Beast is allergic to roses. I’m not sure if that’s deeply ironic. Thank god he never sniffed the magical rose or else they’d all be screwed the second after the spell was set in motion.
Segment four – Broken Wing
Let’s just plow through the entirety of this one. Beast, who is actually actively participating in an episode, holy crap, is hounding Cogsworth to get a perfect lunch ready for him and Belle. Meanwhile, a bird breaks its wing and crashes in through the window in Belle’s room. The Wardrobe, who apparently has several names but no name in the animated version, freaks out.
Wardrobe: “The master! Oh he will..!…He doesn’t much care for animals.”
Belle: “But it’s only a tiny bird.”
Wardrobe: “Oh! The master likes birds least of all!”
There are several things wrong with that statement. First, beast hates animals….when he pretty much is one right now? If there was ever a time where he’d sympathize with animals, it’d be now.
Second, how can he hate animals when he has a pet dog? Remember Sultan? He is a dog, just as a footstool now. By the way, how much of a bitch is the enchantress to also change his dog into furniture? He’s just a damn dog. Changing his servants was unfair enough, but the dog? I hope you got hit by lightning out in that storm, lady.
Finally, he hates birds most of all? Must suck to be Witherspoon, the servant who got turned into a pigeon…..The character that was created just for this movie…..
Beast bangs on her door, and Belle and Wardrobe hide the bird inside of the Wardrobe (………Uhhhhhh……ewww?)
He enters, and after some tweaking of his insanely awful manners, he invites her to lunch and she accepts, with him nearly catching wind of the bird as he leaves.
Belle asks what Beast has against such cute and harmless animals as the bird and the Wardrobe says;
Wardrobe: “Well, it’s beautiful, lovely and sweet. Everything he’s not.” Well, by that logic, he should hate Belle too.
Belle treats and cares for the bird, there’s some stupid subplot about no one wanting to obey Cogsworth because he has a stick up his ass, but they listen to Mrs. Potts because she’s so kind and motherly, and he’s jealous. Belle is really late for lunch so Beast angrily goes to fetch her and she admits that she’s been taking care of a bird.
He demands that she get rid of it, and sadly proclaims his disappointment that she’d rather care for a bird than eat lunch with him. And by ‘sadly proclaims’ I mean he squeaks out ‘You were supposed to eat with me….’ while sounding like he was gonna start sobbing at the end. I swear, Beast needs loads of therapy.
He decides to get rid of the bird himself and chases it around the castle. It’s funny how the Beast can’t keep pace with a wounded bird.
They continue their chase when Beast trips over his own cape and falls down the stairs. He hits his head and falls unconscious.
PbbbbttttttttBWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Hey angry mob from the movie; forget the torches and pitchforks, just put a flight of stairs in front of the Beast. See, Edna from The Incredibles was right. Capes are nothing but trouble.
As the Beast starts to come out of it, he hears the bird singing and finds it so nice that he pulls a 180 and demands that the bird never leave the castle. (Yup, yup, loads of therapy. Maybe a med or two. Maybe an MRI.) He wants the bird kept in a cage so it can sing for him forever, despite Belle’s pleas.
So….has the Beast never heard a bird sing?
Obviously, the bird won’t sing when it’s all depressed in a cage. Cogsworth suggests singing to the bird to prompt it to sing. After his and Beast’s embarrassing attempts, Beast commands Cogsworth to go get Belle.
When Belle arrives, she points out the obvious, sad bird won’t sing, yelling at it won’t help, but Beast won’t listen.
Days or weeks pass and Beast reflects on what Belle said. He grabs the bird cage and heads upstairs where he rips the lock and door off of the cage (there are these things called ‘keys’ Beast) and they make it look like he’s going to kill the bird but he’s really taking his bandage off since he believes it’s healed now.
Cogsworth tries to prod him to knock the bird out or keep a tight grip on the bird to keep him from flying off, but Beast reveals that he won’t fly away because he trusts him. Oh yeah, you earned that trust by taking him away from a loving caretaker, chasing him around the castle, locking him in a cage, yelling at him and then never letting him out of the cage until you believe he’s been healed. ~~Trust.
Anyway, the Beast lets the bird go and while it can fly for a little while, it ends up falling on one of the castle’s spires. Beast jumps down to save him and nearly falls, Cogsworth falls while trying to call out for him, the Beast saves the bird, but Cogsworth ends up falling again because he never fixed the Beast’s ripped cape.
