AVAHS – Father Christmas (1991) Review


Plot: What does Santa do for the other 365 days of the year? You’d be surprised to find that Santa is just another person like everyone else, just with a special job.

Breakdown: *hides*……..Sorry guys, wasn’t feeling this one. *flee*

I understand this is a rather treasured holiday classic; expected of the sequel to the legendary Christmas short, The Snowman, But….yeah, I just don’t….really…like it.

I dunno, maybe I’m stingy about how Santa ‘should’ be. I’m usually very open to other interpretations of Santa, but this one just doesn’t sit with me right. He’s a bit of a grump, he’s crude, and he’s basically an alcoholic. Let me just say, I never thought I’d see a Christmas special with Santa getting sloshed across the globe, getting diarrhea, and rushing to the bathroom constantly for like two minutes of runtime, seeing his ass several times, and him having a trippy dream where he imagines beans and snails dancing around a cow who is vomiting milk.

Down to the bare bones, he does seem like a nice enough guy. He wouldn’t do the job he has otherwise. He cares about Christmas, but like any other job he tends to complain about it a lot.

I guess the other main problem I have with it is that I wasn’t really entertained through much of it. A majority of the movie is Santa on vacation in France then Scotland then Las Vegas. He gets drunk, he complains, he gets sick, he complains, he does random things, and then he goes home to get stuff ready for Christmas. There’s not really a lot that is that interesting or funny to me.

When we get to the Christmas part, it’s a little better because we see Santa in a bit of a better light, but it doesn’t make up for much, especially since I didn’t much care for the song at the end. The melody’s fine, but Santa’s not singing for much of it – he’s sing-talking. And it’s even a stretch to say that much. I did like the throwback to The Snowman with the cameos from The Snowman and The Boy, that was pretty cool.

Finally, I was mostly just annoyed by how much Santa said ‘bloomin’’ in this short. The Wiki page even counts how many times he says it over the course of the 26 minute feature; 72 times. That is almost a minimum of three ‘bloomin’’s per minute. But I guess it’s better to the supposedly butchered American version where he replaces this with ‘merry’. Yeah, express disdain by saying ‘merry’. That’s a really merry stupid idea.

Maybe this just isn’t my personal cup of tea. Check it out your own bloomin’ self.

Recommended Audience: Gambling, lots of drinking, smoking, diarrhea, vomiting, and several instances of Santa bum. 7+

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