The little piece of cape catches on another ledge and Cogsworth starts to apologize to the servants down below for being a hardass. Oh right, the subplot. I completely forgot. The cape rips, the servants save him.
Meanwhile, the bird flies away again, now perfectly fine somehow, gives a quick nudge to Belle and flies away. Sometime later, Belle and Beast finally have their lunch and the bird returns with a new girlfriend. Because no happy ending is truly happy unless everyone has a love interest. That’s why so many sequels exist.
Beast is happy, Belle’s happy, hooray. Credits with uninteresting and unfitting jaunty music. The end.
Welp….Ahhh…..That sure explains why this show never saw the light of day outside of this ‘movie’.
This is a mess of a movie. It’s not really a movie to begin with. It’s just an excuse to make money from the TV series episodes they already animated. The episodes themselves are just bland and uninteresting with hardly a joke or exciting moment to be had. The Beast’s insane mood swings get really tiresome after a while (I was actually thankful he wasn’t in segments two or most of three after getting sick of his bull in four.) And you just sit there wondering why you’re watching it.
The art is only passable. At the very least you can recognize the characters immediately, but the details are scarce, Beast is just drawn weird, especially when he’s happy, the coloring is very off, particularly with Beast who looks bleached out, and they make the castle look absolutely drab.
The animation? A contender for worst animation of the Disquels. This is where that ‘derp Belle’ screen shot meme came from, and trust me, that’s not the only time she does it.
There are animation errors in nearly every shot, and they’re so obvious I almost want to say these episodes are unfinished or at least unpolished for final distribution. I just could not stop seeing weird animation errors and quirks. Like the last shot of Belle eating with Beast, she’s clearly only animated from the waist up with her butt and skirt being completely still.
It’s also obvious that they took shortcuts like keeping Beast out of nearly half of the episodes since I imagine he’s the hardest/most costly to animate, and other characters stay off screen for a long time when he is in the episode, like Lumiere disappeared for most of segment four.
The music is alright, but completely forgettable. That song I said was pretty decent? ‘Listen with Our Hearts’? By the time I finished the second segment, I had completely forgotten what it sounded like. It was even worse with the second song because I didn’t care much for it in the first place.
The songs are just oddly placed too. Musical numbers in movies, and even in TV shows, are usually kept for somewhere in the actual episode, not shoved until after the episode has already ended like some super reinforcement of the lesson. It’s really weird that this movie only has two songs anyway. Based on a movie that was praised for its music, two meh musical numbers is all they can come up with? They aren’t even trying.
Bottomline: In the end, this movie is a complete waste of time. The lessons that it’s trying to teach are either so in your face that you’d think they were talking to toddlers or they were so unclear that you’re left scratching your head and wondering what the point was. There’s plenty to be irritated about here, whether it’s the poor writing or irritating character moments, and ignoring all of that just leaves you with a bunch of really bland TV show episodes.
Beauty and the Beast was never meant to be a series. It doesn’t have the structure, it doesn’t have the proper style, and it’s ridiculous that they were trying to jam seasons worth of material into what was probably a few weeks or a month of unspecified downtime in the movie. Hell, in the time that lapsed in segment four alone, they were likely already at the point in the movie where they were transformed back into humans.
But hey, who cares about that when you can save money in the art department by having perpetual nuclear winter, apparently.
The idea is terrible, what came of it was terrible, it’s pointless because we already know the outcome of the movie and thus know that every single conflict they’ll come up with ends up okay anyway; it’s just a bottomless chasm of pointless blah.
And you know what? I watched a special edition version with an extra episode. Mrs. Potts’ Party wasn’t in the original version of this movie, so the actual first version of this movie has even LESS value. Why did they place Mrs. Potts Party as the third segment and not tack it on as the last, anyway? Did they think that episode was unworthy of ending on? I mean, it was awful, but the actual end is just saving a bird.
I concur that Enchanted Christmas was eons better than this movie. At least that was a movie. At least they had a budget. At least it had a semi-interesting plot, barring the predictable ending due to ‘midquel-itis’. At least they inserted songs INTO the movie where they belong.
Well, at the very least Magical World is decent enough to entertain your very young kids with for an hour….
Recommended Audience: Absolutely nothing. E for everyone.